Another day filled with frustration. This is getting old.

Spent the morning in the emergency room. Yeah, I know I must be living on top of an Indian burial ground.

In light of all the other craziness, I've not mentioned the massive amount of pain I've been in. My neck, back (no I'm not singing that song. . . dirty minds.) and arm on my left side are KILLING ME. I'm not sure what I pulled or tore during this last week, but I can't even turn my neck or lift my arms properly. It's bad people, real bad. Biggest problem? I can't take the muscle relaxer they've prescribed because they don't have enough evidence to know what harm it causes pregnant women. WTF. So in the meantime, I must sit in pain. I've made an apt with the spine center-- I hope they can fix me.

In other news, the ultrasound tech/ nurse, whatever was the crankiest bitch today--yes, more than usual. The clinic was unexplainably late today. We arrived on time and there was no one in any of the rooms. I went in for my blood work and briefly talked to the nurse.

No one really told me what was going on after this point. One nurse told me to go into a u/s room. So I did. They told me to go empty my bladder (Also see: take a pee) as usual. I did. I came out and DH had my stuff in his hands and the tech kinda pushed us into another room without really saying anything.

I finally went and asked if I should be getting undressed (as usual). She said, "Just wait."

Uh, okay.

So poor DH who had been in the ER with me since 4:30am and then drove all the way to Chicago and had to work later had to sit there with me. And we sat. . . . and sat. . .and then DH tried to sleep. So did I, but my neck hurt too badly to fall asleep.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to know what the heck was going on. Am I still waiting? Is someone coming? What is the hold up?

I just stuck my head out and said to the one nurse, "Do you know how much longer it is going to be? We've been in this room for over a half an hour without anyone telling us why or what we are waiting for?"

She seemed a little surprised that I even asked what was going on. But said she was sorry and that my RE was running behind. I asked if he was going to be giving the u/s. She said he wasn't. . . . so why am I waiting for him then?

Finally, the foreign u/s tech came in and told us to move to the other room again. She was mumbling something about how things get backed up and the doctor does what he wants and saying things that made it seem like we were being too uptight about the wait.

Before, I was fine. I just wanted to know what was going on.

Now, I was mad. She was accusing me of being unreasonable. Like I did something wrong by asking how much longer I;d have to wait past my apt time?

During the u/s I didn't say a thing. I seriously wanted to cry. DH stood there with his hand on my chest and didn't say anything either.

After she finished she said, "I can see you're upset."

I tried to explain why and that I wasn't upset before, I just wanted to ask what was going on. Why is that a problem? I have no idea how this got so blown out of proportion. But again, something must have gotten lost on translation. There was an uncomfortable silence and feeling in the office on the way out. We left angry and confused as to what had just happened.

All I know is, we've paid wayyyyyy too much money to be treated like this. Especially since we now have to go in every day this week. . . most likely every day until the retrieval.

On the way home, I tried to relax and talk with DH. But we were very agitated and tired, not at each other, just at this whole situation.

When we arrived home, we took a nap before DH had to go to work. I took the whole day off luckily. I usually don't but since the apt time was so late (9:00am) I decided it might be best. Glad I did. Hardly got any sleep last night and with my neck in such pain, I would have been horrible to be around today. Students--be glad I called in.

This afternoon, I called the medical voicemail where I got my stim instructions for tonight. Another day of 75 units of Gonal-F and then 5 units of Lupron.

They also said I have 29 follicles on my right side and 14 on my left. That's 43 follies people!

As of yesterday, sizes are 11, 10, two-9's, four-8's, four-7's and then lots of little guys.

If these guys keep growing and develop well, hopefully I won;t have to go through another full IVF cycle again. Good Lord, PLEASE!