When enough is enough. . . .

When is enough really, ...enough!?

On the "bump" someone posed the question about how many IVF's do you believe you would do; would you let your RE decide for you and trust their advice?

This got me thinking. . . . WHen would I throw in the towel. . . could I really ever give up? Will there be a point when I can't go on anymore?

I've come to the conclusion that the short answer is: When I run out of money.

The Long answer?

Since we have already done one entirely OOP without refund and had a BPF turned to BFN we have used some of our cash. Now I am doing the FET with our first two frosties. . . and if we get bad news, another round with the other two frosties will follow.

Once all frosties are gone. . . we would move to a "Shared Risk" plan. It comes with three IVF cycles and any FET's.

If after three additional IVF's and FET's we are still not preggo-- I'd have to re-evaluate my mental state.

If we're still sane, I'd re-use the money we'd be refunded towards however many cycles it gave us. Then-- admit defeat; wave the white flag.

Hopefully, it won't come to that.

My wish for 2011. . .

I wish us all a better and more hopefull 2011.

There were many difficult things DH and I went through in 2010.

I begin the year with clomid and HcG shots. Timing our "intercourse" so that the romance became non-existent.

We moved on to IUI's and a new "Reproductive Endocrinologist"--whatever that is.

We finally became pregnant in July only to find out is was ectopic and had to be terminated. That was something I never wanted to go through again. I was very thankful it was during Summer vacation.

I began a new job-- and soon found out it may not be the one for me.

I started the process of IVF and moved to another RE in another state.

DH and I did the shots, the daily hour drive, the monitoring, the poking, the hoping and the praying. Our IVF was positive! But the number's weren't great. And we soon had to terminated another ectopic pregnancy-- this time without the comfort of staying at home on Summer break.

There were days I cried at the drop of a hat. I cried when DH left me for work-- I cried because I had to go to work. I nearly quit my job.

I've gained 20 pounds since May. All the hard work I put in to losing the weight before baby had come back on during my quest to have one pregnancy that lasts.

And now, I've ended the year by having a laparoscopy to remove any endometriosis and disconnect/burn both fallopian tubes. I'm now completely at the mercy of IVF and my RE.

I now count the days until February 16th, 2011--exactly 8 weeks after my surgery. The day I can begin FET#1. We have one perfect little snowbaby waiting for us along with three others that still look pretty damn good.

I can't thank you all enough for following me on this journey. Your kind words of compassion and encouragement really mean a lot to me. It keeps me blogging-- keeps me documenting this experience that sometimes feels like no one else understands. But we are not alone. An estimated 90-million, yes million, couples struggle with infertility across the world. 90 million couples who want what the rest of the world sometimes take for granted-- a chance to raise a biological child of their own.

While we may not have had all of our dreams come true this year, next year is another fresh start-- another chance to hope.

DH and I will go through more treatments this year; beginning our first FET cycle. While we hope that in FET we will finally find success, we are also preparing to begin the adoption process in July. In July we will be married three years. Korean adoption requires a thee year marriage minimum for all interested couples and we will finally meet that requirement.

Thank you all for sharing your struggles with me as well. Some of you I know from the "bump" chat and some of you have found me from other sources and blogs. My wish for you is to find the joy, happiness, and hope that you deserve! That your miracle will come in 2011 as well. After all "11" IS my lucky number.

As my cousin (who's a riot) said to me the other day...

"If you take "2011" and turn a "1" on its side on-top of the other "1"--you get a "positive" sign!!!!

May 2011 bring "positive signs" to all of us!

I am a teenage boy's dream.

Not a chance I will ever get knocked up again.....Well, without IVF/FET intervention that is.

Last Wednesday I had the long-awaited and much anticipated surgery. The last stand for our fertility. Now that the surgery is complete, there is nothing else we can do but hope and pray that the IVF/FET cycles work. The eggs are great, the sperm is kickin' and together we have made many a schnazzy embryo. Now those happy little embryos just need to find their final resting place in my uterus-- and stay there for about nine months. THE UTE EMBIES--THE UTE THIS TIME!!!!

Yes, both tubes have been disconnected from the uterus. However, with everything, there remains a TINY little nook on both sides where the embies could possibly still get stuck. But I'll be damned if that will happen again.

So what happened on Wednesday? (Other than a two day early vacation from school).

I first went to have a pedicure before I left so that if something happened to me during surgery, at least my feet would be pretty. Yes, basically I was scared shitless that I would not wake up from anesthesia--

But I did!! Holy crap, here I am!

I went in to surgery around 2pm. They wheeled me away from DH into the OR and made me transfer onto another bed with a hole near my keester. After I saw the anesthesiologist come in I felt a few tugs on my IV. Before I knew it, I was quickly put under. While I did feel like some time had passed since I was asleep, I of course didn't know it or even feel anything. What I do know is that I awoke with three bandages; one over the stitches in my bellybutton and one on each of the sides of my lower abdomen. Yikes.

They actually needed to give me FIVE doses of pain meds through my IV before the pain was lowered enough to go sit in recovery.

Once I was there DH showed up and sat with me for the next few hours. I spent most of the time trying to stay awake (very unsuccessfully) and making unsuccessful attempts at peeing.

The nurses first said they wouldn't let me leave until I took a pee. . . . well, now after 8 o'clock, we decide I will just take another dose of meds and sleep all the way home.

And that I did.

I actually couldn't pee until the next morning--strange. But I later found out that they did burn some endometrial tissue from on top and underneath my uterus as well as some from on my bladder. Not much (about stage 1 or 2) but enough that I am glad it has been removed.

Will this help our quest for pregnancy? I sure as Hell hope so!!!

We will have to wait until the end of February for me to heal before we can begin the FET cycle.

Two months (8 weeks) from the surgery would be February 16th, 2011. A late valentines gift-- I really, REALLY pray this is it. After all, eleven IS our luck number. 2011, . . . cold this be our year??? The baby (or babies) could be born before next Christmas. . . . making the laparoscopy more than worth every second.

For now, I will continue to sit and heal before the FET. I have just a bit of pain on my incisions. More uncomfortable than anything. Then, on the 10th, I will go back to see my RE (surgeon) as a follow up to make sure everything is in tip-top shape.

I HATE THE WAIT!!!!! AHHH!

Wish there was a better update.

I wish I had a better update.

Still bleeding with dark CM. . . awesome and gross. So done with that stuff.

Tomorrow is the 5 1/2 week u/s.

We will know for sure what's going on tomorrow---but nurse suspected today it COULD be another ectopic-- PLEASE BE GROWING IN MY UTE BABY!!!!

Ultrasound tomorrow at noon. 'Till then people!!!

BETA #3 IN!!!

Can you find Waldo? (DH)

232!

Finally something that not only doubled, but more than TRIPLED!

While this doesn't mean this is in the clear, it's the first BETA that had done what it was supposed to!

The nurse still was "cautiously optimistic" and kinda bummed sounding. But I think she could tell that I didn't give a crap! :) I was on cloud nine--whatever happens, it's great news for once! Be happy for us lady!

I got the call while DH was running his 1/2 marathon in Chicago.
It was a VERY early morning of BETA testing--5am early.
But right after DH started his run at 8am, the clinic called. I had to hold that in until DH was finished!

Funniest part is, when DH completed his race, I ran up to him and said, "232!"

He thought I meant how fast he ran, as in 2:32.00.

He later told me he thought I told him the race time and was bummed out. He figured I wasn't telling him because it was bad news.
A few minutes later, he finally asked me if the clinic had called. I laughed and said, "I already told, you--232!".

He was so happy. I got the best DH hug ever-- in fact I think he kinda cried!

For now we are happy with our news! Wednesday, we got back in for BETA #4!

STAY OUT OF MY TUBES, BABY!!!!!


***UPDATE***

RE's office called. The doctor doesn't want me to do another BETA--instead he wants me to stick with the early u/s on the 5th.

Good and bad I guess. I was looking forward to hearing how big our beta will be on Wednesday--but this means we will make it to ULTRASOUND!!!

Looking forward to it and hoping for the best! 'Till FRIDAY!!!

. . . and again-- STAY OUT OF MY TUBES, BABY!!!! Hope to hear you little heart beat(s)! :)

I'm STIMMING!!!

That's right people, I'm on the stimming meds. 225 of Gonal-F each day.

Here's how this all happened:

Thursday, September 30th, I awoke (very) early and headed to the RE. When DH and I got there we waited again for them to call us back. About 15 minutes after our apt time, we were called back. The nurse (not my usual, Sue) said I was missing an approval from my old OBGYN that said it was okay for me to proceed with the IVF cycle.

Apparently, way back over a year ago when I had my last Pap a few abnormal things appeared. I guess not enough to make my Gyno's office tell me about it, because I didn't know until now. Anyway, because of that they needed clearance from the doctor in addition to the report--which I might add was already a fiasco trying to get to them. Funny though, my RE's office saw this last week (9.20) and didn't tell me until the LAST MINUTE. Not to mention my old RE did our first IUI-- if they didn't think I should be pregnant they definatley wouldn't have given me an IUI or clomid 3x.

The nurse said I needed to get that to them TODAY or I couldn't get my stimming instructions for that night by 4pm. Nice. Aren't I supposed to be trying to stay stress-free?

She said she was going to fax them the letter they needed and hoped they'd return it right away, but that I still needed to call myself (again).

After that whole ordeal, we had to try and explain our new insurance. Why our IVF isn't covered even after they had approval from some dumb bitch at Humana. Then, I had to try and explain why we haven't paid two tiny bills because I am still in debate with the insurance company about them. This and then we had to pay them 9,100 dollars.

Then the real fun began.

First, I had my blood drawn so they could check my levels and give me stim instructions. Then, I went in with the foreign lady for my dildo cam apt. Yeah, that's right during my period. Get used to it ladies-- if you're doing IVF, it's just part of the deal.

Anyways, it was a little annoying, but still interesting. Look what the Lupron did!!! I have many a follie now!!!

(ABOVE: My ute and the tiny lining).

(ABOVE: Right ovary pictured, more on the left ovary as well).

Afterwards, we left and headed to breakfast (It was only 8am at this point). We indulged in the usual on-the-way-home stop-- The Cracker Barrel. PANCAKES!!!

When we arrived back in Milwaukee about 9:45am, we needed to take quick powernaps before we headed back to work (teaching) for the afternoon. Problem was I only got a 45-minute nap. This + Christine= CRANKY. Damn kids drove me NUTZ the rest of the day.

Finally, 3 o'clock came. I headed home. NO MESSAGE OF MY STIM INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE RE.

NONE.

So I called and asked if they got anything back from the OBGYN.

First the stupid girl at the front didn't know what I was talking about. I am so sick of having to tell her everything I want to ask the nurse BEFORE I talk to the nurse. Just let me talk to the woman, damnit! Why do I have to give you my life story every time I call?

When the nurse finally answered, she said they hadn't gotten anything from the OB yet and won't be able to give me my stim instructions until they get it.

I FLIPPED.

I went off on her. I bet she wasn't happy she had to take my call. I told her it was utter bullshit that they waited until THE DAY I needed my stim instructions to tell me I needed to get this info from my OBGYN. That if they didn't give the instructions to me regardless of whether they had 'clearance or not', I was going to take 225 units of gonal-F this evening with my 10 units of lupron, like I remember the nurse saying something about last week. I told her we've paid too much damn money and invested too much of our time and effort to f#ck this up because you guys didn't give me adequate time to handle this.

I had enough. I told her I was going to do my best and call the OBGYN and get the stupid fax back to them.

I called. They had to find the fax. FIND IT.

It was sent about 7:30am that morning. It was now 3:50pm. I told the lady, they needed to do this now, or I was screwed. I also mentioned how I was pissed no one told me I had anything abnormal on my last pap, especially since I was someone who had cancerous cells on her cervix that had to be removed within the last 10 years. (At this point, I was pissed about a LOT).

She said she'd find a doctor to sign it and fax it to them.

Not 3 minutes later, she calls back.

Apparently, she said they HAD faxed the letter signed by my doctor last TUESDAY the 28th.

Yep.

The 28th. . .

Mmm, Hmmm.

"Okay." I said. "I'll let them know."

She said she'd fax it again, just in case.

I called back the RE's office. I tried to tell the stupid girl at the front desk they'd already sent the f'n fax two days ago, but she put me on hold before I could even finish my sentence. Ass.

When the nurse answered, she jumped right into, "Okay, we have it--now here's your stims instructions--are you ready? Are you ready!??!!?"

I was so damn anxious to get the damn thing started and be done with the bullshit of cleaning up everyone else's messes, I just said, "Yep! I'm ready--got my pen!!!!"

The plan:

Thursday 9.30: 225 units of Gonal-F--"RIGHT NOW." She said. (Uh, okay). Then 5 units of Lupron and the baby aspirin.

Friday 10.1: 112.5 untis of Gonal-F in the AM. 112.5 units of Gonal-f, 5 units of Lupron, and the baby aspirin in the PM.

Saturday: Same as Friday.

Sunday: No drugs until you see us at 9:10am for your next u/s and blood work.

I also had to order another Gonal-F pen. $780 bucks a pop!

In the meantime, the gonal-F pen it a breeze. Yet, I am still a cranky bastard. I have constant headaches, and my NECK and BACK ARE KILLING ME. I already set-up two massages for the next two weeks.

So there you have it. I feel my posts getting more testy as time passes and medications increase.

Therefore, as a public service announcement to the RE's office: You better have your shit together when I see you next--'cause I'm stimmin'.

I'm bleedin'!!! And happy about it.

Never thought the day would come.

1. That I'd be happy to have cramps.

2. That birth control would actually control my cycle--it's never worked before.

3. I'm within two weeks of my ER (Egg retrieval).

This whole "AF-Like" period apparently isn't a real period, it's more like a short term version. I was not aware of this until the nurse told me last week. Either way, sure feel like a period.

The first u/s and blood work tests are tomorrow morning at 6:50am! Yeah, all the way across state lines. . . then I go to work. Blech.

I am also awaiting the start of my stims. Not so I can get shot up several time a day, but so I am closer to D-day . . .or ER/ ET days. . . whatever.

I'll update with the schedule and meds protocol tomorrow or Friday. Night all, wish me luck for good test results!

MASSIVE UPDATE.

So last time we chatted, I was about to head to our CD3 tests.

Then . . .LIFE GOT IN THE WAY.

So here I am, almost two weeks later. But with lots of info to share.

First of all, we got there at the crack of dawn, asked lots of questions and then did the many blood draws. My tests were just fine and nothing was out of the normal.

We did later find out that DH's sperm count was something like 241 million. That's a lot--That's great. The bad news? One of the other aspects of the swimmies is not so good.

The motility or morphology (too confusing that day-- can't remember which) is only at 3%.

I am really hoping this means I won't have to do ICSI, but who knows now. This just gets more annoying each day. . .

Either way, for the most part everything was still a "go" for us. Bring it on.

9.20.10-

I went in for the scary "Mock transfer".

The nurses told me it would consist of three different metal catheters being inserted through my cervix and into my uterus--they will get progressively bigger as they go--Awesome.

I also had to arrive with a FULL bladder.

On the way down there I took 3 vicodin (by my own choice) and drank tons of water. I also donned my lucky green socks, and three lucky necklaces; one from my exchange buddy, one from our honeymoon (I always wear) and a new horseshoe necklace I bought myself for luck. I was ready--kinda.

When we arrived at 1:45pm, I first explained to the billing lady how screwed up our insurance is and that although they claimed at one point that they will pay for IVF--they say another time that they really won't. They are also not paying for tons of other bills that were NEVER coded for infertility--they need to pay this shit.

After talking with her, we went back to the u/s room. They began by checking to see my uterus on the screen--but apparently I hadn't drank enough water for them. (When your bladder is full--or inflated-- it raises your uterus up so it's easier to insert something straight) So I drank another bottle and waited. . . they checked me. . . still not enough. . .drank another bottle of water . . .waited. . .finally I was "good enough".

By this time I was good and juiced on my vicodin (the plan) and could only feel the last bit of the procedure. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had DH right there with me. But I definitely felt cramping. I also had to pee every five minutes for the rest of the night.

Before we left I asked about a billion questions. The nurse must have wanted to kill herself. But we were literately signing lives away; what to do with the embryos, do we freeze DH's sperm, how will you pay this 10,000 dollars, sign, sign, sign. . .

On the way home, we stopped for Mexican. I figured it was a fair trade-- Hector's Mexican is not ordinary Mexican food.

9.22.10-

MEDS ARRIVE.

DH took off of work today (because I can't) and waited for the refrigerated box to arrive. It needed a signature and we couldn't just have them leave 1500 dollars worth of meds on the back porch. So about 10am DH called and said it had arrived. I was antsy the whole day to get home and see what was there.

Once I arrived home, I opened the fridge to see DH had thrown everything in the fridge. Including the needles and alcohol wipes. HAHA. When I asked him about it later, and I told him only one box (out of 15?) needed to be refrigerated, he said, "I just wanted to be sure . . ."

At 8:30pm tonight, DH gave me my first shot of Lupron. We read carefully. We even googled what "subcutaneous" meant. He washed his hands, wiped off the bottle and filled the syringe with 10 cc of the Lupron. I squeezed my gut-fat and POKE! It felt a bit strange after a minute, but it went away soon after. I am also finishing up the tetracycline from the mock, birth control, and will stay on baby aspirin until further notice.

Next up?

My first baseline test and u/s is on 9.30.10.

But more importantly, DH's and my 5 year dating anniversary is tomorrow. So much has happened to us in such a short period of time. From just knowing each other as friends to now, going through our first IVF cycle. I don't know what I would do without his love and support. :)

CD3 testing for DH and I, plus injects training.

I'm not sure what it all entails but we've got to be at the RE by 7 am tomorrow morning to do the blood draws and injects training. That means we need to leave no later than 5:45am . . . BAH!

I assume they will get the tests back quickly and we can get our "tentative schedule" for the rest of the IVF process.

I'll update when I get back . . . yeah, before I head to work.

So get this shit.

Today was my first meeting with the new RE.

At noon, we drove an hour into another state to get there. Once we arrived we headed into the ultrasound room for another appointment with the dildo cam. A lady with one of the thickest accents I have ever heard introduced herself (I think?) and did the procedure. It was a lengthy u/s. It lasted at least 20 minutes, during which she told us I had a "beautiful uterus . . .just beuatiful". That was about the last good news we heard that day. She told me it looked like my blockage was in my right tube, not my left. I told her my ectopic was on the left side-- I was sure of it. She said she didn't see anything in my left tube, but the right side definitely had something in it, a mass of fluid.

After we completed the u/s, blood pressure, weight and height check, we sat in the waiting room . . . and sat. . . and finally I asked if we were going to have to wait another 30 minutes past our appointment time.

Eventually they took us back to see the new RE. He's an interesting guy. Kind of a smart-ass and not easily impressed--unless you have statistics to show him. He discussed my u/s photos with us. He began by telling me how I have a hydrosalpinx or "hydro" in my right tube. (See above: Third picture from the bottom on the left). Basically this means my right tube is most likely blocked from receiving follicles from my right ovary. Not only that, but he also said (and I have also read) that even though we "bypass" the tubes with an IVF, if this is not treated before the IVF procedure if can lessen the chances of getting pregnant from IVF. IN addition if I do become pregnant from IVF the "hyrdo" fluid my leak into my uterus (since the blockage won't let it out the other end like it is supposed to) and harm the developing fetus, causing miscarriage.

FUCKING GREAT.

He suggested I should (without actually saying "I need to") have another HSG to see if in fact fluid is getting through as it was in January. If there is no blockage, I should be fine. If there is a proven blockage, he said I need to have a laparoscopyto either clear the blockage or "better yet" remove the whole tube. . . . . . . What? Here is my Re's explanation of the process.

Not only do I not want to have any of my organs removed, go through another painful HSG (or pay for one), or have a painful laparoscopy procedure that can cost up to $27,000-- I don't have time time to even take off for any of these procedures! Especially the 2-3 weeks off he recommends after the lap! I am starting a new job at a school. Teachers can't just take weeks off.

This is insane. I just want to get to the point where we are making progress. I am sick of falling into a new hole every time I try and move onto the next step. I am sick, tired, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. I haven;t felt like myself since the beginning of JULY!

I feel depressed. For the first time in this whole journey, I feel like I'm losing hope. I don;t know if I can see the light at the end of this tunnel anymore. Before, I felt hopeful almost happy about the experience. Telling myself, "This will make me so much happier when we finally have our baby . . . blah, blah, blah."
Now, I'm not sure if we will ever have our own biological child.

On the way home from the RE apt, I told my DH, "Maybe we should just adopt."

And I was serious.

I'm not sure how much more disappointment I can take. I haven't even begun the IVF process and I'm already discouraged. That's not a good sign. I just want this so damn badly my head is making me think crazy. I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat the last few days. DH and I got into an argument the other day and I pretty much snapped. I really don't know if this is something an IF therapist is really going to make me feel any better about. Maybe the planned acupuncture will help?


All we can think to do is call my old RE and see if he will do an HSG with sedation. He had discussed with us on Aug 5th that we should do that if we wanted to continue with IUI's. He also said he gives patients some kind of pain relief (sedation, meds?) to help and he doesn't know why all doc's don't do that for the procedure. I agree completely. If he gives sedation with the procedure, I will have one with him and see if anything is blocked or not.

If it isn't blocked we move onto IVF at the new RE without a worry. Most likely doing the 100% money back plan.

If my tube or tubes are blocked we will try one IVF and FET cycle OOP (out of pocket without a "shared risk" plan) at the new RE hoping and praying to get a BPF and successful delivery.

If we do the IVF and FET cycle and no baby, . . .we will see what we want to do when we get to it. Perhaps a lap to remove the blockage/ hydro/ and possible endometriosis. Then, we hope to be able to try again.

I am somewhere around ovulation right now. I have one follicle (good size about 18+) on my left side. But I am afraid to try again "naturally". What if my fears are right and both tubes are shot? I don't think I could handle another ectopic pregnancy.

So I wait for AF to return for the first time since June. When she's here, I will have to do CD3 tests, and a possible HSG.

Good God, what have I gotten us into?

It's official--IVF time.

Today was the "What the fu@k happened" meeting with my RE.

There was a lot I got to discuss with him. Usually he acts like a dismissive "douchecanoe" (Word credit goes to a lady on my IF chat). I have never actually had a sit-down talk with him since our first consult meeting back in May. As I said then, I felt like he didn't treat us as an individual case and ignored all my concerns. However this time, I think he realized, at least a little, how this was now a real issue--I was NOT worrying without reason.

We discussed briefly how my left tube could now be compromised. He wanted to perform another HSG. This time using a sedative--he was surprised that my OB didn't use one at all. (I like hearing that!) We could then figure out if we wanted to clear out the tube (if it was possible) or remove the tube all together. As long as that went well, we'd do another IUI (#4). The problem is, that is if the issue is with my tubes, and perhaps in both, the chances of having another ectopic are pretty damn high. And we don't want to go through that again.

Then, I brought up the only other option. IVF.

He said he was just about to talk about that. A good sign. I had actually thought he'd think I was moving to fast into it, that I was too anxious. But--happy to hear, it seemed like that was the step he was thinking was the best option. Although IVF cannot totally rule out an ectopic pregnancy, it is a very small chance.

He went into many of the details about the process. I would begin on birth control pills either when AF had begun again or when my HcG was negative. (Making the beginning date possibly as early as sometime in September? YAY!)

But we'd have to wait for the methotrexate to completely clear my system, the HcG to be zero or less, and (optionally) AF to begin. He said my current nausea, headaches, exhaustion, aches, pains, and general sickly-ness will not go away until these things have all occurred--possibly another 3-4 weeks! BAH to that!

Anyways, after clarifying how IVF works (more on that as time get closer-- It'll be easier to explain when I know my timeline) I asked about the "cysts" the radiologist had seen and my "inverted uterus". My RE said the cysts we probably just from the follicles I had during pregnancy. The uterus is pretty common. No different than being left handed instead or right.

So now the biggest decision we have to make is what financial plan will we agree on. They are very different and have many different (unknown) possible outcomes. Not to mention we still have not met with the new RE in IL.

The biggest deciding factors are: (I hope this makes sense...)

The packaged plan includes 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FET's (Frozen embryo transfers). However, if I have extra embryos left over after the FET's WHY NOT JUST USE THOSE AGAIN??? The plan only covers one FET per cycle (Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET; Fresh, FET). But If they harvest and successfully grow more than they put in, they would just freeze them and make me go through a whole new cycle-- $3000 worth of meds and all when they could just try again with another round of FET with the remaining embryos. It just seems stupid to me to go through more money, more painful ER (Egg retrievals), and go under anesthesia again when they could just use the eggs they already have!

Furthermore, if I don't get pregnant until the third IVF cycle, I could have a HUGE number of embryos just SITTING in the deep freeze! What do we do with them then?!?!? My RE says he'd only like to put in ONE embryo at a time (at least for the first round). I could potentially have dozens of frosty babies left over! DH and I have always talked about having only TWO kids. What happens if we have twins? What do we do? What if we have one and then use the "frozens" for FET later down the road for another child--and STILL have tons left over????

I know I'm jumping the gun and thinking of a happy scenario where we get pregnant. But I need to think about ALL the possibilities before we move forward with this.


I know there are many other factors surrounding this. Including what to do with the embryos that could possibly be left over. Donate them to couples? To stem cell research? "Destroy" them? Freeze them until I'm 45? We are at a loss right now. There is a lot of talking that needs to be done before we more ahead with this. Luckily--looks like we've got some time.

ANY SUGGESTIONS? Experiences???