Some recent photos of the boys!

Mason the day before Thanksgiving!


Mason today!
7lbs, 3.0 oz




Christopher the day before Thanksgiving!



Christopher yesterday.
7lbs, 3.4oz!


One more...
Sleeping in a stroller to help his reflux! :)



-C. Vaughn

Our Due Date.

Yes, I have been MIA since my little boy, Mason has come home. In fact, as I write this I will be taking frequent breaks to feed him, change him and pump. I also just arrived home from where little Christopher still resides. He's not so little, he now weights 7 lbs, 3 oz!

Yesterday, 11-27-11 was their official "due date". That means they are now 40-week (full term) gestational babies!

Yet, it is bittersweet. I feel so blown away by the fact that they could have still been in my belly until a few days ago. I have heard of Mothers that make it that far with twins. Crazy, but true.

My boys are now more than 11 weeks old and amaze me with how big AND STRONG they are getting. At this point I am saddened that Christopher is still in the NICU for feeding issues. He may have a milk allergy and therefore they have stopped all EBM (Expressed Breast Milk) until I have gone on a completely milk-free diet for two weeks. It may sound easy, but we are not just talkin' no milk on your cereal. This is "No" to almost every thing! Even my breads and vegetarian burgers contain milk in one of its forms! So for now, he is strictly on Neocate, which he was on back when he first started feeds. He is often taking many of the feedings from the bottle (about 50cc's) but he still has issues coordinating his breathing, sucking and swallowing. Hopefully thr jump in his Hematocrit today will help. (Now up to 31!!! :)

Mason has been doing well at home. He is such a joy to watch each day. He keeps me up all night since he barely sleeps for 45 minutes to an hour at each feeding. He is currently on a 3 hour schedule-- I spend most of it breast feeding him directly. He hates having his diaper changed most of the time, screaming "bloody murder" ad DH says. However, over time I feel he is getting somewhat better. He hasn't pee'd on me all day today; he saved it up for Dad :)

He had his first bath at home on the 20th before DH went back to work for the two days before Thanksgiving break. We had looked forward to the break since we knew Mason was coming home the week before. It figures that DH got sick the very first day of the break. He has now been sick every day since then. Today, he even lost his voice. We spent the afternoon since he got home whispering to each other.

This means I am on my own during the days and during the night. DH does what he can for now. He takes Mason from 6-10pm when I go to visit Christopher 45 minutes away at the NICU. But I have been letting him sleep through the night in our bed, hoping it will help him get over his cold and be more rested for work. Yes, it's tiring. But I know Friday and Saturday night I will be asking for him to return the favor :)

Getting to go through the experience of feeding Mason at all hours, seeing his face each 'morning' and having the precious one-on-one time makes me feel even worse for not having Christopher at home as well. I realize exactly how much I am missing with him being in the NICU for almost 12 weeks now. With no end in sight for when he might come home, it's hard to stay sane.

I love them so much it seems impossible. Today, I can't help but think how our lives would have been different if they were born just over 11 weeks later. I would've taken all of the extra pounds, back aches and in the world to have Christopher home with us today.

Can't wait until our whole family can be together!!! (And DH can then take his paternity leave!)

Mason is coming home!!!

Mason is coming home-- TODAY!

DH and I are overjoyed that we will have at least one of our boys home tonight!!!

Here he is snoozing on his last night in the NICU!



He will not have to go home in a monitor, but does have a few meds he will need to take so his hematocrit will continue to increase. (poly-vi-sol w/iron, another iron supplement, and colic acid).

The car seat is in my car parked at the hospital...his going home outfit is washed...he had his last speech therapy appointment at noon (see below)...the neonatologist has seen him...DH is off tomorrow thru Sunday-- let's do this thing!!!


So why am I sad???

We still have to leave Christopher at the NICU. In a way, this is a day I was afraid of. Leaving Christopher here by himself is a horrible thought to me. He has alway had his brother with him, even if he was across the room. It will also be much harder to manage a baby at home AND at the NICU instead of one location. I'm worried we won't get to see him as much; that it will be too hard bringing Mason back and forth each day, 45 minutes each way. I also don't want to expose Mason to extra germs it bring any with us.

I have only missed 1 day out of 67 because I was sick and not allowed in. I don't want to miss seeing Chris at all-- especially since he is getting so much better at his breast feeding.

*sigh*

Am I happy? Yes.

Do I wish they were both coming home instead, obviously.

I just know this will make us even more ecstatic when Christopher can come home too. Both if my baby boys, home, where they belong.

-C. Vaughn

TWO MONTHS!

My beautiful boys are TWO MONTHS OLD today! I can't believe it has been so long!

Everyday, DH and I have driven back and forth to the hospital to see them, change their diapers, take their temperatures, hold them, feed them, etc, etc . . .I'm starting to think I should get paid at the hospital! :)

They are truly amazing little babies! Today, Mason weighed 6lbs 7 oz. Christopher weighed 6lbs 1 oz. They have more than doubled their weight since birth!

More on the boys:

Mason-
Weighing 6 lbs 7oz and eating 55cc's at each feeding 8/day. He gets many of his feedings by bottle or breast, however he still needs some support from the gavage tube (feeding tube inserted through his nose). He is also still on the monitor that measures his RR (respiratory rate) and HR (heart rate) via three probes on his chest. Mason is also working on getting his HCT (hematocrit) high enough so that he won't need a blood transfusion. His current level was 24 today! :) That is up from 20 last Monday. This is great news since it should be between 32-42. Basically, the HCT is is the number of red blood cells he has in his blood--without an average amount of the red blood cells he has no energy. That means no energy to eat from the bottle or breast--which then means no going home. . . it's a vicious cycle.

Mason has had good results in most other areas. Yet, I am still concerned about signs of very early ROP in one of his eyes. Unrelated, I am also wondering how long this crazy yellow/green eye drainage he has is going to continue. They ran a culture on it and nothing seems to reveal red flags. Everyone keeps saying it must be a bad case of 'clogged tear ducts'. Well that damn tear duct has been clogged for over a month now and I can only de-crust and wipe out his eyes so many times in a day. I wish there was a better answer.

Anyone have experience with this? Thoughts?

Over all, Mason is a pretty happy little boy! He loves to eat and suck on his pacifier. He is also a big fan of being held after he breast feeds--which he is getting so good at. It is fast becoming our favorite time together :) He has also passed his OT (Occupational therapy) appointments with flying colors! Dr. Sue is so impressed! :)

Mason 1 day old. . .

Mason 2 months old. . .

Christopher-
Weighing 6lbs 1oz today he has finally broken the 6 lb weight barrier! He is currently eating 53cc's at each feeding 8/day. However, he is not as advanced as Mason in his 'nipple feedings'. He takes most of his feedings via gavage, but is working hard with the speech therapist to become better at latching on during bottle feedings, which will then help his breast feedings as well. Christopher has had a few successful breast feedings so far, but they are limited to a maximum of 10-15 minute bursts. His HCT (Hematocrit) is much lower than Mason's which of course means he has even less energy. Monday is was only 19, so the news of 20.7 today, although low is welcome news because that means it is increasing. He has already had two transfusions and I (and the doctors) would like to avoid another one if possible. Transfusing can trick the body into stopping the production of new red blood cells. It causes the body to think, "Hey! We got enough here--hold the production line!" --which in turn only makes things worse later down the road.

Moreover, I think Christopher reflux is what is holding him back most. It really is bad. He is constantly refluxing, coughing and waking up from sleep. No wonder he is tired! If I had that kind of reflux, I wouldn't want to eat either. The only thing that seems to solve the problem is to hold him during and after his feedings-- pretty tricky when you have twins exclusively on your breast milk and need to pump/feed every 2-3 hours!

Christopher is also still on the monitor that measures his RR (respiratory rate) and HR (heart rate) via three probes on his chest. He has had no alarms today; A welcome Birthday gift I am sure! While Mason may have to be watched more closely for ROP, at last check Christopher's seems less likely to cause as much of a problem, although the chance is still there. Christopher also has one more OT appointment on Monday at 11am. Hopefully he will still be right on track and not need anymore appointments with Dr. Sue by the time he goes home.

Christopher is a very sweet little boy! He likes to observe a lot. He can sit wide-eyed in my arms for over an hour just looking around at things in the room. He holds his hands across his chest and seems to know wayyyy more than a little baby his age should. While he has not shown as much interest in nipple feedings as Mason has, he is beginning to come around. Lately, he has begun to develop interest in his pacifier. This is great not only to help train him for nipple feeds but also to perhaps help with the amount that his 'tongue tied' issue effect his feedings. Using the pacifier can help stretch out his tongue, bringing it forward and sometimes correcting the problem on his own without the need for 'surgery'.

Christopher 1 day old. . .

Christopher 2 months old. . .

Happy two month birthday to my adorable little angels!

I love you more than words could ever say. I can't wait to have you home with Daddy and I-- we are hoping you will BOTH be home to stay by Christmas!

Love, Mommy.

xoxo

How Moms of Multiples feel. . .

I love this. LOVE.

A very helpful video on 'hand-pumping'.

Ironically, I was doing many of these things on my own before watching this video. I think it must be ingrained into women's brains to some extent.

However, there were still encouraging results and additional techniques I loved being able to see via the video instead of just told by mouth.

The video is definitely geared towards women who have premies in the NICU, cannot immediately nurse their babies and want to get the most milk possible at each pumping session.

HAND EXPRESSION VIDEO

Oh, and if DH wants to watch they show real breasts in the video. :)

Tongue Tied? WTH.

So Christopher is apparently "tongue tied".

Not 'tongue tied' as in "I can't speak". The 'tongue tied' that causes issues with breast feeding, bottle feeding, speech and according to many reports--"french kissing later in life". Much later I hope. But I'd hate to be yelled at years down the road when my son is dating.

The issue is "resolved" by cutting/snipping the frenulum underneath the tongue. (The thing that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. But ewww and ouch!!! My poor baby!

So. . . what to do???

I'm still in debate.

Gone too soon. . .

I cannot express how saddened I am to learn about the passing of, Meghan Joule on Wednesday, October 26th, 2011.

Meghan was and is the proud Mother of triplets conceived through IVF/FET.

I wish comfort for Meghan's family. May she be at peace and bless her beautiful children. There is a fund set up for her children's education.

Donations can be made to:
Barton Joule Triplets Fund
Horizons North Credit Union
11455 Pearl St.
Northglenn,CO 80233

So in memory of her and the amazing strength she demonstrated, I wanted to share a quote from her blog. That speaks of the love women with IF feel for their children--but even more so for those like, Meghan. Those who are gone from the loves of their life, that they fought so hard for; gone too soon.

"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother"

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes, I will be a wonderful mother."

-Unknown