Bummed.

I've been really emotional as of late.

I keep wondering if the hormones for the IVF cycle are still screwing me up.

I haven't felt like myself for months now.

It sounds ridiculous, but every time DH leaves for work, I cry. Every. Damn. Time.

I (we) haven't had any time to grieve. It's been full-on work during the IVF cycle and since the u/s. How am I supposed to just move along and deal with normal life, selling a house and sassy high school kids while inside all I want to do is stay home and mourn the loss of our second pregnancy this year?

Sheesh.

Dh and I talked about what other options we have last night.

Do I quit my job?

Do I hang on until the end of the semester and then quit?

Do I take some time off?

Do I leave once I have the surgery and decide then if I will come back?

Do I grow a pair and keep plugging along like everything is fine?

There is no answer.

So what do I do?

I'm not sure yet. Crappy, stressful, and stupid as my job can be, I think I just needs to grin and bare it for now. Am I going to feel better for doing this, definitely not.

But I will be getting paid and staying on top with my employers who need to recommend me to other schools if I ever want another job again.

Maybe next year, I'll quit and take time to do more IVF/FET cycles or adopt.

Oh June, why are you so far away? :)