Frosties on board!!!

SNOWBABIES! FROSTIES! SNOWFLAKES!!!

These are our two blastocysts currently residing in the ute. DH is typing this for me right now (Hi everybody!) since I am currently on day two and a half of self-ordered bed rest.

The FET was on 3-11-11 at 11:45 -- suppose to be at 11:45. To make a long story short the time the actual FET took place was 12:35 PM. When the RE finally came in he said that we had two embryos ready to go. I asked if these were the two highest quality blasts that were suppose to be thawed as discussed with the nurses several times before the FET. So, I questioned, since things often go wrong, "Is our 6AA one of the two?" Our smart ass RE quickly replied, "You don't have a 6AA embryo." I said, "Uh, yes we do. The nurses told me about the 6AA several times and I've seen the paper work. They were also suppose to unthaw the highest quality embryos first." He then, in an attempt to prove that he was right, because he never thinks he is wrong, told the embryo techs to give him the papers back and, lo and behold, I was right. As I knew I was because I had seen the papers a bazillion times before.

What happened next is something I question to this very moment. Instead of admitting that they made a mistake it seemed like he was doing nothing other than covering his own ass. He babbled on about something to do with the 6AA not being the best embryo, blah, blah, blah. This of course to me is ironic since he had no knowledge that we even had a 6AA embryo a few seconds ago. Also, ironic that they have a grading system that means nothing.

So, what's inside the ute currently? A 5BB and a 4BB... I think.

I felt like from that point he was more agitated than anything and he felt like having a conversation about the crappy governor and bad excuse for a repair bill that is screwing Wisconsin since my husband and I are both teachers. A 15% pay cut is not exactly the best stress reliever during and FET procedure. Especially when the RE lives in a different state and has no idea what he's talking about... again.

To add to this awesomeness, the two nurses running the ultrasound machines couldn't even find the freaking uterus on the screen. They actually had to switch jobs at one point.

So, the moral of my story, the RE office was clearly not on its "A" game. I was the only FET that day and the last appointment. I was the only one in the back office and I could tell I was not their top priority. This PISSES ME OFF. But, I'm suppose to be calm, right?

So, right now I'm trying to ignore the stupidity of nurses on cell phones and people that can't do their jobs, when I'm doing way more than my part.

So, how do I make myself feel better about this whole situation? I ask for FET success stories on the chat. I look at my clinics success rates, which are clearly good for IVF, but not as hot for FET, and make DH prepare mac and cheese for this afternoon.

In other news, one of my blasts had hatched before FET. Kinda cool, huh? If you see the top picture, part of its goo is spilling out of its shell. Statistics say, this Wednesday, 3-16, would be the last day for implantation to occur. I am really going to try hard to do absolutely nothing until Thursday morning despite the fact that I have to go to work everyday this week. How am I going to do this? I have no clue. I'll let you know how it goes.

House arrest, day 3.

The days since ET have flown by laying in bed. It's the next week until BETA that I am afraid of. I have no idea how I'm going to think of anything but the two blasts in my ute! I have to go back to work tomorrow, catch up, do lesson plans, grade, stress, do two photo shoots and somehow stay low-stress and motionless until next Monday's BETA. (Which I will be thinking of all day THAT day).

So what happened over the last few days?

Saturday:

DH survived the night of being sick and was one hell of a trooper. He drove us down to the RE around 10am. At 11:15am we arrived and were taken back into our little 'curtained room'. My bladder was wayyyy full and ready to go. (You need a full bladder for this procedure so it will actually 'lift' up your uterus at a better angle).

Very soon afterwards, we were taken back and I undressed on the bottom half. I laid back and waited for the RE to arrive. He asked us how many we were putting in. We both said, "TWO!!!"

He put in the "spreader" and cleaned off my cervix (the worst part). Then they turned on the BIG screen. DH and I could see it all (The ultrasound) on a huge TV. He then put the catheter into my uterus. We could actually see it moving on the screen.

He then asked us to identify our embryos on the screen. They switched to the microscope and the was our last name, in huge letters. We didn't even see the two little dots that looked like to tiny water drops staring back at us. They looked like eyeballs!!! They were the cutest thing I've ever seen. DH and I will never forget it. Our blasts! Our babies!!!

They then sucked them up into the tube and we watched them slip them into my cervix through the catheter. Crazy. Two BB blasts into my ute!

RE said, "Looks like twins to me." He said he thinks it looks really good for us.

That was it. It was over. VERY low pain. It was an amazing experience and I got to leave with the photo of our little blasts!

The nurse rolled me back out to my room where I laid still for almost an hour. I talked with DH and listened to music, mostly Michael Jackson :)

At 12:47, I got to pee! I was so worried that I'd lose the blasts during the process--but I know that is silly.

Afterwards, DH and I packed up and left for home--all FOUR of us.

For the rest of the day DH and I laid around the house. DH moved the bed in front of the TV downstairs and we watched TV and talked about how crazy this all is.

The highlights from Sunday are the same except for one. The nurse called from the RE's office and said "Incredibly, ALL of our embryos are blasts and made it to freeze!" That's FOUR snowbabies!!!

To celebrate, we sat on the couch and bed like lazy butts! It was great. My back is hurting for sure, especially since we are still doing progesterone in oil shots nightly.

Today, Monday, DH went back to work. I am trying to ignore school work and take it easy. But now I have these THREE HUGE estrogen patches on my lower abdomen. DH helped me place them before he left for work. I swear they make me feel weird and kinda dizzy. But it's necessary to support the pregnancy--So, bring it.

In the meantime, I will be careful about every step and laying in bed upon arrival at home each day. I really hope to see two bright pink lines at the end of this week. I hope that our beta gives us HUGE numbers.

Nuzzle in little ones, Mom and Dad can't wait to meet you!

'Twas the night before ET. . .

'Twas the night before ET and all through the house, DH was throwing up and puking his guts out.

Yeah, that's right. Could our timing be any worse?

Hopefully he'll feel better by the morning because our ET is set for 11:15am!!!

Last word from one of the nice nurses is that we still have all 6 embryos--but won't really know until tomorrow when we talk to them.

I am most looking forward to having the photographs of the embryos and them knowing that they are IN MY UTE!!! Does that mean I am prego tomorrow at least? Probably not. But I'm going to try and think of it that way. :)

But first one more sleep. I have to take a shower and cleanse myself of all smells and lotions. Then, I'm going to bed. Excited for what will happen in the morning!

Fertility report--IN!

Let's get right to the point--

Nurse called. She told me the following:

• 7 of my 8 eggs retrieved were fully developed and could be fertilized.
• Out of those 7, 6 were successfully fertilized! (Can't wait to get my embie photos!)
• Apparently they must look pretty good thus far because the plan she told me is different than what the RE said yesterday. We transfer, Saturday! Blast transfer!!!

Yep, that's right! A 5-day blast transfer.

• You can read more about 5-day blast transfers here.
• Implantation rates of 5-day blast transfers here.
• Success rates of 5-day blast transfers here.

I am excited because this is what DH and I were really hoping for. Not only are the success rates greater, but the chances of multiples are more controlled at this stage. In addition, this means I will miss no more school this week and will only take off Monday, by choice, to give my uterus and embryos more time to cozy in with bed-rest.

I've heard many contradictory things about "how long is enough" for bed rest. I tend to lean on the side of caution. If we've gone this far, extra time in bed can only help.

I found on my last IUI (the only that was successful) that I laid in bed much of that day. Knowing that I am dealing with a hydrosalphinx which could possibly prevent implantation, it seems only logical to give my embryos all the chance I can for successful implantation.

I am beyond excited to get going with the ET. Now that I know the date, I am getting antsy.

What sucks about all of this?

Two things:

1. I won't hear anything about my embryos or ET again until Friday afternoon. (See: I will be calling my favorite nurse and bribing her with chocolate to go and look at my chart).
2. I begin the progesterone and oil injections today. BLECH. I hear they are the worst! Seriously, the needle is HUGE. I shall take a photo tonight and post it later.

I am going to try and stay a lot more calm and relaxed over this week. I'm going to try very hard to not let students piss me off. I am also going to try to not stress out too much about work or this whole process. (Good luck, right?)

Although I have chosen not to do acupuncture during this cycle, I have still done for spa treatments and massage during the past two months. I hope even for a short time it has helped me to relax.

Right now I am still bleeding a bit and in some pain (down below) from the ER yesterday. With each step I can feel pounding down there. I cannot get up quickly or walk fast--at all. I hope this goes away by Friday or that is going to be one painful transfer.

Tootles, all! Looks like the necklaces and socks are working!!! Is it Saturday, yet?

CD9 and counting. . .

It appears I am VERY close to my ER.

The estimated date was 10.10.10. I think they may be right. It will most likely either be Sunday or Monday. Tricky when you are a teacher. I have to make and prepare sub-plans tonight for Monday in case I am not in. BAH!

Either way, it will be worth it--I just have to find the motivation to get my butt in gear.

In other news, Yesterday was a bit of a mess with scheduling my day. I was running on a tight schedule hoping to get back to school in time to teacher ALL of my classes that day. However, before we even got a few miles down he highway, there was a HUGE accident and it pushed us 30-40 minutes late. . . which of course threw everything else off for the rest of the day. I have to say though, with all the driving DH and I have been doing down to IL over the past few weeks, we are simply thankful it was not us in the fatal car accident.

Today, went much better. It was a halfway calm day. We went in, I got poked for blood work and an u/s and then DH made his "emergency deposit".

Allow me to explain: If there was any trouble with DH providing a "sample", "deposit", "splooge" on the ER date, we'd be screwed. So to take stress off of DH and to give us some added security, DH did a "just in case sample" that will be checked and frozen today. If for whatever reason he can't give on on ER date, they will just use the frozen sample from today. it's an extra 100 bucks, but compared to what this whole thing has cost us in time and money--that's chump change.

We also got more update on follie sizes. (See sidebar to right).

I'm pretty happy with where things are right now. In a way its good to know that not 43 follies have grown to 16mm. On the other hand, I wish more of them would grow faster and catch up with their bigger sisters. As long as they are big and strong or "Big is beautiful" as the u/s tech said today, then it will all be okay. (16mm is needed).

Hopefully, tomorrow is the last "during a school day" that I will have to travel to the RE and then to school. For ER and ET, when I'm back--I stay put!

BRING IT!!!

I can't deal with all of this right now.

I'm not sure how anyone can do this.

Story of my craptastic day:

I was woken up this morning by horrible AF cramps. Yes, the bitch is back.

Not only could I not go back to sleep, but the usual "lay in the shower" trick didn't work either.

This was AF from Hell.

In all my years of needing major medication for cramps, I can't remember the last time they were this bad. I tried 1/2 a vicodin. Nada. I tried sitting, standing, laying, crouching, falling wet from the shower onto the cold tile floor-- NADA. I tried another whole vicodin and still nothing! I was nauseous, tired, dizzy, and in serious pain.

To top it all off, nobody was home-- just me. I kept thinking, "Well, if I were to pass out on the floor right now and die, at least they'll someday find me clean."

It went one for hours. Finally, I forced myself to say ontop of towels on the bed without moving and endure the pain until I fell asleep. I slept until 2pm. Like. a. rock.

******

I awoke to the sounds of the doorbell ringing. Apparently some package that I didn't feel necessary to go and retrieve. By the time I go downstairs I decided to make some tea and call my RE's office and tell them I am finally on CD1. It was one long as Hell conversation.

The nurse told me that I could come in Thursday (The first day I can actually set-up my room for teaching) but not until 7am. When I asked if we could do the injection training afterwards (since I don't feel like driving another 2 hours and missing work just to do that 30 minute thing) she said, "We don't do them that early blah, blah, blah. . . "

WHAT?!?! What 'chu talkin' 'bout?

Then she told me I needed to make another appointment for a "Mock ET". Seriously. A mock ET? Like they haven't seen a vagina before? Or mine for that matter?!? I asked if it was like an IUI she said no, because they need to have my bladder full (aware of that) but then use a "dilator" to open up my cervix so they can pass the catheter through. (NOT AWARE OF THAT).

I love how every time I think I have been given all the information, they surprise me with wonderful bits of info like this. Oh and it gets better. . .

I told her I'll schedule it with her now so I can make sure I have a weekend available. She said, "We don't do mock transfers on the weekend." O.M.G. What the fuck do you mean you "Don't do mock transfers on the weekend!" When do you do anything? It doesn't seem to me like you are making time for someone who actually has to work full-time AND is coming to your clinic from out of state to do ANYTHING.

I'm beginning to feel like this is impossible. Like there is something always working against me. First the hydro, now this scheduling nightmare! I am already so aggravated. I'm not even going to go into the mess of trying to have my transcripts transfered. BAH!

I mean, seriously. What do they think I do? I am not in a profession where I can just take off any day of the week. (Correction: DayS).

I have a new job, in a new district, where I am in charge of an entire department. I cannot look bad straight out of the gate. NOR can we afford for me to get fired. I kinda need to pay for this whole cluster-fuck.

Now, I know. Some of you may be thinking, "This is just part of what you need to go through in this process."

BUT WHY?

Why? Why does it need to be made even more difficult than it already is? Can't someone keep their job and have a baby at the same time? Where is the compassion for couples that already have their lives turned upside down? The whole thing is a scheduling nightmare to begin with. Why can we not make an appointment for something that actually is schedule-able? I will gladly wait in the waiting room on a Saturday for an ER or ET to take place if I can get in before everyone goes home. Work with me here people. . . I'm only offering you tens of thousands of dollars.

*****

I don't know where I go from here.

Do I tell my new principal that I need about 10-15 days off in the next two months and when he asks. "Which days?" I say, "I dunno. . . "

Do I say screw the mock transfer? I know they got in with three IUI's, why do they need to charge me more money and more time off or this?

Do I push off this whole thing? . . . 'till when? When is it ever going to be a convenient time?

Until an RE's office becomes a little more compassionate and flexible, there may never be a better time.

What's my plan?

Go in on Thursday. Get the blood tests. Wait for results. Plead with them to let me go in on a weekend for the mock trial or skip it all together. If I decide to quit along the way, at least I tried, right? Bleeeeh. . . .