I keep wondering if the hormones for the IVF cycle are still screwing me up.
I haven't felt like myself for months now.
It sounds ridiculous, but every time DH leaves for work, I cry. Every. Damn. Time.
I (we) haven't had any time to grieve. It's been full-on work during the IVF cycle and since the u/s. How am I supposed to just move along and deal with normal life, selling a house and sassy high school kids while inside all I want to do is stay home and mourn the loss of our second pregnancy this year?
Sheesh.
Dh and I talked about what other options we have last night.
Do I quit my job?
Do I hang on until the end of the semester and then quit?
Do I take some time off?
Do I leave once I have the surgery and decide then if I will come back?
Do I grow a pair and keep plugging along like everything is fine?
There is no answer.
So what do I do?
I'm not sure yet. Crappy, stressful, and stupid as my job can be, I think I just needs to grin and bare it for now. Am I going to feel better for doing this, definitely not.
But I will be getting paid and staying on top with my employers who need to recommend me to other schools if I ever want another job again.
Maybe next year, I'll quit and take time to do more IVF/FET cycles or adopt.
Oh June, why are you so far away? :)
