8 weeks. Let's start some stats!

Yesterday, marked 8 weeks pregnant.  (Cue the "ute goggles").   I am still walking around in shock-- especially since no one really knows yet.  The principal at DH's school has known about our process so he could take time off.   My OB knows of course, but that's pretty much it.  

I made a few upcoming appointments for the boys and I.  I made a follow up allergy appointment for the boys in February (I'm still hoping the dairy allergy will disappear).  I also made a few upcoming OBGYN appointments for myself.  It should be about every 4 weeks until 30 weeks.  The next appointment is for the nuchal screening in February.  One week later, I will see the OBGYN to discuss the results and see if any further testing is needed.  March 21 is another general OBGYN check-up and all the way in April is the 20-week ultrasound.  That should be the latest we would know the gender of the baby-- YES, we are finding out.

Now, I give you....

Current stats:
Weight Gain: About the same, maybe 1 or 2 pounds.
Cravings:  Malts from Culvers, salads, sandwiches (veggie subs with cheese), oatmeal cookies.
Nauseous: Not really much.  Just a twinge every now and then. Exhausted more than anything.
Belly touches: Just DH.
Feeling: Some RLP if I move too suddenly and usually complete exhaustion.  I fell asleep watching 'Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood' with the boys today.  Although I am not at a paying job, staying home with the twins all day has proved to be much more exhausting.   My neck has also been 'jacked up' since Monday.  The right side has been extremely painful/uncomfortable.  It doesn't help that I cannot take any serious pain meds for it or my cold either.  Lastly, I have horrible acne everywhere on my face and neck.  WTH.  Currently, I'm going to start a search for a better facial product to help with it.
Boy or girl:  DH thinks it's a girl, "he just knows".  I'm unsure.  I don't think I would prefer one over the other after thinking of all of the benefits.
Emotional state:  I am very tired and very cranky.  I feel a bit depressed a lot of times.  Not being on Zoloft for the last several (6+) months has started to wear on me.  I'm worried that we've bit off more than we can chew.  

Then, I realize that the NICU, twins, PPD, etc have all made me gun-shy (for lack of a better term) about what things could/ would be like.  It won't be easy, but I'm trying to remind myself that only one of the three kids will be under 3 years old when DH goes back to work.   That makes it easier, right???

18 weeks preggo with TWO BOYS!

My bad, everyone.

I had intended to post on Sunday after we had told everyone and I could make a weekly update. But with the Open House, every day showings and constant cleaning before and after--not to mention hunting down the cats to take in the car for our hour+ wait-- I have not had the time. I can only imagine what this will be like hen we have the dang kids-- Oh did I mention-- they're both BOYS.

Holy cow, eh?

DH and I were convinced we had one of each in there. No idea why we thought that, but we did. Perhaps it was because our perinatologist was so sure one of them was a boy back at 12 weeks and didn't know on the other one yet. Clearly, Baby A was not cooperating then--and still wasn't at the last check-up.

We had a LONG ultrasound with not the nicest tech doing it. At one point she actually said, "This baby is not nice at all." Umm. Excuse me. Perhaps you're the one who can't do their job-- babies are babies--they do whatever the Hell they want.

Anyways, We got to see the two again and despite Baby A's awkward position (they were right on top of one another-- each head next to the other's feet) we got some pretty good 3-D photos of them. (Soon to come when DH scans them for me).

What was a little concerning is that Baby A's placenta is on my cervix. Not completely covering the whole thing, but enough that the Doctor put me on "pelvic rest" until we see some change. Her hope is that as the uterus expands it will continue to move away from the cervix and not more onto it. Yeah, lets hope. A placenta previa will put me on bedrest for sure!

In other news-- I hate going to OB appointments. They are completely pointless when you have a perinatologist. I go in and pay to have her find the heart beats for two seconds and then leave. Why do I waste my time and money for that? Within a few days I see the specialist and get the king of all thorough ultrasounds. So someone please explain to me what the point is. I am a lost and confused preggo lady.

The babies look pretty good from what I can tell. Baby A had a heartbeat of 153 b/m and weighed about 8 ounces. Baby B's heart rate was 142 b/m and weighed about 7 ounces.

Now for my weekly stats.

Weight Gain: About 8 pounds now. I seem to be gaining 2-3 pounds per week. I feel like that is a lot. My books say at my weight I only need to gain 1-1.5 pounds per week. So I am going to try and be even more careful about what I'm putting in.

Here's my belly at 18 weeks. . .

Cravings: Teas, Cheetos puffs (although I haven't had any), gazpacho.

Nauseous: Just the occasional one when I begin to eat in the AM.

Belly touches: DH, friend, fellow art teacher and my Uncle Joe talked right to them on Friday when we told him and my Dad they are two boys. (My Dad is an identical twin). His twin Brother, My Uncle, is crazy mind you-- doesn't everyone have at least one crazy Uncle? He pretty much grabbed my belly and yells something like, "Hey babies! We are gonna part-aayy!"

Feeling: Good Lord. The right side is still driving me nuts. I also don't feel that "Second trimester burst of energy" that people talk about. Yes, I am less nauseous, but I certainly don;t feel like my old self. Maybe it's a multiples thing.

Boy or girl: Sorry, no blue cake to reveal. We decided against it since my parents couldn't come on the same day as DH's parents. We ended up telling them both separately, which was totally fine. I am pretty sure DH's Mom wanted at least one girl, but I'm sure she'll get over it.

Emotional state: Up and down. I feel kinda bummed sometimes--but I think it's mostly because I am bored. I'd love to clean this house from top to bottom and decorate the nursery--but I can't. Not on;y do I not have the energy, but our hope is that we will sell this place and find a new home with a much better room and layout. So there isn't much point in becoming too invested or involved in designing one here until we know for sure that we have to stay put.

Movement: I feel sudden pains and jolts but nothing I can say is for sure a baby movement.

Maternity clothes: My new maternity swim suits are pretty sweet! I got both of these from 'A Pea in the Pod' on sale.

Nesting: Again. Awaiting our house sale for most of it. However, I did organize the downstairs closet on what used to be my office. It now holds all of our baby things. I could stand in there at stare at it all damn day.

Baby purchases: Oh geeze. DH and I had a Kohls shopping marathon last Friday after we knew they were two Boys. We pretty much bought everything in the store that we wanted--getting quite a few things on clearance. In addition, we went rummaging that same day and found a lot of new things for super cheap. Since then I have looked in the clearance of every baby store buying the good deals. I have also washed each item, bought blue velvet hangers and size separator tags to use in the closet.

My problem now is trying not to boy every cute piece of clothing I see that is on sale or clearance. But MAN! It's so hard not to now that we now there are two little Boys coming this Fall!

BETA #2 IN!

So take a BETA guess. . . "500," you say? . . . Higher.

"700?" . . . Higher.

"1000?" . . . HIGHER.

1346!!!

Yeah, I can't believe it either! I was hoping for 500!!! Wowza! Both progesterone and estrogen are looking great, too!

So now what? . . . we wait. Another 2ww until the first Ultrasound on April 8th. We will be a little over 6 1/2 weeks. O.M.G. Is this for real???

Until then we will be on pins and needles, trying to be healthy and not gain a bunch of unnecessary weight eating crapola. So tonight, to celebrate, DH and I are going to Red Robin :) LOL. No seriously, we are! Red Robin is the only place I can order a Salmon salad and eat it without gaging. Sounds crazy, I know. They have the BEST blackened salmon salad EVA!

After dinner, DH and I are going to Barnes and Noble to buy a new "baby journal".

Ah yes, the life I've dreamed of. I am waiting until about 6 weeks to make a ticker. (I don't want to jinx it). We are also waiting until Mid-May (11-12 weeks) before we tell people.

*Sigh*

I'll have to begin my registry in secret! :) 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant. . . and counting. . .

BETA #2 tomorrow.

Getting up at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow morning so I can have BETA #2 drawn before work. DH and I will go in and have the blood drawn and then go our separate ways to work.

I have yet to decide if I will check my messages right away and call him at lunch OR if I will wait until he gets home. Tricky thing is I'd have to call them back and tell them to leave a message with the results because DH won't be home by the time they close tomorrow. Hmmm. . . what to do???

Either way I won't be able to update until after work. AND I'm going to have to find of the results at work or wait all day starring at my phone.

Hoping for at least a 500 BETA. Wish me luck!!! Double vibes and Sticky babies!!!

Frosties on board!!!

SNOWBABIES! FROSTIES! SNOWFLAKES!!!

These are our two blastocysts currently residing in the ute. DH is typing this for me right now (Hi everybody!) since I am currently on day two and a half of self-ordered bed rest.

The FET was on 3-11-11 at 11:45 -- suppose to be at 11:45. To make a long story short the time the actual FET took place was 12:35 PM. When the RE finally came in he said that we had two embryos ready to go. I asked if these were the two highest quality blasts that were suppose to be thawed as discussed with the nurses several times before the FET. So, I questioned, since things often go wrong, "Is our 6AA one of the two?" Our smart ass RE quickly replied, "You don't have a 6AA embryo." I said, "Uh, yes we do. The nurses told me about the 6AA several times and I've seen the paper work. They were also suppose to unthaw the highest quality embryos first." He then, in an attempt to prove that he was right, because he never thinks he is wrong, told the embryo techs to give him the papers back and, lo and behold, I was right. As I knew I was because I had seen the papers a bazillion times before.

What happened next is something I question to this very moment. Instead of admitting that they made a mistake it seemed like he was doing nothing other than covering his own ass. He babbled on about something to do with the 6AA not being the best embryo, blah, blah, blah. This of course to me is ironic since he had no knowledge that we even had a 6AA embryo a few seconds ago. Also, ironic that they have a grading system that means nothing.

So, what's inside the ute currently? A 5BB and a 4BB... I think.

I felt like from that point he was more agitated than anything and he felt like having a conversation about the crappy governor and bad excuse for a repair bill that is screwing Wisconsin since my husband and I are both teachers. A 15% pay cut is not exactly the best stress reliever during and FET procedure. Especially when the RE lives in a different state and has no idea what he's talking about... again.

To add to this awesomeness, the two nurses running the ultrasound machines couldn't even find the freaking uterus on the screen. They actually had to switch jobs at one point.

So, the moral of my story, the RE office was clearly not on its "A" game. I was the only FET that day and the last appointment. I was the only one in the back office and I could tell I was not their top priority. This PISSES ME OFF. But, I'm suppose to be calm, right?

So, right now I'm trying to ignore the stupidity of nurses on cell phones and people that can't do their jobs, when I'm doing way more than my part.

So, how do I make myself feel better about this whole situation? I ask for FET success stories on the chat. I look at my clinics success rates, which are clearly good for IVF, but not as hot for FET, and make DH prepare mac and cheese for this afternoon.

In other news, one of my blasts had hatched before FET. Kinda cool, huh? If you see the top picture, part of its goo is spilling out of its shell. Statistics say, this Wednesday, 3-16, would be the last day for implantation to occur. I am really going to try hard to do absolutely nothing until Thursday morning despite the fact that I have to go to work everyday this week. How am I going to do this? I have no clue. I'll let you know how it goes.

CD 3 tests today.

Today was baseline and another snow storm in Milwaukee. . . and all the way to the RE.

At the RE, I had my blood drawn, blood pressure tested (109/71) and had the "good 'ol" vaginal u/s during AF-- I hate that.

We also paid the remaining $2,500 bucks for the FET cycle. This gives us a grand total of $2,900 for the cycle and another $300-500 for the meds. (FET= $3,100-3,300...not including lost pay for missing work).

This is why I argued for transferring three embryos if one of the first two doesn't survive the thaw.

Here's the scenario in a nutshell:

• We plan to thaw two of our four remaining embryos. (6AA, (5BB?, 4BB?), 3BC)
• We would like to thaw the two highest embryos first; 6AA and 5??
• If both survive the thaw, we will but both in and there ends the story.

Where this gets tricky. . . .So if we thaw the best two and ONE doesn't survive the thaw, we will need to thaw another of our remaining two embryos to have TWO thawed to deposit during the FET. Sounds fine, right?

• Not if I think about my one low-quality embryo left just sitting in the deep freeze.
• If one doesn't survive the thaw in the beginning-- I prefer to just automatically thaw the other two at the same time and put whatever survives in. (A possibility of three).

My reasoning is NOT to create triplets. Triplets are a higher risk for both Mom and babies--not to mention financially afterwards. My reasoning is that one low-quality embryo has a very small chance of making it either way. Why leave it in the freeze--keep paying for it-- and then either never use it or pay the almost $3500 for another FET cycle for just one "not-so-good" embryo? To me, I rather use it, giving the best chance now. The chance of all three surviving is ridiculously slim--not impossible--but slim.

My hope it to give us the best chance possible with what we have.

Saying that, what DH and I really want is TWO PERFECTLY thawed, thriving embryos right away-- leaving two more in the bank--just in case. After all, we could use them after the little one(s) arrives from FET#1!

MED CHANGE:

• Lupron moved from 10 units to 5 units daily.
• Aspirin and vitamins still going strong.
• Add estrogen patches: One patch today through 2/9. Then two patches through 2/12. Then FOUR every 72 hours until 10-15 weeks of pregnancy--CRAZY THINGS!!!

Next Appointment is a blood work and ultrasound check-up on 2.23.11.

In other news: GO PACK GO!!!!

LUPRON!

Piece of cake.

Ten units down. It occurred to me today, as I was struggling to unwrap the Lupron package, what a LONG and drawn out ordeal this all is.

I feel like I was just taking Lupron for the IVF cycle . . . and now here I am again beginning Lupron for another cycle--this time, FET.

I have so much respect for couples who have done this three, four, five and even six+ times!

I have been through many cycles myself--but it is an entirely different thing when you are dealing with IVF/FET and a table FULL of medications and shots that you run your life around everyday.

I know I can and will do this-- I am just not looking forward to another round of headaches. . . damn Lupron!

The Meds are here-- Ovulation--not so much.

THE MEDS HAVE ARRIVED!

After waiting going on three months since the last ectopic I can finally begin again!

Here's the inventory and some general information on the meds I am taking for the upcoming FET cycle:

Lupron or "Luprolide Acetate" is a Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone Agonist (GnRH agonist).

Overstimulates the pituitary gland (which controls ovaries) causing LH and FSH to stop being produced--delaying ovulation until time for the FET/IVF or another ART procedure. It controls the time of ovulation so that the FET may be done at a precise time using the HcG trigger.

This is the first drug I will begin 8 days after ovulation--if it ever comes. I will take 10 units subcutaneous every night. (Along with the good 'ol Baby Aspirin). I will take this everyday until right before the FET. This stuff tends to give most people the horrible "Lupron headaches", mood-swings, and general crabbiness.

Estrogen. "Estradiol" Three 0.1mg Patches every three days or pills 2mg. (I haven't decided yet).

Stored at room temperature.

Other than the female parts, Estrogen controls the growth of follicles and uterine lining.

I begin taking the estrogen after the next period's day 3 test results.

I hate the damn patches. But after reading so much about how dangerous the pills can be after an extended period of time I am afraid to take those too. I'm pretty sure I am allergic (or at least very sensitive) to the adhesive on the patches, but a rash may be better than heart disease.

Side effects of the patches: Stickiness.

Progesterone in oil. (Sesame Oil, Cotton seed oil, etc.) "PIO".

Usually produced by the ovaries after ovulation, also produced by the placenta once pregnant.

4-6 days prior to the FET I begin to take PIO-- although I'm not sure how much yet. What I know is that these needles are much bigger than the tiny Lupron needles; stuck right into my ass once a day.

Tetracycline. 250 mg pills. 1 pill 4x/day.

Taken about the same time as PIO, right before the FET.

Antibiotic used to treat any infection before transfer, stopped a day or two before. Commonly used for many infections including acne--in my past. No biggie.

Medrol or "Methylprednisolone" 16 mg pill. 1x/ day before bed.

Begin about the same time as PIO, right before the FET. Last pill is taken the night of the FET.

Said to help with pre-embryo implantation.

HcG or "Pregnyl". 10,000 units. One time.

Does not need to be refrigerated, until opened.

Used to "trigger" ovulation as I would if I needed to use the eggs. It makes the body "release" and simulate the same hormones at a specific time. Not everyone does this for FET's but my RE thinks it is best. It also helps increase the lining of the ute. For FET I take this at the same time I give the first PIO shot. Yes, MANY things begin with the start of PIO. It's a long day of poking.

Prometrium. 200mg capsule.

Progesterone product, used to help relax the uterus before the transfer.

Inserted vaginally--yes, you heard it right. The morning of the FET the capsule is inserted high into the vagina. After insertion lay flat for at least 1/2 an hour.

***********************

Phew!

I hope that was somewhat informative-- and after all of that I am still learning myself.

However, until I ovulate I can't begin ANY of these medications. Good lord.

I really hope that the lap has not effected my ovaries. I am on CD 14 today and still nothing. This is unusual for me. I usually ovulate on days 11-13. On Thursday-- I will begin to panic. Until then, I will try to breathe and relax.

TTFN!

Ready to get the follow up.

Jesus of Nazareth.

I got AF a few days ago and she came with a furry from Hell.

If I am to die from this blood loss, please remember me fondly.

I am interested to meet with the surgeon (partner of my usual RE) on Monday to see what the results were from the surgery. To here first hand from him what he thought and how I'm doing now.

The tinges and pains are getting less. One vicodin was all I needed to relieve the cramps on Wednesday. That was a surprise seeing as that it followed the surgery.

My next thoughts turn towards the upcoming FET. When I will begin the process is unsure until I meet with my actual RE. I'm hoping the surgeon can give me some idea. 8 weeks exactly will be February 16th. But I wonder if they will need to get rolling with the schedule before that since I am also due for my next visit from AF the beginning of February. Perhaps they will wait until the following cycle if they plan on using BCP???

The FET thing is new for me despite all the IVF things I've gone through. What I do know is that it will be much easier and shorter than the UVF cycle--hopefully also with better results!

In other news, I am on day 6 of my cleanse. I am down 8.8 pounds as of this morning. I find it hard to believe that I enjoy getting up a few minutes earlier every morning to have one of my smoothies--but I think it could be the novelty of using my brand new vitamix. It's pretty sweet!

My goal was to lose 10 pounds per month getting me down to my goal of 30 pounds by April.

At this pace it would be this month--but being realistic-- the first few pounds always fly off--it keeping them off and getting down to the real fat that takes the time.

NEW GOALS:

January: Lose 15.8 pounds. Down to 165 by February 1st. (I need to lose 7 more pounds in 3 weeks).

February: Lose 7 pounds. Down to 158-- my lowest point during last year.

March: Lose 8 pounds. Down to 150-- a weight I haven't seen in almost 10 years!

It's going to be hard.

Going back onto medications for the FET will cause my body to go a little crazy.

More bed-rest for the FET, school work increasing, not being able to workout from the surgery/FET. . . and sticking to the vegan, low-carb, low-sugar cleanse. . . . for three months. . . that is worth some serious clothes shopping!

*** The day I fit into my size 8 skirt I bought a few months ago-- I'll throw a party. I bought it a size too small because it was cute and on clearance, thinking I'd lose a few more pounds instead of gaining 15. When that happens, I'll post a pic.

Until then I'll continue to get the body healthy and in shape for baby-growing. Because really, that is the goal, people. That is the goal.

Keep track of my weight loss on the ticker to the right of my page below my IF history. I update it everyday. Start your own ticker here.

It's official--IVF time.

Today was the "What the fu@k happened" meeting with my RE.

There was a lot I got to discuss with him. Usually he acts like a dismissive "douchecanoe" (Word credit goes to a lady on my IF chat). I have never actually had a sit-down talk with him since our first consult meeting back in May. As I said then, I felt like he didn't treat us as an individual case and ignored all my concerns. However this time, I think he realized, at least a little, how this was now a real issue--I was NOT worrying without reason.

We discussed briefly how my left tube could now be compromised. He wanted to perform another HSG. This time using a sedative--he was surprised that my OB didn't use one at all. (I like hearing that!) We could then figure out if we wanted to clear out the tube (if it was possible) or remove the tube all together. As long as that went well, we'd do another IUI (#4). The problem is, that is if the issue is with my tubes, and perhaps in both, the chances of having another ectopic are pretty damn high. And we don't want to go through that again.

Then, I brought up the only other option. IVF.

He said he was just about to talk about that. A good sign. I had actually thought he'd think I was moving to fast into it, that I was too anxious. But--happy to hear, it seemed like that was the step he was thinking was the best option. Although IVF cannot totally rule out an ectopic pregnancy, it is a very small chance.

He went into many of the details about the process. I would begin on birth control pills either when AF had begun again or when my HcG was negative. (Making the beginning date possibly as early as sometime in September? YAY!)

But we'd have to wait for the methotrexate to completely clear my system, the HcG to be zero or less, and (optionally) AF to begin. He said my current nausea, headaches, exhaustion, aches, pains, and general sickly-ness will not go away until these things have all occurred--possibly another 3-4 weeks! BAH to that!

Anyways, after clarifying how IVF works (more on that as time get closer-- It'll be easier to explain when I know my timeline) I asked about the "cysts" the radiologist had seen and my "inverted uterus". My RE said the cysts we probably just from the follicles I had during pregnancy. The uterus is pretty common. No different than being left handed instead or right.

So now the biggest decision we have to make is what financial plan will we agree on. They are very different and have many different (unknown) possible outcomes. Not to mention we still have not met with the new RE in IL.

The biggest deciding factors are: (I hope this makes sense...)

The packaged plan includes 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET's (Frozen embryo transfers). However, if I have extra embryos left over after the FET's WHY NOT JUST USE THOSE AGAIN??? The plan only covers one FET per cycle (Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET). But If they harvest and successfully grow more than they put in, they would just freeze them and make me go through a whole new cycle-- $3000 worth of meds and all when they could just try again with another round of FET with the remaining embryos. It just seems stupid to me to go through more money, more painful ER (Egg retrievals), and go under anesthesia again when they could just use the eggs they already have!

Furthermore, if I don't get pregnant until the third IVF cycle, I could have a HUGE number of embryos just SITTING in the deep freeze! What do we do with them then?!?!? My RE says he'd only like to put in ONE embryo at a time (at least for the first round). I could potentially have dozens of frosty babies left over! DH and I have always talked about having only TWO kids. What happens if we have twins? What do we do? What if we have one and then use the "frozens" for FET later down the road for another child--and STILL have tons left over????

I know I'm jumping the gun and thinking of a happy scenario where we get pregnant. But I need to think about ALL the possibilities before we move forward with this.


I know there are many other factors surrounding this. Including what to do with the embryos that could possibly be left over. Donate them to couples? To stem cell research? "Destroy" them? Freeze them until I'm 45? We are at a loss right now. There is a lot of talking that needs to be done before we more ahead with this. Luckily--looks like we've got some time.

ANY SUGGESTIONS? Experiences???