Not pregnant with baby, but full of extra time.

While dreaming of my peanut's future nursery I came across a few cool items.
One can dream, right?














Sweet bird lamp. I will have this one day. Serena and Lily.















Must have eco-friendly town. What a great toy!?!? Nordstrom.


"Marlo" bedding collection. It is neutral for boy/ or girl. This means when we move into the new house I can start to "nest" immmediatly! :) Serena and Lily.

Lastly, ...






























No nursery is complete without an overpriced chandelier. I figure if I spend thousands to get the kid, why not splurge on a lighting fixture??!?? Lily and Grace.

On clomid--again. AND THE AC IS BROKEN!!!

On clomid for the third time around.

IUI#2 is tentatively set for June 2nd.

My hot flashes re kicking in, it's 90 degrees, and I'm stressing about babies, my current job, starting a new job, selling our house, and buying a new one.

Oh, and the AC is broken. WTF!

I am hot flashin' here people and the stupid AC is broken!?!?! What the Hell is up with this crap!? Is the universe really out to get me?

Lame sauce.

Didn't even get to POAS.

BFN. BFFN.

I was so looking forward to peeing on that stick tomorrow. I have been so anxious this cycle. I thought the IUI was our "cure". We were hoping my CM (Cervical mucus) was hostile as Hell. We prayed that the green ninjas were kicking ass in the entry way of my baby house. Therefore, the IUI would bypass them and drop those swimmers off right at the egg. Presto embryo.

Apparently not.

My cramps actually woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:30am. I couldn't get to sleep until 1600mg of ibuprofen knocked me out an hour later. I knew what I felt yesterday morning were cramps!
I'm bummed to say the very least. I think I've gotten to the point where crying doesn't really occur to me anymore. I feel almost numb with the whole ordeal. Do I not care? Am I just subconsciously protecting myself? Am I holding back the floodgates waiting for the BFP? I'm not sure I will know until that day comes. All I know, is that I am sick of waitin'--and there's definitely no "patiently" about it.

So now what?
Now I have to go back to my new RE that I'm not so happy with after our first meeting. Not only did my DH and I wait an hour after our apt. time, but we left feeling like we were part of a drive by. First, he boldly declared upon first meeting me, that my OBGYN (Whom I've been with for about 15 years) was wrong about my PCOS diagnosis and that I don't have it--WITHOUT TESTING ME AT ALL. He declared it sounds more like endometriosis. Then, he said that I should go off Metformin--WITHOUT TESTING ME AT ALL. Then, said that we should just "try on our own" for two months so we could get to the "magical one year mark". Then, he contradicted himself by saying we should do two more rounds of IUI and then go to IVF.

Oh, and did I mention how he spent most of the time implying how I am overreacting and being worried for nothing? Yeah. He made me feel like I had no idea what I was talking about and that I've basically wasted my time and money worrying about this. I assume that also means he must have thought I was wasting his time as well. Ironic since he wasted an hour of our time before we were called back to see him.

So where do I go from here? What do I do?

I don't know. I suppose I'm going to call the RE office and have them send my Rx for Clomid and HcG again. Then do the u/s (Ultrasound) and hope for a good follie or two. IUI? I suppose, unless he changes his mind again.
I'm just frustrated and bummed out. My new (VERY EXPENSIVE) RE isn't supportive, but I don't know where else to go.

What I do know is, I'm taking tomorrow off. (Gotta pregnant high school student in class--can't stand to face her tomorrow).

T- 2 days until "Testing".

Aunt flo is DUE Friday.

This means I am less than two days away from testing. I've been wanting to test SERIOUSLY BAD for the last week. This 2WW is killing me. I think it's because, well --WE HAD A FRIEKIN' IUI PEOPLE! Not only pricey but also the best shot yet. I'm hoping that my "cervical mucus" kicked ass during normal sex; Killed off the swimmers dressed in their green ninja outfits wielding machetes.

That, believe it or not, is what I'm hoping. Because that would mean as soon as the IUI was placed into the uterus, BYPASSING the ninjas, the swimmers were IN!!! Safe and IN!!! Hopefully they were smart enough to find the egg.

So knowing all of that, I've been chomping at the bit. DYING to take that plastic stick out of it's protective package and piss all over it! Well the absorbent tip anyways.

This morning though. . . . I felt some cramping. Minor, but cramping. I'm hoping it was all in my head. I only felt it for few minutes when I first awoke, but it's creating a creeping doubt in my mind. So right now, I'm asking for my green ninjas to kick the ass of the doubt. At least until Friday.

Hmm, temp still high and feelin'. . .

Well after a frustrating RE apt, I feel strange. My gut has been feeling strange lately. I also have been charting my BBT this month and noticed that my temp hasn't dropped since I ovulated. (Some say it's a sign you are pregnant). But I also triggered with an HSG shot which is the hormone that HPT (Home pregnancy tests) react to, to let you know you are prego or not.

I HOPE AND PRAY that I have a BFP (Big Fat Positive) next week Friday! So yes, I am one week into the dreaded 2WW.

When will it end??????

IUI # 1. Complete!

I have a million and one things going on in my life this week (Why this is LATE) so I'm going to make this a short one.


The IUI went off without a hitch. --Well, so we hope anyways.

I went in at 10am with my DH.

Around 11:15am, I went in for the procedure. It took about 5 minutes and I was done.

Basically, it was the kind of pain I had during my HSG, except, the process was shorter. I feel that things could really turn out well this time. I'd hate to have to go through this all again. But whatever it takes, right?

I have to say, when I arrived home I plopped onto the couch where I didn't move for pretty much the rest of the day. ( Bedrest post IVF so why not IUI?). When I turned on the TV, the first thing I heard was, ".....I'm pregnant . . ." Ummm...I'll take that as am AWESOME SIGN. :)

The ultrasound results.

Yesterday was another long-awaited moment. Although it was just the ultrasound, I was dying to see if my clomid had worked!

Well, it looks like it did enough so far.

I have one really good lookin' follicle on the right side (again). Apparently, the left side hates me. Either way, I have the green light for my very first IUI tomorrow.

I've heard many differing opinions on whether IUI is actually a form of ART or Assisted Reproductive Technology. Some say, yes, others say, no. All I know is there is definitely some assistance going on here that is out of the "norm".

So what does that all mean?

Read here to get all the technical jargon, but my version (dumbed down version) is this:

Yesterday, we had the ultrasound and found one really good follicle on my right side (see picture above).
The well developed follicle gave us the "go" for taking my second HcG shot last night around 11pm. DH did another great job of administering the shot. I always forget how painless the tiny needle is in my giant rear end. This shot tells the follicle to "RELEASE THAT EGG!!!" So hopefully if all goes as planned, Ovulation happens 36 hours later= 11am Friday.

Therefore, Friday morning, the man and I have called in to work (YES!) and will be making a trip to the OBGYN. My hubby will make a "deposit" at the doc around 10:15. Then they supposedly spin the Hell out of those suckers to remove any extra fluids and then load up the catheter--to prepare for me. I think they tell us how good his swimmers are at that point. (This news will possibly give me info that would allow me to change his eating and drinking habits :) Then, about 11am, I will have the IUI procedure (see gross looking photo below).

I hope and pray this works. Perhaps I have hostile cervical mucus and this is all we need to do to become pregnant. I love that phrase, "Hostile mucus".

In additional to all of this, next week Tuesday, I have my first appointment with my schnazzy RE. So yes, this IS the last appointment I will have with my OBGYN until I am pregnant. I'm ready for the big dogs if this does not work. BUT IT WILL WORK.

I am trying to be as confident as I can at each step. But this IS a big one. So wish me luck and toss a bucket of baby dust in my direction. I head to my FIRST IUI in the morning!!!! I am very excited.

Ultrasound Tomorrow.

Having my second follie ultrasound tomorrow in the afternoon.

I hope to have 20mm+ follies on BOTH sides! I'm thinkin' 8 of them!

That would be fantastic.

Wish me luck and drop some baby dust--I'll tell you how it goes. I love those follie photos!