A day without stims. . .

10.9.10

I spent my early Saturday morning driving to the RE for the 7th day in a row. They took my blood and did an ultrasound--again. Nothing out of the normal but we knew it would be Monday or Tuesday for the ER.

On the way home Dh and finally stopped at this "pancake house" we pass each visit to the RE.

It. was. awesome.

I had raspberry compote and cream cheese stuffed french toast with bananas on top. DH had a huge veggie skillet with hash browns underneath. If the eggs don't want to be made into babies for a piece of that in their future-- I don't know what else to do. :)

After a few hours we go the call.

My test results are listed on the side bar again. But in addition to that, they told me, "You're coming in Monday." AHHH Crazy!! It is time!!!

My egg retrieval will be this Monday at 9:10am. I need to be there by 8:40am to get settled and ready so that they can get started exactly 34 hours later. Hopefully, the eggs/follies won't have release before then!

I will have IV "twilight" sedation. I will also be wearing my lucky socks, my "exchange necklace", my horseshoe necklace, my feather (honeymoon gift) necklace and anything else I can find that will be lucky. Anyone else have thoughts!!?? :)

They told me I was DONE with Lupron, Gonal-F and baby aspirin. The only shot for the night was 10,000 units of HcG at 11:10pm.

Other guidelines include:

• No "sexy-time" until the ER.
• East and drink nothing after midnight Sunday.
• NO perfume, lotions or fingernail polish.
• DH needs to be there to make his "fresh deposit" and drive me home.
• Wait for call from anesthesia office to call with info.

After the ER on Monday, they will check out the eggs and fertilize them with DH's sperm. I will have to decide tomorrow whether we are doing ICSI or not. I prefer NOT to do ICSI unless we only have very few eggs or very low quality sperm. In light of all the 'technical and medical' interventions we have had to go through so far, I'd like to at least keep the fertilizing step up to mother nature--kinda, I mean, it's still happening in a dish. But, I think you get my point. I'd prefer not to have the selection of my child chosen by some nurse I've never met. I prefer the "throw them all together and see what happens" method.

After they have fertilized the eggs-now embryos (which ever method) we wait to see how they grow and divide. They will call me by Tuesday before noon. (See: I will be freakin' out all day until I know). At that point we will have information about how many eggs were successfully fertilized, what grade the embryos are, and how many they suggest putting in (we hope for at least two). If there are only a few embryos we will most likely do a "day three transfer" which would be Thursday. If there are many to choose from that are all progressing well, we will do a "5 day transfer" also known as a "blast transfer".

I will not post again until tomorrow after the ER. I hope all goes well and that my original 43 follies turn into some great numbers tomorrow. Wish me luck-- I'll see you on the flip-side. . . probably ten pounds lighter! :)

One more day of stims.

(Above: Left Follies, Below: Right Follies).

I received all my updates this afternoon at school. (I am always anxious to call as soon as 3 o'clock hits!) The nurse told me my numbers (see: right side bar) and said that I won't have the ER on 10.10.10, but most likely the next day Monday, 10.11.10 or at the latest Tuesday, 10.12.10. I am DAYS AWAY PEOPLE--DAYS! DH should feel lucky if I hold back from counting hours and minutes!

I am bummed that I will have to take off more school for this but it's another instance of "it will all be worth it in the end". There are about 36 follies at this point that are worth measuring. Some of the original 43 have "dissolved" into the others or haven't been keeping up. It is funny to me because the right ovary had 29 follies at the first count. Now it has less jumbo follies because each of the 29 follies had to "share the stim medication" with the others. While the left ovary had only 14 follies to begin with, so there was more medication to go around and therefore the follies we able to grow larger. Ah, so is life. . .

I'm hoping all the follies have some eggs to retrieve. I'm thankful that I have ANY follies, but would really like to have a bunch that are able to go to freeze. Unless we are able to use those for a FET, we will most likely not do another IVF cycle until Summer--but this will work so why am I even wondering? :)

In the meantime, DH and I are addicted to all-foods-crappy. We are about to indulge in some Little Caesars $5 pizza for dinner. I wish we could get our eating habits back on track. We are not huge or overweight (in fact DH runs marathons) but we usually eat much better. Last year at this time I was on a vegan cleanse. We just can't seem to get back on track.

We're stressed, tired, and I am HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I have gained 10 pounds from the meds and this way of eating. Crazy.

All I do know is, when I get the positive pregnancy test, I will repeat my habits of the last pregnancy--I am a fitness/diet animal. I paid good money for this baby (or babies)--I'm treatin' it right!

CD9 and counting. . .

It appears I am VERY close to my ER.

The estimated date was 10.10.10. I think they may be right. It will most likely either be Sunday or Monday. Tricky when you are a teacher. I have to make and prepare sub-plans tonight for Monday in case I am not in. BAH!

Either way, it will be worth it--I just have to find the motivation to get my butt in gear.

In other news, Yesterday was a bit of a mess with scheduling my day. I was running on a tight schedule hoping to get back to school in time to teacher ALL of my classes that day. However, before we even got a few miles down he highway, there was a HUGE accident and it pushed us 30-40 minutes late. . . which of course threw everything else off for the rest of the day. I have to say though, with all the driving DH and I have been doing down to IL over the past few weeks, we are simply thankful it was not us in the fatal car accident.

Today, went much better. It was a halfway calm day. We went in, I got poked for blood work and an u/s and then DH made his "emergency deposit".

Allow me to explain: If there was any trouble with DH providing a "sample", "deposit", "splooge" on the ER date, we'd be screwed. So to take stress off of DH and to give us some added security, DH did a "just in case sample" that will be checked and frozen today. If for whatever reason he can't give on on ER date, they will just use the frozen sample from today. it's an extra 100 bucks, but compared to what this whole thing has cost us in time and money--that's chump change.

We also got more update on follie sizes. (See sidebar to right).

I'm pretty happy with where things are right now. In a way its good to know that not 43 follies have grown to 16mm. On the other hand, I wish more of them would grow faster and catch up with their bigger sisters. As long as they are big and strong or "Big is beautiful" as the u/s tech said today, then it will all be okay. (16mm is needed).

Hopefully, tomorrow is the last "during a school day" that I will have to travel to the RE and then to school. For ER and ET, when I'm back--I stay put!

BRING IT!!!

WOOT!

Back up to 112.5 units of Gonal-F!

I think that's a good thing, right?

I had gotten dropped down to 75 units the last few days because of my "too good response". I just want to keep my 43 follies in motion! Grow suckers, GROW!

Tomorrow, I hope does not turn into a nightmare. I am attempting to drive all the way to the clinic for a 6:30am apt and then be back to teach at my high school by 8:14am.

HAHAHAHA!

I have to. If I don't go in, the first two classes of kids will be SO behind and have NOTHING to do while I'm gone. Gotta get them all on board. Hopefully everyone is there for the demo tomorrow. (Fingers Crossed).

Another day filled with frustration. This is getting old.

Spent the morning in the emergency room. Yeah, I know I must be living on top of an Indian burial ground.

In light of all the other craziness, I've not mentioned the massive amount of pain I've been in. My neck, back (no I'm not singing that song. . . dirty minds.) and arm on my left side are KILLING ME. I'm not sure what I pulled or tore during this last week, but I can't even turn my neck or lift my arms properly. It's bad people, real bad. Biggest problem? I can't take the muscle relaxer they've prescribed because they don't have enough evidence to know what harm it causes pregnant women. WTF. So in the meantime, I must sit in pain. I've made an apt with the spine center-- I hope they can fix me.

In other news, the ultrasound tech/ nurse, whatever was the crankiest bitch today--yes, more than usual. The clinic was unexplainably late today. We arrived on time and there was no one in any of the rooms. I went in for my blood work and briefly talked to the nurse.

No one really told me what was going on after this point. One nurse told me to go into a u/s room. So I did. They told me to go empty my bladder (Also see: take a pee) as usual. I did. I came out and DH had my stuff in his hands and the tech kinda pushed us into another room without really saying anything.

I finally went and asked if I should be getting undressed (as usual). She said, "Just wait."

Uh, okay.

So poor DH who had been in the ER with me since 4:30am and then drove all the way to Chicago and had to work later had to sit there with me. And we sat. . . . and sat. . .and then DH tried to sleep. So did I, but my neck hurt too badly to fall asleep.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to know what the heck was going on. Am I still waiting? Is someone coming? What is the hold up?

I just stuck my head out and said to the one nurse, "Do you know how much longer it is going to be? We've been in this room for over a half an hour without anyone telling us why or what we are waiting for?"

She seemed a little surprised that I even asked what was going on. But said she was sorry and that my RE was running behind. I asked if he was going to be giving the u/s. She said he wasn't. . . . so why am I waiting for him then?

Finally, the foreign u/s tech came in and told us to move to the other room again. She was mumbling something about how things get backed up and the doctor does what he wants and saying things that made it seem like we were being too uptight about the wait.

Before, I was fine. I just wanted to know what was going on.

Now, I was mad. She was accusing me of being unreasonable. Like I did something wrong by asking how much longer I;d have to wait past my apt time?

During the u/s I didn't say a thing. I seriously wanted to cry. DH stood there with his hand on my chest and didn't say anything either.

After she finished she said, "I can see you're upset."

I tried to explain why and that I wasn't upset before, I just wanted to ask what was going on. Why is that a problem? I have no idea how this got so blown out of proportion. But again, something must have gotten lost on translation. There was an uncomfortable silence and feeling in the office on the way out. We left angry and confused as to what had just happened.

All I know is, we've paid wayyyyyy too much money to be treated like this. Especially since we now have to go in every day this week. . . most likely every day until the retrieval.

On the way home, I tried to relax and talk with DH. But we were very agitated and tired, not at each other, just at this whole situation.

When we arrived home, we took a nap before DH had to go to work. I took the whole day off luckily. I usually don't but since the apt time was so late (9:00am) I decided it might be best. Glad I did. Hardly got any sleep last night and with my neck in such pain, I would have been horrible to be around today. Students--be glad I called in.

This afternoon, I called the medical voicemail where I got my stim instructions for tonight. Another day of 75 units of Gonal-F and then 5 units of Lupron.

They also said I have 29 follicles on my right side and 14 on my left. That's 43 follies people!

As of yesterday, sizes are 11, 10, two-9's, four-8's, four-7's and then lots of little guys.

If these guys keep growing and develop well, hopefully I won;t have to go through another full IVF cycle again. Good Lord, PLEASE!

EEK! IUI#3 tomorrow!

Quick update before bed:

I got my LH surge this afternoon! (I tested around 3pm, so not sure what time between 7am and 3 it occured. . . )

Either way, I have my RE apt for IUI#3 tomorrow!!!

DH apt is at 1pm and I head back in at 3pm!

I am excited! Really hoping third time is the charm!

WIsh us luck!!! (GO three eggs!!!. . . GET FERTILIZED AND GROW!!! STICKY EMBABIES!!!)

Ultrasound.

Quick update: Ultrasound #3 was today.

I have THREE follies that are worth mentioning. (Apparently my clomid is working).

On the left side: 20mm x 17mm

On the right side: 20mm x 15mm, AND 23mm x 22mm!!! That baby is a honker!

My lining was also 7.39mm. So average, I think. That means, they probably won't switch me to the other medication. . . . however, with my RE, I never kn ow what is going on.

IUI #3 is soon to come. Just waiting for that LH surge! (NO HcG--trying without it). My RE thinks it will be tonight or tomorrow . . . tick-tock, tick-tock. . .

UPDATE: I was out of town.

Yes, I was on vacation and although I thought I would have time to post updates during my trip--Not so much the case.

Just the whole shot ordeal was somethin'. Allow me to drop some knowledge on you:

Thursday, April 8th, I went into the doctor for the ultrasound of my follicles. We were hoping that they were at least 20mm. After waiting WAYYYY too long for the nurse practitioner to get her ass in there (Apparently, she was taking a phone call for over 25 minutes. . . .HELLO!!! I AM IN HERE. You know THE BUILDING! With my pants off and feet in the stirrups, thank you. Tell THAT person to make an appointment and drive all the way here!) Anyways, after she finally got in there, she lubed up this plastic, uh hem, phallic looking object with a condom on it. Yes, a condom. It was very S&M.

Once I could see it on the monitor, I saw these odd black blobs. Kind of like the side of a dalmatian. She moved the "probe" around, causing a lot of pressure. I had three good ones on the right side. (Left was kinda vacant since we ladies release one side at a time). I think the biggest (pictured above) was ALMOST 20mm. This meant I had to wait until the next day to get the HcG shit, I mean, shot. The nurse said the follies grow about 2mm per day, so by the next morning, I'd be good to go. "Give the shot around 9am", she says.

One problem. One BIG problem. We were flying to the East coast at 6:05am. Then, the inlaws were picking us up at the airport. We're trying to keep this whole ordeal a secret from just about everybody (Yes, I know I am posting this all online, but only people in the know, know about this site). So to make a long story short, we planned to do the shot the only way we could think of, after we landed, in the family restroom. Turns out all the restrooms were locked, and when we got to an open one, some old janitor walks in. While we are waiting, my mother in-law busts in the door.

SHIT.

We had to give it then, because we were headed out for family stuff until we finally got to the hotel in the late afternoon!

My DH decided to tell her we needed to use the restrooms, which we did, and we'd be out in a second. Well, the second turned into about 20 minutes by the time the janitor was out of the restroom and we were done with the shot. (Side note: No biggy. I thought it would hurt like HELL, but my DH did an amazing job, and the nurse had drawn a target on my ass the day before. Seriously, she did.)

So we walk out and now his Dad is inside looking for us. Good Lord people. PATIENCE. My husband decided to make up a story that he had massive bowel issues. Love him for things like that :)

We went on with our trip. The day was fine, and I felt no real side-effects. The next day, we walked all over the place and I was definitely tired. But somehow, we had to sneak back in and have baby-making sex sometime around the 36-hour mark after the shot. Well, that would've been 9pm.....IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER planned with the entire family. We figured 4:15pm was a close as we could get before we left with my in-laws. And if you haven't noticed, they like to be "on-time". They called us twice and stopped by the room before we were supposed to meet them at 4:45. (Oh yeah, and we had just seen them on the way TO the room). Needless to say it was a scheduling nightmare.


I'm not sure if ANYTHING we did over the weekend was good enough to make a baby. But we gave it our best shot. I believe somewhere around the 24th I can test. Good grief, the 2 week wait strikes again!!!!!

Tomorrow' another BIG DAY.

Yep. It's here.

Tomorrow, I go into the doc's office and get an ultrasound of my follicles, hope they're 20mm, and get a shot of HcG in my ass.

Seems different than what I have previously reported as the next step, no?

Well, when I went in last Thursday, Dr. threw me a curve ball. She kind of jumped ahead 3 months without really making much recognition of it. But hey, I was getting extremely impatient with the speed we were at. I was actually going to ask her that day if we could push things a head a bit. But then she comes right at me with--now were going to do clomid, intrauterine ultrasounds, HcG, and IUI.

What the?

Seriously. Already . . . Okay. Works for me. . . . oh crap! I'm heading out of town Friday. Can't do the IUI. . . .next time IUI. This time all the above except IUI (See: "Regular sex"). Got that? I know, confusing.

Basically, over the last week, my life has hit the fast forward 3 months to this stage. Last Friday I began 50mg of Clomiphene. Monday, my DH and I went into the doc's office for an extremely pointless video on infertility. They apparently show it to all the NEW patients. However, they "forgot" to show it, (and the price list for services), to us until after we've already done all the services in the first 4/5 of the video. DULLS-VILLE. But afterwards, my husband learned how to make me lean into the wall, stick my butt out at him, and bend over. Seriously. That way he can line the HcG shot up with the "meaty" part of my ass. That's the point where he can jam this GIANT hypodermic needle in. Capitol, F-U-N.

So that day went "well". Tomorrow though we check my follicles, as I mentioned earlier. They need to be 20mm in order for them to be "toasty and ready". Then, I can get the $115.00 single shot of HcG. The HcG shot causes Ovulation to occur. This apparently means 36 hours later that egg is ready for some swimmers!!! Yes, I have to time the horizontal mambo 36 hours after I get the shot. This will be interesting since I am leaving for a trip with my in-laws the next day. "Oh, sorry all. I know we're in the middle of dinner, but I gotta go "do" your son." Perhaps, I should phrase it, "Make you some Grandbabies?"

That is the story IF I have some toasty follicles that are 20mm+. If I don't, I have to wait to get the shot. We will have to estimate how big the follicles will be the next day, the one after that and so on based on what we see tomorrow. Then, the day we think they should be at 20mm, DH gives me the shot 'o fun.

So, basically, tomorrow IS A BIG DAY. It could lower my stress level considerably if I have some 20mm follies by 9:30am.

Pray for me people.

I hope this month is the month more than ever. It will be our last go at it in a semi-"natural" way. After this month, we would turn to IUI and then-- God forbid, IVF.

Updates come tomorrow night! :) Night all--GROW FOLLIES GROOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!