15 weeks along and so much to do.

It's been a few weeks since I have posted.

Some days, I wish I didn't spread myself so thin between homelife and volunteering for the March of Dimes.  Other days, like today, I get to talk to Moms and Dads in the NICU and share stories from the "other side"-- life after the NICU/NPCU.  I feel useful, even for a little bit.

I am also trying hard to exceed our fundraising goal from last year for the March of Dimes Walk in April.  I have a few new members this year to our team and am hoping it can boost our total, as I am usually the sole fundraiser.

In other news, I was sick with the strangest symptoms last week.  They included: Headache, body aches, nausea, low-fever, exhaustion, swollen glands and later changed into painful fingertips and feet; strange bruising and blistering on my heels, toes and fingers; rashes that appeared over most of my body, both when hot (from the shower) and at various times during the day.   I still have no idea what it is/was.  It has almost resolved itself now, just over a week after it began.  I hope it isn't something that will flare up occasionally during the rest of the pregnancy.

Yep, Baby is this big.

Current stats:
Weight Gain:  
I had lost about 5 lbs during my "flu/bizarre" sickness episodes" but then we went to "Red Robin" to celebrate out Birthday's and I think I may have gained it all back.  All together, since FET, about 6 lbs.

Cravings:  

Lots of juices and water.  I've found some new fruit juices that contain fresh veggies and fruit juice that I drink in high volume.  For food, I am craving some boxed Annie's creamy deluxe Mac 'N Cheese today, but typically, I'm not very hungry and end up eating a lot of popsicles, fruit cups and veggie wraps.

Nauseous: 

During my strange sickly period last week and I it on and off, but I am hoping it has run its course, especially since I had my last PIO injection Saturday!  Horray!  Now acne, clear up and clear out!

Belly touches: 

DH, the boys, a fellow MoM friend of mine rubbed it (after asking) when we meet up for dinner about two weeks ago.

Feeling:  

In a great mood today!  It's 55 degrees and sunny today! I even cracked the patio door to let some fresh air in :)  That coupled with daylight savings and volunteer stuff today made for a great day so far.  I needed this, desperately.  The boys slept until 8:15am! 

Boy or girl: 

We miiiiight find out this Thursday.  We have another perinatologist appointment with ultrasound.  At 16 weeks, there is a chance, especially if it is a boy, that we may find out.  Or at least gets darn good initial guess. 

Emotional state:  

Today being a "good day" and the weather temporarily being more Spring-like has improved my mood for the time being.  Winter-blues/depression, whatever you want to call it, effects me quite a bit.  In addition, if I can make it to March 28th without losing my mind, I'll have a few days to spend in Arizona visiting my Grandparents without the kiddos.  Giving me a temporary break.  Then, I arrive home in Early April and only have one more week until DH's Spring Break from teaching begins!  Before I know it, it'll be May!

Movement:
Not likely.  But it won't be long from now. 

Maternity clothes: 
Wearing maternity jeans and/or stretchy pants almost full-time now.  Shirts are still non-maternity, but since it's chilly I can wear a lot of sweaters when I go out and tanks at home.  

Baby purchases:  

I haven't bought anything.  I'm trying to wait to hear what the gender is.  That way, if it's a girl, I can buy a few fun "baby girl" items.  If its a boy, I will go through what we already have from the twins and see if there is much I need to purchase.  It is so hard to find 'gender neutral' things.

Nesting: 

Once the warm weather hits, I'm going to have a "Spring cleaning" fiesta!  I own a few obsessive cleaning books for weirdoes like me, that I like to make a checklist out of.   The real nursery work will begin once gender is known and Spring Break arrives in mid-April.

A little squishy prune.

10 weeks!

Baby is a fetus!  We have had a few rough days over the last couple of weeks but now we look forward--baby is the size of a prune!

Current stats:
Weight Gain: About the same as the last few weeks.  I haven't been very hungry, especially at the end of the day.  Maybe 5lbs since I had the FET in December.

Cravings: Similar to the last pregnancy, I'm craving a lot of beverages: caffeine-free soda (cherry 7-up), malts (any flavor), cold water, small coffee, decaf teas, etc.  For foods, I did have a cupcake craving the other day as I drove by the local cupcake place.  I bought four cupcakes but it took DH and I four nights to eat them.  We each had half per night.

Nauseous: On and off over the last week and a half.  Mainly in the morning and evening.

Belly touches: DH only.  I'm not big on that to begin with. I'm trying to enjoy the idea of it since this is the last time. :)

Feeling: Tired and a bit cranky. Chasing after and taking care of the boys all day is beginning to wear on me.  I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I also have RLP throughout the day which usually stops me in my tracks.


Boy or girl: I have begun to feel good with either option.  There are many benefits to both.  DH is saying "girl".

Emotional state: Kinda cranky and feeling a bit detached.  I miss my Zoloft-- I could hug it. This Winter SUCKS.  I feel like we get snow every other day and have had one of the coldest Winters in 20+ years.  We are stir crazy.  Even the boys' Y class has been canceled twice due to the cold. 

Movement: Nothing yet.  Just "little Squishy" hip-dancing on the u/s sans.

Told anyone yet?: DH has had to tell the principal at his school from day one--and had to tell her 'fill-in' on Thursday because of the bleeding situation.  I also told a friend of mine who is also preggo since she knew about the FET.  (She works at my Pharmacy and knows every med I take).  We are planning to tell family this weekend and other people around Valentine's Day.

Maternity clothes: I bought one pair of black stretch pants and two dresses at Destination Maternity a couple weeks back.  I've worn the pants but the dresses will have to wait for Spring. 

Baby purchases: I've tried to resist until I know the sex of the baby.  We have SO MUCH boy stuff.  There are a few girl clothing items I bought months/years ago in hopes that one day I would have a girl (by whatever means). 

Nesting: Until people know, I think it would be hard.  (Outside of basic cleaning).  We have to turn the office or guest room into the nursery.  

It's been a long week.

No Joke.  A long week.

Last Friday, the 24th (9w1d), I awoke to pee for the 2nd (or 3rd?) time that night.   Unfortunately, I found that I was bleeding-- enough that no matter how many times I wiped, I had toilet paper covered with bright red blood.

Awesome.

I immediately told DH and got my phone to call the 'emergency line' for my OB.  Keep in mind this is about 6:15am.  I thought it was over.   I listened as the on-call doc asked me questions about the last time we had sex, activities, etc.  Nothing that was too alarming.  But as I talked I started to realize what this could be.  The panic of having a third baby turned to the desperate hope that it wasn't over.  I hung up the phone and I cried.  DH stayed home from work, giving up another sick day.  That mean one less day at home with (hopeful) baby 3.0.  (We have zero paid maternity/paternity days as teachers).

I then had to wait until 8:30a to make an appointment for an u/s that day.  The next apt wasn't until 12:45p.  So I laid low and waited. . . . .awake for most of it.

Once I got there (and waited some more) I had another vaginal u/s.  I was hoping to be done with those stupid things.  We saw baby moving around looking almost like he/she was doing some kind of hip-shaking dance move.  Baby was so much bigger than the last time we had an u/s. Heart rate was much stronger at 170bpm.

It was great to see baby looking so well on the u/s but it also left me without any answers as to what caused the bleeding.  My OB (whom I have a love/hate relationship with) didn't give me much to go off of.  All I knew was that baby looked okay.  For that moment, I had to be happy with that.

I continued to have 'old dark blood' every day until yesterday, Thursday the 30th . . .

Yesterday I awoke to more bright red blood.  This time I felt a bit more familiar with the situation.
I again called my OB and talked to the doc on-call.  This time it was my OB.  Again I was told to come in for an u/s.  DH had already left for work, so I called and told him to go on with his day until I knew when the u/s appointment would be.  After a bunch of screwy phone calls trying to make an appointment, I finally got the one time they would give me (see: I had no choice) at 11:30.
Poor DH had to completely rearrange his schedule and take another 1/2 sick day as he had the only car with the boys' car seats and therefore I couldn't meet him at the doctor's office.

Once I got there I had to wait a long time to be seen by the u/s tech.  Again with the dildo-cam they looked at baby.  Baby was moving all about and had a strong heart rate of 173bpm.  Baby was also measuring just behind my EDD at 9w3d. (Currently 10w exactly on Thursday).
After the u/s my OB came in and basically said I wouldn't benefit from seeing my perinatologist for an u/s and that It's most likely SCH (subchorionic hematoma) (90% sure) and that I might have to just keep coming in for u/s to check on baby any time this happens.  Of course if I get far enough along and can feel baby move then I might not feel the need to come all the way to the doctor at those times.  She also was very blunt and 'blasé' about the fact that it "is or isn't a miscarriage and there's nothing I can do about it" blah blah blah.  She seriously has NO bedside manner at all.  I reminded her that this is our last embryo and shot at this so it's not such a flippant thing for me.  She has another patient "Stacey"--yes, she told me her name, (HIPA laws anyone?) that apparently has have SCH since the beginning and is 20w now with some huge clotting.  My guess is she will continue to compare me to her the rest of my pregnancy, whether it is the same or not. . . sigh.

So it has been a long, long, week.

I'm taking it easy as I am basically on pelvic rest again (no sex, no exercise) until further notice.  I will update with any further info I have about the 'new situation'.

8 weeks. Let's start some stats!

Yesterday, marked 8 weeks pregnant.  (Cue the "ute goggles").   I am still walking around in shock-- especially since no one really knows yet.  The principal at DH's school has known about our process so he could take time off.   My OB knows of course, but that's pretty much it.  

I made a few upcoming appointments for the boys and I.  I made a follow up allergy appointment for the boys in February (I'm still hoping the dairy allergy will disappear).  I also made a few upcoming OBGYN appointments for myself.  It should be about every 4 weeks until 30 weeks.  The next appointment is for the nuchal screening in February.  One week later, I will see the OBGYN to discuss the results and see if any further testing is needed.  March 21 is another general OBGYN check-up and all the way in April is the 20-week ultrasound.  That should be the latest we would know the gender of the baby-- YES, we are finding out.

Now, I give you....

Current stats:
Weight Gain: About the same, maybe 1 or 2 pounds.
Cravings:  Malts from Culvers, salads, sandwiches (veggie subs with cheese), oatmeal cookies.
Nauseous: Not really much.  Just a twinge every now and then. Exhausted more than anything.
Belly touches: Just DH.
Feeling: Some RLP if I move too suddenly and usually complete exhaustion.  I fell asleep watching 'Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood' with the boys today.  Although I am not at a paying job, staying home with the twins all day has proved to be much more exhausting.   My neck has also been 'jacked up' since Monday.  The right side has been extremely painful/uncomfortable.  It doesn't help that I cannot take any serious pain meds for it or my cold either.  Lastly, I have horrible acne everywhere on my face and neck.  WTH.  Currently, I'm going to start a search for a better facial product to help with it.
Boy or girl:  DH thinks it's a girl, "he just knows".  I'm unsure.  I don't think I would prefer one over the other after thinking of all of the benefits.
Emotional state:  I am very tired and very cranky.  I feel a bit depressed a lot of times.  Not being on Zoloft for the last several (6+) months has started to wear on me.  I'm worried that we've bit off more than we can chew.  

Then, I realize that the NICU, twins, PPD, etc have all made me gun-shy (for lack of a better term) about what things could/ would be like.  It won't be easy, but I'm trying to remind myself that only one of the three kids will be under 3 years old when DH goes back to work.   That makes it easier, right???