With conferences and the holidays, I've been swamped.
But there are a few updates since I've been MIA.
1. On 11.19 my BETA dropped to 13. Good news. But even better when yesterday, 11.27 it was negative. Finally. We can move on, physically, from this.
2. No deals on the house-- all our cleaning has been in vain thus far. . .
3. I've set up an apt, on Dec 10th, with my RE to meet and discuss the surgery on Dec 22nd. Yes, this looks like it is actually going to happen. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Some days I am so glad that the "tubes" will be out of the baby equation. Other days I have already begun to mourn the loss of my female reproductive parts.
But DH made a whole lot of sense the other day. . . I was going over my reasons for having the surgery and the other reasons why I am not looking forward to it. I told him even though I know both our pregnancies have been ectopic, I am feel like I am losing my 'fetility'; That with the tubes disconnected the reality is we will never get pregnant without IVF.
DH said something like, "I don't think we will ever get pregnant with them attached. You can't lose a function that you never had."
Although painful, it is true. I needed someone to say, "So what?!?! Get over it. If you want to actually have a baby, this is what you need to do."
The "natural" way has never worked for us and it most likely never will.
I couldn't bring myself to risk our other four embryos again. I need to do something different. Even if this doesn't 'solve the problem' at least there is no chance they will ever get stuck in my tubes again. If they're not in the uterus next time, I'll spend the next FET cycle rolling around in a wheel chair so those suckers don't fall out! :)
4. I'm beginning my yearly November cleanse again. This is year two. I guess that makes it a yearly event. My cousin gave me the idea last year when she was doing one. I needed to get off some weight, and it worked. I lost about 20 lbs. I kept it off until IVF meds about two months ago--and actually only gained about 10 back.
I'm hoping to lose 20 lbs again this time. Going for the magical 150lbs that I've been eyeing for so long.
When I was younger I was always around 140-150 at 5'5". Then, after sports and high school ended, I got up to the mid 160's. I reached 150 by exercising 2x per day and restricting my eating to less than 500 calories a day. Not exactly healthy. And obviously, I gained it all back.
Now 10 years after high school graduation, I need to lose some of this. Not be be vain, but for health reasons-- mine and the kiddos I'm hoping to soon be hosting for nine months.
So tomorrow it begins. Another round of the vegan cleanse. I'm going to be on it until the day of my surgery, December 22nd.
I'll post updates as I go along.
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