DH and I have been hashing this out for weeks now, but pretty in depth over the last few days. It's stressed me out and changed my personality and moods to a point where I'm sick of myself. We needed to decide. Whatever it was, we needed to commit to something. Hopefully it will help my sanity before the school year starts, at least a bit.
I talked with my RE's office today and we are scheduled to begin our first IVF cycle.
I have to wait for AF. Then, go in for the CD3 tests (my old RE NEVER gave after me asking many many times for one). Then the stimulation (shots) plan. Then test for LH surge (Ovulation), then 8 days later begini taking the lupron. Then AF and other stims. . . and that should bring us to the beginning of October.
My estimated ER (if all goes well) should be around the middle of October.
If this IVF does not work (which I don't want to even think about) then I will be going in for the lap. (Perhaps to remove tubes, maybe not . . .I'll worry about that then.)
For now, I'm trying REALLY hard to think positively about this upcoming IVF cycle, but it's hard. We are 100% OOP and although we have some money set aside, no one likes to hand someone 13 grand for nothing. Plus, then I'd need to have the lap. . . and then another IVF cycle. All these things are running through my head while I'm trying not to get too stressed-- HAHA!!!
TTFN, I'll keep you posted!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
So get this shit.
Today was my first meeting with the new RE.
At noon, we drove an hour into another state to get there. Once we arrived we headed into the ultrasound room for another appointment with the dildo cam. A lady with one of the thickest accents I have ever heard introduced herself (I think?) and did the procedure. It was a lengthy u/s. It lasted at least 20 minutes, during which she told us I had a "beautiful uterus . . .just beuatiful". That was about the last good news we heard that day. She told me it looked like my blockage was in my right tube, not my left. I told her my ectopic was on the left side-- I was sure of it. She said she didn't see anything in my left tube, but the right side definitely had something in it, a mass of fluid.
After we completed the u/s, blood pressure, weight and height check, we sat in the waiting room . . . and sat. . . and finally I asked if we were going to have to wait another 30 minutes past our appointment time.
Eventually they took us back to see the new RE. He's an interesting guy. Kind of a smart-ass and not easily impressed--unless you have statistics to show him. He discussed my u/s photos with us. He began by telling me how I have a hydrosalpinx or "hydro" in my right tube. (See above: Third picture from the bottom on the left). Basically this means my right tube is most likely blocked from receiving follicles from my right ovary. Not only that, but he also said (and I have also read) that even though we "bypass" the tubes with an IVF, if this is not treated before the IVF procedure if can lessen the chances of getting pregnant from IVF. IN addition if I do become pregnant from IVF the "hyrdo" fluid my leak into my uterus (since the blockage won't let it out the other end like it is supposed to) and harm the developing fetus, causing miscarriage.
FUCKING GREAT.
He suggested I should (without actually saying "I need to") have another HSG to see if in fact fluid is getting through as it was in January. If there is no blockage, I should be fine. If there is a proven blockage, he said I need to have a laparoscopyto either clear the blockage or "better yet" remove the whole tube. . . . . . . What? Here is my Re's explanation of the process.
Not only do I not want to have any of my organs removed, go through another painful HSG (or pay for one), or have a painful laparoscopy procedure that can cost up to $27,000-- I don't have time time to even take off for any of these procedures! Especially the 2-3 weeks off he recommends after the lap! I am starting a new job at a school. Teachers can't just take weeks off.
This is insane. I just want to get to the point where we are making progress. I am sick of falling into a new hole every time I try and move onto the next step. I am sick, tired, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. I haven;t felt like myself since the beginning of JULY!
I feel depressed. For the first time in this whole journey, I feel like I'm losing hope. I don;t know if I can see the light at the end of this tunnel anymore. Before, I felt hopeful almost happy about the experience. Telling myself, "This will make me so much happier when we finally have our baby . . . blah, blah, blah."
Now, I'm not sure if we will ever have our own biological child.
On the way home from the RE apt, I told my DH, "Maybe we should just adopt."
And I was serious.
I'm not sure how much more disappointment I can take. I haven't even begun the IVF process and I'm already discouraged. That's not a good sign. I just want this so damn badly my head is making me think crazy. I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat the last few days. DH and I got into an argument the other day and I pretty much snapped. I really don't know if this is something an IF therapist is really going to make me feel any better about. Maybe the planned acupuncture will help?
All we can think to do is call my old RE and see if he will do an HSG with sedation. He had discussed with us on Aug 5th that we should do that if we wanted to continue with IUI's. He also said he gives patients some kind of pain relief (sedation, meds?) to help and he doesn't know why all doc's don't do that for the procedure. I agree completely. If he gives sedation with the procedure, I will have one with him and see if anything is blocked or not.
If it isn't blocked we move onto IVF at the new RE without a worry. Most likely doing the 100% money back plan.
If my tube or tubes are blocked we will try one IVF and FET cycle OOP (out of pocket without a "shared risk" plan) at the new RE hoping and praying to get a BPF and successful delivery.
If we do the IVF and FET cycle and no baby, . . .we will see what we want to do when we get to it. Perhaps a lap to remove the blockage/ hydro/ and possible endometriosis. Then, we hope to be able to try again.
I am somewhere around ovulation right now. I have one follicle (good size about 18+) on my left side. But I am afraid to try again "naturally". What if my fears are right and both tubes are shot? I don't think I could handle another ectopic pregnancy.
So I wait for AF to return for the first time since June. When she's here, I will have to do CD3 tests, and a possible HSG.
Good God, what have I gotten us into?
At noon, we drove an hour into another state to get there. Once we arrived we headed into the ultrasound room for another appointment with the dildo cam. A lady with one of the thickest accents I have ever heard introduced herself (I think?) and did the procedure. It was a lengthy u/s. It lasted at least 20 minutes, during which she told us I had a "beautiful uterus . . .just beuatiful". That was about the last good news we heard that day. She told me it looked like my blockage was in my right tube, not my left. I told her my ectopic was on the left side-- I was sure of it. She said she didn't see anything in my left tube, but the right side definitely had something in it, a mass of fluid.
After we completed the u/s, blood pressure, weight and height check, we sat in the waiting room . . . and sat. . . and finally I asked if we were going to have to wait another 30 minutes past our appointment time.
Eventually they took us back to see the new RE. He's an interesting guy. Kind of a smart-ass and not easily impressed--unless you have statistics to show him. He discussed my u/s photos with us. He began by telling me how I have a hydrosalpinx or "hydro" in my right tube. (See above: Third picture from the bottom on the left). Basically this means my right tube is most likely blocked from receiving follicles from my right ovary. Not only that, but he also said (and I have also read) that even though we "bypass" the tubes with an IVF, if this is not treated before the IVF procedure if can lessen the chances of getting pregnant from IVF. IN addition if I do become pregnant from IVF the "hyrdo" fluid my leak into my uterus (since the blockage won't let it out the other end like it is supposed to) and harm the developing fetus, causing miscarriage.
FUCKING GREAT.
He suggested I should (without actually saying "I need to") have another HSG to see if in fact fluid is getting through as it was in January. If there is no blockage, I should be fine. If there is a proven blockage, he said I need to have a laparoscopyto either clear the blockage or "better yet" remove the whole tube. . . . . . . What? Here is my Re's explanation of the process.
Not only do I not want to have any of my organs removed, go through another painful HSG (or pay for one), or have a painful laparoscopy procedure that can cost up to $27,000-- I don't have time time to even take off for any of these procedures! Especially the 2-3 weeks off he recommends after the lap! I am starting a new job at a school. Teachers can't just take weeks off.
This is insane. I just want to get to the point where we are making progress. I am sick of falling into a new hole every time I try and move onto the next step. I am sick, tired, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. I haven;t felt like myself since the beginning of JULY!
I feel depressed. For the first time in this whole journey, I feel like I'm losing hope. I don;t know if I can see the light at the end of this tunnel anymore. Before, I felt hopeful almost happy about the experience. Telling myself, "This will make me so much happier when we finally have our baby . . . blah, blah, blah."
Now, I'm not sure if we will ever have our own biological child.
On the way home from the RE apt, I told my DH, "Maybe we should just adopt."
And I was serious.
I'm not sure how much more disappointment I can take. I haven't even begun the IVF process and I'm already discouraged. That's not a good sign. I just want this so damn badly my head is making me think crazy. I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat the last few days. DH and I got into an argument the other day and I pretty much snapped. I really don't know if this is something an IF therapist is really going to make me feel any better about. Maybe the planned acupuncture will help?
All we can think to do is call my old RE and see if he will do an HSG with sedation. He had discussed with us on Aug 5th that we should do that if we wanted to continue with IUI's. He also said he gives patients some kind of pain relief (sedation, meds?) to help and he doesn't know why all doc's don't do that for the procedure. I agree completely. If he gives sedation with the procedure, I will have one with him and see if anything is blocked or not.
If it isn't blocked we move onto IVF at the new RE without a worry. Most likely doing the 100% money back plan.
If my tube or tubes are blocked we will try one IVF and FET cycle OOP (out of pocket without a "shared risk" plan) at the new RE hoping and praying to get a BPF and successful delivery.
If we do the IVF and FET cycle and no baby, . . .we will see what we want to do when we get to it. Perhaps a lap to remove the blockage/ hydro/ and possible endometriosis. Then, we hope to be able to try again.
I am somewhere around ovulation right now. I have one follicle (good size about 18+) on my left side. But I am afraid to try again "naturally". What if my fears are right and both tubes are shot? I don't think I could handle another ectopic pregnancy.
So I wait for AF to return for the first time since June. When she's here, I will have to do CD3 tests, and a possible HSG.
Good God, what have I gotten us into?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Heading out of town for babies?
Tomorrow, we have our first "Who the Hell are you?" and "Do we want to be here?" appointment with a new RE.
Our issue with the old RE has become more of a money issue. The prices are considerably lower for IVF at the clinic we will visit tomorrow. What I am concerned about is how many extra tests I will have to go through if we do change to the new place. I have no clue what I would have to do to qualify for their "100% back guarantee if you leave without a baby" plan.
Updates tomorrow!
Monday, August 16, 2010
AF, where are you?
I never thought I'd want AF to show up. But here I am, wishing she'd rear her ugly head.
My Re's office called today and said that they'd like to wait for AF before they do the CD3 tests that I need prior to IVF. Problem for me is that I have NO IDEA where in my cycle I am. I could be just starting, or somewhere in the middle . . . ? It's strange for me to have no clue where I am in my cycle after being so involved with every detail of it for the last year and a half. So I'll keep ya posted, I'm interested to see how this all pans out myself :)
Show up lady. . . SHOW YOURSELF!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Once I can chew again. . .
I've always been a fairly active person and I eat pretty well, especially as of late.
But I do think that my portion sizes are too big (even the good stuff) and that I need to actually commit to going to the gym and giving it my all 5-6 times a week instead of just talking about it.
My plan is actually quite simple in design:
1. Continue eating vegetarian--but remove more dairy, carbs, and sugar.
2. Get my A$$ in the gym at least 5 times a week. (Cardio everytime + weights every other). I may even begin a mini-training program for a half-marathon--MAYBE. It's on Halloween and I'm not sure there would be enough time to properly get in shape for it, but I gotta have a goal, right?
3. Loose the 20lbs you've been trying to loose before baby is inserted into uterus. (As I found out last time pregnancy can quickly cause your weight to stop decreasing and move towards the other side of the scale. . . ).
4. Get some acupuncture. I've heard more times than I can count, how valuable and important it can be in the IVF process. Getting it as much as possible before hand and once a week during the process, including right before and after ET (egg transfer).
Now I just have to plan on not getting admitted to the ER or having my teeth yanked out for a few weeks and I should be good.
This is always better said than done, but I have a lot riding on my health now. Big bucks are going to be spent on IVF. Whether we can have our own biological child could very well depend on how well I take care of myself over the next few months. Beginning a new job, moving and selling our house, etc. are all things giving me a lot of stress lately. So I'm hoping the acupuncture will help lessen how overwhelmed I'm feeling and the gym and eating habits will not only get the inside ready to go, but make the outside look damn good for baby holdin'.
I'll let you know when the teeth heal and I can start a movin'!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
ANOTHER beta in the AM.
I have yet another BETA in the morning.
However,
I am also having my wisdom teeth pulled about an hour later.
Yep. I know.
As if my life wasn't hospitalized enough. I now will have a pain in my mouth as well.
I most likely won't be able to post my BETA update for a couple of days--but who knows--maybe I'll be back and in tip-top shape before I know it! GOOD GOD WISH ME LUCK!
UPDATE:
My BETA from this morning, you know--before the TB test and wisdom teeth yank, is ---dah dah dah nah!!!!!
NEGATIVE!
My result was 0.7 !
This great news. "Friday the Thirteenth" actually turned out okay for me. (Wisdom teeth doing well, too.) I now can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When I (tried to) talked to the nurse on the phone today, she said how I might be able to have my CD3 test this weekend and begin birth control pills after that! Which would mean I could begin injections for IVF mid-September! CRAZY!
If that is not the plan, the other option would be to wait for AF to rear her ugly head and then do CD3 testing followed by BCP and IVF injects. Not sure what the timeline for that would be? The earliest we could start injects with that plan would be 2nd week in October?
Either way would be fine with me. I just need to wait and see what my RE says--AND I still need to meet with the "new RE".
I am just so excited the ectopic is over. I'll miss my first "Little Buddy", but this is the path we needed to take--I'm ready to move to the next step.
Monday, August 9, 2010
The BETA's continue. . . .
I had another BETA drawn Saturday. Today (Sunday) they called with the results. I am now down to 24. I should need at least one more BETA this Friday. Hopefully I am at ZERO, but that is wishful thinking. The numbers have dropped relatively fast, even though my beginning beta wasn’t that high.
I am now just getting antsy about starting IVF. I want to get going NOW but DH and I are in deep debate about with path to take and/or what to do once we have (fingers crossed) become pregnant. At least I picked a good one—DH and I agree on many things and, thankfully, this has been a pretty tame conversation.
I just wonder if I’ll be starting Birth Control Pills (BCP) in September, if my beta continues to drop. My guess is that I will be having the CD 3 (cycle day 3) tests no later than mid-September.
This is all assuming we stay with my current RE, which I am still not sure if that’s what I want to do. When I meet with the new guy on the 24th, we will all have a much better idea about what is going on and where we want to be.
Drop BETA, DROP!
I am now just getting antsy about starting IVF. I want to get going NOW but DH and I are in deep debate about with path to take and/or what to do once we have (fingers crossed) become pregnant. At least I picked a good one—DH and I agree on many things and, thankfully, this has been a pretty tame conversation.
I just wonder if I’ll be starting Birth Control Pills (BCP) in September, if my beta continues to drop. My guess is that I will be having the CD 3 (cycle day 3) tests no later than mid-September.
This is all assuming we stay with my current RE, which I am still not sure if that’s what I want to do. When I meet with the new guy on the 24th, we will all have a much better idea about what is going on and where we want to be.
Drop BETA, DROP!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
It's official--IVF time.
Today was the "What the fu@k happened" meeting with my RE.
There was a lot I got to discuss with him. Usually he acts like a dismissive "douchecanoe" (Word credit goes to a lady on my IF chat). I have never actually had a sit-down talk with him since our first consult meeting back in May. As I said then, I felt like he didn't treat us as an individual case and ignored all my concerns. However this time, I think he realized, at least a little, how this was now a real issue--I was NOT worrying without reason.
We discussed briefly how my left tube could now be compromised. He wanted to perform another HSG. This time using a sedative--he was surprised that my OB didn't use one at all. (I like hearing that!) We could then figure out if we wanted to clear out the tube (if it was possible) or remove the tube all together. As long as that went well, we'd do another IUI (#4). The problem is, that is if the issue is with my tubes, and perhaps in both, the chances of having another ectopic are pretty damn high. And we don't want to go through that again.
Then, I brought up the only other option. IVF.
He said he was just about to talk about that. A good sign. I had actually thought he'd think I was moving to fast into it, that I was too anxious. But--happy to hear, it seemed like that was the step he was thinking was the best option. Although IVF cannot totally rule out an ectopic pregnancy, it is a very small chance.
He went into many of the details about the process. I would begin on birth control pills either when AF had begun again or when my HcG was negative. (Making the beginning date possibly as early as sometime in September? YAY!)
But we'd have to wait for the methotrexate to completely clear my system, the HcG to be zero or less, and (optionally) AF to begin. He said my current nausea, headaches, exhaustion, aches, pains, and general sickly-ness will not go away until these things have all occurred--possibly another 3-4 weeks! BAH to that!
Anyways, after clarifying how IVF works (more on that as time get closer-- It'll be easier to explain when I know my timeline) I asked about the "cysts" the radiologist had seen and my "inverted uterus". My RE said the cysts we probably just from the follicles I had during pregnancy. The uterus is pretty common. No different than being left handed instead or right.
So now the biggest decision we have to make is what financial plan will we agree on. They are very different and have many different (unknown) possible outcomes. Not to mention we still have not met with the new RE in IL.
The biggest deciding factors are: (I hope this makes sense...)
The packaged plan includes 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET's (Frozen embryo transfers). However, if I have extra embryos left over after the FET's WHY NOT JUST USE THOSE AGAIN??? The plan only covers one FET per cycle (Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET). But If they harvest and successfully grow more than they put in, they would just freeze them and make me go through a whole new cycle-- $3000 worth of meds and all when they could just try again with another round of FET with the remaining embryos. It just seems stupid to me to go through more money, more painful ER (Egg retrievals), and go under anesthesia again when they could just use the eggs they already have!
Furthermore, if I don't get pregnant until the third IVF cycle, I could have a HUGE number of embryos just SITTING in the deep freeze! What do we do with them then?!?!? My RE says he'd only like to put in ONE embryo at a time (at least for the first round). I could potentially have dozens of frosty babies left over! DH and I have always talked about having only TWO kids. What happens if we have twins? What do we do? What if we have one and then use the "frozens" for FET later down the road for another child--and STILL have tons left over????
I know I'm jumping the gun and thinking of a happy scenario where we get pregnant. But I need to think about ALL the possibilities before we move forward with this.
I know there are many other factors surrounding this. Including what to do with the embryos that could possibly be left over. Donate them to couples? To stem cell research? "Destroy" them? Freeze them until I'm 45? We are at a loss right now. There is a lot of talking that needs to be done before we more ahead with this. Luckily--looks like we've got some time.
ANY SUGGESTIONS? Experiences???
There was a lot I got to discuss with him. Usually he acts like a dismissive "douchecanoe" (Word credit goes to a lady on my IF chat). I have never actually had a sit-down talk with him since our first consult meeting back in May. As I said then, I felt like he didn't treat us as an individual case and ignored all my concerns. However this time, I think he realized, at least a little, how this was now a real issue--I was NOT worrying without reason.
We discussed briefly how my left tube could now be compromised. He wanted to perform another HSG. This time using a sedative--he was surprised that my OB didn't use one at all. (I like hearing that!) We could then figure out if we wanted to clear out the tube (if it was possible) or remove the tube all together. As long as that went well, we'd do another IUI (#4). The problem is, that is if the issue is with my tubes, and perhaps in both, the chances of having another ectopic are pretty damn high. And we don't want to go through that again.
Then, I brought up the only other option. IVF.
He said he was just about to talk about that. A good sign. I had actually thought he'd think I was moving to fast into it, that I was too anxious. But--happy to hear, it seemed like that was the step he was thinking was the best option. Although IVF cannot totally rule out an ectopic pregnancy, it is a very small chance.
He went into many of the details about the process. I would begin on birth control pills either when AF had begun again or when my HcG was negative. (Making the beginning date possibly as early as sometime in September? YAY!)
But we'd have to wait for the methotrexate to completely clear my system, the HcG to be zero or less, and (optionally) AF to begin. He said my current nausea, headaches, exhaustion, aches, pains, and general sickly-ness will not go away until these things have all occurred--possibly another 3-4 weeks! BAH to that!
Anyways, after clarifying how IVF works (more on that as time get closer-- It'll be easier to explain when I know my timeline) I asked about the "cysts" the radiologist had seen and my "inverted uterus". My RE said the cysts we probably just from the follicles I had during pregnancy. The uterus is pretty common. No different than being left handed instead or right.
So now the biggest decision we have to make is what financial plan will we agree on. They are very different and have many different (unknown) possible outcomes. Not to mention we still have not met with the new RE in IL.
The biggest deciding factors are: (I hope this makes sense...)
The packaged plan includes 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET's (Frozen embryo transfers). However, if I have extra embryos left over after the FET's WHY NOT JUST USE THOSE AGAIN??? The plan only covers one FET per cycle (Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET). But If they harvest and successfully grow more than they put in, they would just freeze them and make me go through a whole new cycle-- $3000 worth of meds and all when they could just try again with another round of FET with the remaining embryos. It just seems stupid to me to go through more money, more painful ER (Egg retrievals), and go under anesthesia again when they could just use the eggs they already have!
Furthermore, if I don't get pregnant until the third IVF cycle, I could have a HUGE number of embryos just SITTING in the deep freeze! What do we do with them then?!?!? My RE says he'd only like to put in ONE embryo at a time (at least for the first round). I could potentially have dozens of frosty babies left over! DH and I have always talked about having only TWO kids. What happens if we have twins? What do we do? What if we have one and then use the "frozens" for FET later down the road for another child--and STILL have tons left over????
I know I'm jumping the gun and thinking of a happy scenario where we get pregnant. But I need to think about ALL the possibilities before we move forward with this.
I know there are many other factors surrounding this. Including what to do with the embryos that could possibly be left over. Donate them to couples? To stem cell research? "Destroy" them? Freeze them until I'm 45? We are at a loss right now. There is a lot of talking that needs to be done before we more ahead with this. Luckily--looks like we've got some time.
ANY SUGGESTIONS? Experiences???
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Well, that figures.
I'm going to try and make this as short as possible:
Sunday night I began getting very strong sudden cramps in what felt like my "cervical areas". It started around 8:30pm. I tried to lay in bed to relax. It didn't make anything better. My cramps continued to get worse and closer together. They were like spasms that came between 1-5 minutes apart. I felt like I was having contractions and my cervix was dilating!
At this time, my DH was at a movie with one of our friends. He got home around 10pm and came up to check on me. I told him I'd be okay and that I'd just take another vicodin and try to sleep it off.
Well, about an hour later, he came upstairs after our friend left. I spent the next 2 hours squeezing his hand off. The pain came in waves. It was quite significant. Hovering around a 5 or 6 at the low times and jumping up to 8 and 9 during the spasm. The 2 vicodin weren't even taking the edge off.
DH had finally had enough after 1am. He forced me to go to the ER. I was not happy. I didn't want to go. I was petrified that they would force me into having another pelvic exam and even worse another ultrasound.
Once in the car my cramping temporarily got better only to jump right back as we got closer. DH and I tried to just walk it off a bit before going in. But I finally gave in.
We checked in at the front and then were promptly taken back for the usual blood pressure, temperature, and info gathering. Thankfully, because of my pain level and the shorter wait time, I was able to go straight back into a room.
I changed into the gown and tried to get comfortable. An extremely friendly male nurse came in. He took my blood samples (about 6 of them) and hooked me up for an IV. I really liked this guy. He was one of the better nurses we have ever had there. He began by asking me about why I came in and the whole story. But before, he told us how sorry he was for the ectopic pregnancy. It didn't feel like a routine "I have to say this" kind of apology. We could tell he truly meant it. It was very nice to hear at that moment.
Most of the events that happened after that are a blur. We were so tired (it was now early Monday morning) and the nurse got them to let me have a dose of morphine (4mg) before they did anything else. SO I was a bit loopy.
What I can recall is the doctor finally coming in. I re-explained everything to her. After about 10 minutes of talking it all over, she said she needed to do a pelvic exam and possible ultrasound.
YOU ARE SHITTING ME.
I was not happy. Now I was really pissed at my DH for making me come in. I didn't want to be, but I was. She left and went to get things set up for the pelvic exam. Are you kidding me?!?!? I'm bleeding down there! I'm in massive amounts of pain! And you want to go poking around!?!?! I was really upset.
I told the nurse when he came back in that the pelvic was fine, but there was no way in Hell, I was doing the ultrasound. No way. Seriously.
The doctor came back in for the exam. I hate that damn process. She was poking around for a while and apparently found out I was right! Holy crap-o. My cervix was dilating. It was that pain I was feeling. (Apparently I now know what it feels like to go into labor!)
It is also what happens when a woman is having a miscarriage. My body was simply trying to get rid of the pregnancy and all the "stuff" inside.
While continuing to explore around she called in the head OB doctor to look at something suspicious on my cervix.
So here I am, open for the world to see and she brings in some other guy to check it out. Fun times. He tried to say "Hi" to my DH and I. I told him I'd have to shake his hand later.
They decided to remove the piece of suspicious tissue and send it to the lab. Hopefully, we'll find out what that was in a few days.
She then said that I might need a ultrasound. I flat out told her I wasn't having one. My awesome nurse backed me up. I heart him. :) She said, "okay, your choice".
They came back later with some results from my blood tests. Apparently my HcG had dropped to 92. So the u/s wouldn't even be needed. --This of course didn't matter to me because I wasn't doing it anyways. :) She then said I was pretty much free to leave.
I had one more dose of morphine before they removed the IV. Then, we were on our way. Groggy, but on the way home. We were so glad to find nothing horribly wrong (other than a lot of pain) and to be on the way home--to sleep.
I've been feeling extremely tired and still crampy for the last few days. Not quite myself yet. DH and I fear what might happen next weekend. Hopefully not another trip to the ER. I'm sick of seeing that place.
This Thursday, I have a follow up with my current RE. I haven't seen or talked to him since the IUI July 1st. I will talk to him about my ectopic, the last ER visit, and what he thinks we should do next.
DH and I will have to carefully consider what he says. On the 24th I see my possible new RE in IL. A longer drive for sure but if I'm going to have better care, it's worth it.
Phew. Hopefully this is a quiet week.
Sunday night I began getting very strong sudden cramps in what felt like my "cervical areas". It started around 8:30pm. I tried to lay in bed to relax. It didn't make anything better. My cramps continued to get worse and closer together. They were like spasms that came between 1-5 minutes apart. I felt like I was having contractions and my cervix was dilating!
At this time, my DH was at a movie with one of our friends. He got home around 10pm and came up to check on me. I told him I'd be okay and that I'd just take another vicodin and try to sleep it off.
Well, about an hour later, he came upstairs after our friend left. I spent the next 2 hours squeezing his hand off. The pain came in waves. It was quite significant. Hovering around a 5 or 6 at the low times and jumping up to 8 and 9 during the spasm. The 2 vicodin weren't even taking the edge off.
DH had finally had enough after 1am. He forced me to go to the ER. I was not happy. I didn't want to go. I was petrified that they would force me into having another pelvic exam and even worse another ultrasound.
Once in the car my cramping temporarily got better only to jump right back as we got closer. DH and I tried to just walk it off a bit before going in. But I finally gave in.
We checked in at the front and then were promptly taken back for the usual blood pressure, temperature, and info gathering. Thankfully, because of my pain level and the shorter wait time, I was able to go straight back into a room.
I changed into the gown and tried to get comfortable. An extremely friendly male nurse came in. He took my blood samples (about 6 of them) and hooked me up for an IV. I really liked this guy. He was one of the better nurses we have ever had there. He began by asking me about why I came in and the whole story. But before, he told us how sorry he was for the ectopic pregnancy. It didn't feel like a routine "I have to say this" kind of apology. We could tell he truly meant it. It was very nice to hear at that moment.
Most of the events that happened after that are a blur. We were so tired (it was now early Monday morning) and the nurse got them to let me have a dose of morphine (4mg) before they did anything else. SO I was a bit loopy.
What I can recall is the doctor finally coming in. I re-explained everything to her. After about 10 minutes of talking it all over, she said she needed to do a pelvic exam and possible ultrasound.
YOU ARE SHITTING ME.
I was not happy. Now I was really pissed at my DH for making me come in. I didn't want to be, but I was. She left and went to get things set up for the pelvic exam. Are you kidding me?!?!? I'm bleeding down there! I'm in massive amounts of pain! And you want to go poking around!?!?! I was really upset.
I told the nurse when he came back in that the pelvic was fine, but there was no way in Hell, I was doing the ultrasound. No way. Seriously.
The doctor came back in for the exam. I hate that damn process. She was poking around for a while and apparently found out I was right! Holy crap-o. My cervix was dilating. It was that pain I was feeling. (Apparently I now know what it feels like to go into labor!)
It is also what happens when a woman is having a miscarriage. My body was simply trying to get rid of the pregnancy and all the "stuff" inside.
While continuing to explore around she called in the head OB doctor to look at something suspicious on my cervix.
So here I am, open for the world to see and she brings in some other guy to check it out. Fun times. He tried to say "Hi" to my DH and I. I told him I'd have to shake his hand later.
They decided to remove the piece of suspicious tissue and send it to the lab. Hopefully, we'll find out what that was in a few days.
She then said that I might need a ultrasound. I flat out told her I wasn't having one. My awesome nurse backed me up. I heart him. :) She said, "okay, your choice".
They came back later with some results from my blood tests. Apparently my HcG had dropped to 92. So the u/s wouldn't even be needed. --This of course didn't matter to me because I wasn't doing it anyways. :) She then said I was pretty much free to leave.
I had one more dose of morphine before they removed the IV. Then, we were on our way. Groggy, but on the way home. We were so glad to find nothing horribly wrong (other than a lot of pain) and to be on the way home--to sleep.
I've been feeling extremely tired and still crampy for the last few days. Not quite myself yet. DH and I fear what might happen next weekend. Hopefully not another trip to the ER. I'm sick of seeing that place.
This Thursday, I have a follow up with my current RE. I haven't seen or talked to him since the IUI July 1st. I will talk to him about my ectopic, the last ER visit, and what he thinks we should do next.
DH and I will have to carefully consider what he says. On the 24th I see my possible new RE in IL. A longer drive for sure but if I'm going to have better care, it's worth it.
Phew. Hopefully this is a quiet week.
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