CD 3 tests today.

Today was baseline and another snow storm in Milwaukee. . . and all the way to the RE.

At the RE, I had my blood drawn, blood pressure tested (109/71) and had the "good 'ol" vaginal u/s during AF-- I hate that.

We also paid the remaining $2,500 bucks for the FET cycle. This gives us a grand total of $2,900 for the cycle and another $300-500 for the meds. (FET= $3,100-3,300...not including lost pay for missing work).

This is why I argued for transferring three embryos if one of the first two doesn't survive the thaw.

Here's the scenario in a nutshell:

• We plan to thaw two of our four remaining embryos. (6AA, (5BB?, 4BB?), 3BC)
• We would like to thaw the two highest embryos first; 6AA and 5??
• If both survive the thaw, we will but both in and there ends the story.

Where this gets tricky. . . .So if we thaw the best two and ONE doesn't survive the thaw, we will need to thaw another of our remaining two embryos to have TWO thawed to deposit during the FET. Sounds fine, right?

• Not if I think about my one low-quality embryo left just sitting in the deep freeze.
• If one doesn't survive the thaw in the beginning-- I prefer to just automatically thaw the other two at the same time and put whatever survives in. (A possibility of three).

My reasoning is NOT to create triplets. Triplets are a higher risk for both Mom and babies--not to mention financially afterwards. My reasoning is that one low-quality embryo has a very small chance of making it either way. Why leave it in the freeze--keep paying for it-- and then either never use it or pay the almost $3500 for another FET cycle for just one "not-so-good" embryo? To me, I rather use it, giving the best chance now. The chance of all three surviving is ridiculously slim--not impossible--but slim.

My hope it to give us the best chance possible with what we have.

Saying that, what DH and I really want is TWO PERFECTLY thawed, thriving embryos right away-- leaving two more in the bank--just in case. After all, we could use them after the little one(s) arrives from FET#1!

MED CHANGE:

• Lupron moved from 10 units to 5 units daily.
• Aspirin and vitamins still going strong.
• Add estrogen patches: One patch today through 2/9. Then two patches through 2/12. Then FOUR every 72 hours until 10-15 weeks of pregnancy--CRAZY THINGS!!!

Next Appointment is a blood work and ultrasound check-up on 2.23.11.

In other news: GO PACK GO!!!!

LUPRON!

Piece of cake.

Ten units down. It occurred to me today, as I was struggling to unwrap the Lupron package, what a LONG and drawn out ordeal this all is.

I feel like I was just taking Lupron for the IVF cycle . . . and now here I am again beginning Lupron for another cycle--this time, FET.

I have so much respect for couples who have done this three, four, five and even six+ times!

I have been through many cycles myself--but it is an entirely different thing when you are dealing with IVF/FET and a table FULL of medications and shots that you run your life around everyday.

I know I can and will do this-- I am just not looking forward to another round of headaches. . . damn Lupron!

The Meds are here-- Ovulation--not so much.

THE MEDS HAVE ARRIVED!

After waiting going on three months since the last ectopic I can finally begin again!

Here's the inventory and some general information on the meds I am taking for the upcoming FET cycle:

Lupron or "Luprolide Acetate" is a Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone Agonist (GnRH agonist).

Overstimulates the pituitary gland (which controls ovaries) causing LH and FSH to stop being produced--delaying ovulation until time for the FET/IVF or another ART procedure. It controls the time of ovulation so that the FET may be done at a precise time using the HcG trigger.

This is the first drug I will begin 8 days after ovulation--if it ever comes. I will take 10 units subcutaneous every night. (Along with the good 'ol Baby Aspirin). I will take this everyday until right before the FET. This stuff tends to give most people the horrible "Lupron headaches", mood-swings, and general crabbiness.

Estrogen. "Estradiol" Three 0.1mg Patches every three days or pills 2mg. (I haven't decided yet).

Stored at room temperature.

Other than the female parts, Estrogen controls the growth of follicles and uterine lining.

I begin taking the estrogen after the next period's day 3 test results.

I hate the damn patches. But after reading so much about how dangerous the pills can be after an extended period of time I am afraid to take those too. I'm pretty sure I am allergic (or at least very sensitive) to the adhesive on the patches, but a rash may be better than heart disease.

Side effects of the patches: Stickiness.

Progesterone in oil. (Sesame Oil, Cotton seed oil, etc.) "PIO".

Usually produced by the ovaries after ovulation, also produced by the placenta once pregnant.

4-6 days prior to the FET I begin to take PIO-- although I'm not sure how much yet. What I know is that these needles are much bigger than the tiny Lupron needles; stuck right into my ass once a day.

Tetracycline. 250 mg pills. 1 pill 4x/day.

Taken about the same time as PIO, right before the FET.

Antibiotic used to treat any infection before transfer, stopped a day or two before. Commonly used for many infections including acne--in my past. No biggie.

Medrol or "Methylprednisolone" 16 mg pill. 1x/ day before bed.

Begin about the same time as PIO, right before the FET. Last pill is taken the night of the FET.

Said to help with pre-embryo implantation.

HcG or "Pregnyl". 10,000 units. One time.

Does not need to be refrigerated, until opened.

Used to "trigger" ovulation as I would if I needed to use the eggs. It makes the body "release" and simulate the same hormones at a specific time. Not everyone does this for FET's but my RE thinks it is best. It also helps increase the lining of the ute. For FET I take this at the same time I give the first PIO shot. Yes, MANY things begin with the start of PIO. It's a long day of poking.

Prometrium. 200mg capsule.

Progesterone product, used to help relax the uterus before the transfer.

Inserted vaginally--yes, you heard it right. The morning of the FET the capsule is inserted high into the vagina. After insertion lay flat for at least 1/2 an hour.

***********************

Phew!

I hope that was somewhat informative-- and after all of that I am still learning myself.

However, until I ovulate I can't begin ANY of these medications. Good lord.

I really hope that the lap has not effected my ovaries. I am on CD 14 today and still nothing. This is unusual for me. I usually ovulate on days 11-13. On Thursday-- I will begin to panic. Until then, I will try to breathe and relax.

TTFN!

Another day filled with frustration. This is getting old.

Spent the morning in the emergency room. Yeah, I know I must be living on top of an Indian burial ground.

In light of all the other craziness, I've not mentioned the massive amount of pain I've been in. My neck, back (no I'm not singing that song. . . dirty minds.) and arm on my left side are KILLING ME. I'm not sure what I pulled or tore during this last week, but I can't even turn my neck or lift my arms properly. It's bad people, real bad. Biggest problem? I can't take the muscle relaxer they've prescribed because they don't have enough evidence to know what harm it causes pregnant women. WTF. So in the meantime, I must sit in pain. I've made an apt with the spine center-- I hope they can fix me.

In other news, the ultrasound tech/ nurse, whatever was the crankiest bitch today--yes, more than usual. The clinic was unexplainably late today. We arrived on time and there was no one in any of the rooms. I went in for my blood work and briefly talked to the nurse.

No one really told me what was going on after this point. One nurse told me to go into a u/s room. So I did. They told me to go empty my bladder (Also see: take a pee) as usual. I did. I came out and DH had my stuff in his hands and the tech kinda pushed us into another room without really saying anything.

I finally went and asked if I should be getting undressed (as usual). She said, "Just wait."

Uh, okay.

So poor DH who had been in the ER with me since 4:30am and then drove all the way to Chicago and had to work later had to sit there with me. And we sat. . . . and sat. . .and then DH tried to sleep. So did I, but my neck hurt too badly to fall asleep.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to know what the heck was going on. Am I still waiting? Is someone coming? What is the hold up?

I just stuck my head out and said to the one nurse, "Do you know how much longer it is going to be? We've been in this room for over a half an hour without anyone telling us why or what we are waiting for?"

She seemed a little surprised that I even asked what was going on. But said she was sorry and that my RE was running behind. I asked if he was going to be giving the u/s. She said he wasn't. . . . so why am I waiting for him then?

Finally, the foreign u/s tech came in and told us to move to the other room again. She was mumbling something about how things get backed up and the doctor does what he wants and saying things that made it seem like we were being too uptight about the wait.

Before, I was fine. I just wanted to know what was going on.

Now, I was mad. She was accusing me of being unreasonable. Like I did something wrong by asking how much longer I;d have to wait past my apt time?

During the u/s I didn't say a thing. I seriously wanted to cry. DH stood there with his hand on my chest and didn't say anything either.

After she finished she said, "I can see you're upset."

I tried to explain why and that I wasn't upset before, I just wanted to ask what was going on. Why is that a problem? I have no idea how this got so blown out of proportion. But again, something must have gotten lost on translation. There was an uncomfortable silence and feeling in the office on the way out. We left angry and confused as to what had just happened.

All I know is, we've paid wayyyyyy too much money to be treated like this. Especially since we now have to go in every day this week. . . most likely every day until the retrieval.

On the way home, I tried to relax and talk with DH. But we were very agitated and tired, not at each other, just at this whole situation.

When we arrived home, we took a nap before DH had to go to work. I took the whole day off luckily. I usually don't but since the apt time was so late (9:00am) I decided it might be best. Glad I did. Hardly got any sleep last night and with my neck in such pain, I would have been horrible to be around today. Students--be glad I called in.

This afternoon, I called the medical voicemail where I got my stim instructions for tonight. Another day of 75 units of Gonal-F and then 5 units of Lupron.

They also said I have 29 follicles on my right side and 14 on my left. That's 43 follies people!

As of yesterday, sizes are 11, 10, two-9's, four-8's, four-7's and then lots of little guys.

If these guys keep growing and develop well, hopefully I won;t have to go through another full IVF cycle again. Good Lord, PLEASE!

I'm STIMMING!!!

That's right people, I'm on the stimming meds. 225 of Gonal-F each day.

Here's how this all happened:

Thursday, September 30th, I awoke (very) early and headed to the RE. When DH and I got there we waited again for them to call us back. About 15 minutes after our apt time, we were called back. The nurse (not my usual, Sue) said I was missing an approval from my old OBGYN that said it was okay for me to proceed with the IVF cycle.

Apparently, way back over a year ago when I had my last Pap a few abnormal things appeared. I guess not enough to make my Gyno's office tell me about it, because I didn't know until now. Anyway, because of that they needed clearance from the doctor in addition to the report--which I might add was already a fiasco trying to get to them. Funny though, my RE's office saw this last week (9.20) and didn't tell me until the LAST MINUTE. Not to mention my old RE did our first IUI-- if they didn't think I should be pregnant they definatley wouldn't have given me an IUI or clomid 3x.

The nurse said I needed to get that to them TODAY or I couldn't get my stimming instructions for that night by 4pm. Nice. Aren't I supposed to be trying to stay stress-free?

She said she was going to fax them the letter they needed and hoped they'd return it right away, but that I still needed to call myself (again).

After that whole ordeal, we had to try and explain our new insurance. Why our IVF isn't covered even after they had approval from some dumb bitch at Humana. Then, I had to try and explain why we haven't paid two tiny bills because I am still in debate with the insurance company about them. This and then we had to pay them 9,100 dollars.

Then the real fun began.

First, I had my blood drawn so they could check my levels and give me stim instructions. Then, I went in with the foreign lady for my dildo cam apt. Yeah, that's right during my period. Get used to it ladies-- if you're doing IVF, it's just part of the deal.

Anyways, it was a little annoying, but still interesting. Look what the Lupron did!!! I have many a follie now!!!

(ABOVE: My ute and the tiny lining).

(ABOVE: Right ovary pictured, more on the left ovary as well).

Afterwards, we left and headed to breakfast (It was only 8am at this point). We indulged in the usual on-the-way-home stop-- The Cracker Barrel. PANCAKES!!!

When we arrived back in Milwaukee about 9:45am, we needed to take quick powernaps before we headed back to work (teaching) for the afternoon. Problem was I only got a 45-minute nap. This + Christine= CRANKY. Damn kids drove me NUTZ the rest of the day.

Finally, 3 o'clock came. I headed home. NO MESSAGE OF MY STIM INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE RE.

NONE.

So I called and asked if they got anything back from the OBGYN.

First the stupid girl at the front didn't know what I was talking about. I am so sick of having to tell her everything I want to ask the nurse BEFORE I talk to the nurse. Just let me talk to the woman, damnit! Why do I have to give you my life story every time I call?

When the nurse finally answered, she said they hadn't gotten anything from the OB yet and won't be able to give me my stim instructions until they get it.

I FLIPPED.

I went off on her. I bet she wasn't happy she had to take my call. I told her it was utter bullshit that they waited until THE DAY I needed my stim instructions to tell me I needed to get this info from my OBGYN. That if they didn't give the instructions to me regardless of whether they had 'clearance or not', I was going to take 225 units of gonal-F this evening with my 10 units of lupron, like I remember the nurse saying something about last week. I told her we've paid too much damn money and invested too much of our time and effort to f#ck this up because you guys didn't give me adequate time to handle this.

I had enough. I told her I was going to do my best and call the OBGYN and get the stupid fax back to them.

I called. They had to find the fax. FIND IT.

It was sent about 7:30am that morning. It was now 3:50pm. I told the lady, they needed to do this now, or I was screwed. I also mentioned how I was pissed no one told me I had anything abnormal on my last pap, especially since I was someone who had cancerous cells on her cervix that had to be removed within the last 10 years. (At this point, I was pissed about a LOT).

She said she'd find a doctor to sign it and fax it to them.

Not 3 minutes later, she calls back.

Apparently, she said they HAD faxed the letter signed by my doctor last TUESDAY the 28th.

Yep.

The 28th. . .

Mmm, Hmmm.

"Okay." I said. "I'll let them know."

She said she'd fax it again, just in case.

I called back the RE's office. I tried to tell the stupid girl at the front desk they'd already sent the f'n fax two days ago, but she put me on hold before I could even finish my sentence. Ass.

When the nurse answered, she jumped right into, "Okay, we have it--now here's your stims instructions--are you ready? Are you ready!??!!?"

I was so damn anxious to get the damn thing started and be done with the bullshit of cleaning up everyone else's messes, I just said, "Yep! I'm ready--got my pen!!!!"

The plan:

Thursday 9.30: 225 units of Gonal-F--"RIGHT NOW." She said. (Uh, okay). Then 5 units of Lupron and the baby aspirin.

Friday 10.1: 112.5 untis of Gonal-F in the AM. 112.5 units of Gonal-f, 5 units of Lupron, and the baby aspirin in the PM.

Saturday: Same as Friday.

Sunday: No drugs until you see us at 9:10am for your next u/s and blood work.

I also had to order another Gonal-F pen. $780 bucks a pop!

In the meantime, the gonal-F pen it a breeze. Yet, I am still a cranky bastard. I have constant headaches, and my NECK and BACK ARE KILLING ME. I already set-up two massages for the next two weeks.

So there you have it. I feel my posts getting more testy as time passes and medications increase.

Therefore, as a public service announcement to the RE's office: You better have your shit together when I see you next--'cause I'm stimmin'.

I'm bleedin'!!! And happy about it.

Never thought the day would come.

1. That I'd be happy to have cramps.

2. That birth control would actually control my cycle--it's never worked before.

3. I'm within two weeks of my ER (Egg retrieval).

This whole "AF-Like" period apparently isn't a real period, it's more like a short term version. I was not aware of this until the nurse told me last week. Either way, sure feel like a period.

The first u/s and blood work tests are tomorrow morning at 6:50am! Yeah, all the way across state lines. . . then I go to work. Blech.

I am also awaiting the start of my stims. Not so I can get shot up several time a day, but so I am closer to D-day . . .or ER/ ET days. . . whatever.

I'll update with the schedule and meds protocol tomorrow or Friday. Night all, wish me luck for good test results!

Lupron, Day 5.

Today I will have my fifth shot of Lupron.

So far I've developed headaches, a sore throat, itchy/runny/sneezy nose, exhaustion, and bruising in 3/4 of my injection sites. Nice.

I will take Lupron every day until the Egg Retrieval (ER). But this Thursday, I will hopefully get all the info for beginning the stims.

In the meantime, allow me to read to you the massive list of items I was sent in my refrigerated box and will be taking this cycle. Ah hem:

1. Baby Aspirin

2. Lupron

3. Gonal-F

4. Estradiol

5. Novarel (HCG)

6. Progesterone in oil

7. Tetracycline

8. Methylprednisolone

9. Prometrium

Jesus. I'm gonna be bruised from head to toe! HA!

If we didn't work hard enough for a baby before. . . . .

MASSIVE UPDATE.

So last time we chatted, I was about to head to our CD3 tests.

Then . . .LIFE GOT IN THE WAY.

So here I am, almost two weeks later. But with lots of info to share.

First of all, we got there at the crack of dawn, asked lots of questions and then did the many blood draws. My tests were just fine and nothing was out of the normal.

We did later find out that DH's sperm count was something like 241 million. That's a lot--That's great. The bad news? One of the other aspects of the swimmies is not so good.

The motility or morphology (too confusing that day-- can't remember which) is only at 3%.

I am really hoping this means I won't have to do ICSI, but who knows now. This just gets more annoying each day. . .

Either way, for the most part everything was still a "go" for us. Bring it on.

9.20.10-

I went in for the scary "Mock transfer".

The nurses told me it would consist of three different metal catheters being inserted through my cervix and into my uterus--they will get progressively bigger as they go--Awesome.

I also had to arrive with a FULL bladder.

On the way down there I took 3 vicodin (by my own choice) and drank tons of water. I also donned my lucky green socks, and three lucky necklaces; one from my exchange buddy, one from our honeymoon (I always wear) and a new horseshoe necklace I bought myself for luck. I was ready--kinda.

When we arrived at 1:45pm, I first explained to the billing lady how screwed up our insurance is and that although they claimed at one point that they will pay for IVF--they say another time that they really won't. They are also not paying for tons of other bills that were NEVER coded for infertility--they need to pay this shit.

After talking with her, we went back to the u/s room. They began by checking to see my uterus on the screen--but apparently I hadn't drank enough water for them. (When your bladder is full--or inflated-- it raises your uterus up so it's easier to insert something straight) So I drank another bottle and waited. . . they checked me. . . still not enough. . .drank another bottle of water . . .waited. . .finally I was "good enough".

By this time I was good and juiced on my vicodin (the plan) and could only feel the last bit of the procedure. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had DH right there with me. But I definitely felt cramping. I also had to pee every five minutes for the rest of the night.

Before we left I asked about a billion questions. The nurse must have wanted to kill herself. But we were literately signing lives away; what to do with the embryos, do we freeze DH's sperm, how will you pay this 10,000 dollars, sign, sign, sign. . .

On the way home, we stopped for Mexican. I figured it was a fair trade-- Hector's Mexican is not ordinary Mexican food.

9.22.10-

MEDS ARRIVE.

DH took off of work today (because I can't) and waited for the refrigerated box to arrive. It needed a signature and we couldn't just have them leave 1500 dollars worth of meds on the back porch. So about 10am DH called and said it had arrived. I was antsy the whole day to get home and see what was there.

Once I arrived home, I opened the fridge to see DH had thrown everything in the fridge. Including the needles and alcohol wipes. HAHA. When I asked him about it later, and I told him only one box (out of 15?) needed to be refrigerated, he said, "I just wanted to be sure . . ."

At 8:30pm tonight, DH gave me my first shot of Lupron. We read carefully. We even googled what "subcutaneous" meant. He washed his hands, wiped off the bottle and filled the syringe with 10 cc of the Lupron. I squeezed my gut-fat and POKE! It felt a bit strange after a minute, but it went away soon after. I am also finishing up the tetracycline from the mock, birth control, and will stay on baby aspirin until further notice.

Next up?

My first baseline test and u/s is on 9.30.10.

But more importantly, DH's and my 5 year dating anniversary is tomorrow. So much has happened to us in such a short period of time. From just knowing each other as friends to now, going through our first IVF cycle. I don't know what I would do without his love and support. :)