Didn't even get to POAS.

BFN. BFFN.

I was so looking forward to peeing on that stick tomorrow. I have been so anxious this cycle. I thought the IUI was our "cure". We were hoping my CM (Cervical mucus) was hostile as Hell. We prayed that the green ninjas were kicking ass in the entry way of my baby house. Therefore, the IUI would bypass them and drop those swimmers off right at the egg. Presto embryo.

Apparently not.

My cramps actually woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:30am. I couldn't get to sleep until 1600mg of ibuprofen knocked me out an hour later. I knew what I felt yesterday morning were cramps!
I'm bummed to say the very least. I think I've gotten to the point where crying doesn't really occur to me anymore. I feel almost numb with the whole ordeal. Do I not care? Am I just subconsciously protecting myself? Am I holding back the floodgates waiting for the BFP? I'm not sure I will know until that day comes. All I know, is that I am sick of waitin'--and there's definitely no "patiently" about it.

So now what?
Now I have to go back to my new RE that I'm not so happy with after our first meeting. Not only did my DH and I wait an hour after our apt. time, but we left feeling like we were part of a drive by. First, he boldly declared upon first meeting me, that my OBGYN (Whom I've been with for about 15 years) was wrong about my PCOS diagnosis and that I don't have it--WITHOUT TESTING ME AT ALL. He declared it sounds more like endometriosis. Then, he said that I should go off Metformin--WITHOUT TESTING ME AT ALL. Then, said that we should just "try on our own" for two months so we could get to the "magical one year mark". Then, he contradicted himself by saying we should do two more rounds of IUI and then go to IVF.

Oh, and did I mention how he spent most of the time implying how I am overreacting and being worried for nothing? Yeah. He made me feel like I had no idea what I was talking about and that I've basically wasted my time and money worrying about this. I assume that also means he must have thought I was wasting his time as well. Ironic since he wasted an hour of our time before we were called back to see him.

So where do I go from here? What do I do?

I don't know. I suppose I'm going to call the RE office and have them send my Rx for Clomid and HcG again. Then do the u/s (Ultrasound) and hope for a good follie or two. IUI? I suppose, unless he changes his mind again.
I'm just frustrated and bummed out. My new (VERY EXPENSIVE) RE isn't supportive, but I don't know where else to go.

What I do know is, I'm taking tomorrow off. (Gotta pregnant high school student in class--can't stand to face her tomorrow).