Self preservation.

I'm leaving in two hours to drive 30-40 minutes each way to Milwaukee to have my beta drawn. Yep, at 1130 at night.
I get to have it drawn tomorrow but I don't feel like getting up at 4am before DH has to leave for work. Since I'm a night owl-- I'll go tonight at midnight (they're a 24hr lab at mke's biggest hospital). I'll know sometime tomorrow.
Not feeling very positive though. Trying to be hopeful but just don't have any good signs to believe that this has gone our way... I want this so badly.
I'm just already feeling defeated.
I've already gone though the steps of what to do next.
I know that I'm not doing the same protocol as this time.
I wish I hadn't already begun to move on to the next cycle mentally. It's just what I know.
I try not to wallow too long in something that cannot be changed.
If it's positive-- then holy crap!
I'll be super excited and totally wrong in moving ahead so fast.
But if it's not-- I'll be able to better hit the ground running.
It's self preservation.
I've cried enough. It's time to keep moving forward; time for a new game plan.

Tomorrow, I'll know for sure.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone