Well how about that.

I've resigned from my high school teaching job this week.

It was a long, hard decision. But it had to happen. DH and I realized soon after we knew twins were coming that I would not make enough money to cover childcare for two infants. This next year, my numbers have dropped and I would actually end up PAYING to go to work while my children are in childcare. Yeah. . . that is not going to happen.

Our original hope was that I could take "the year off" and then decide later if I was able to convince family or find a cheap childcare whether I was coming back or not. But our current contracts say that I would have to come back to work for September and October before my "due date" in November. The problem is I will most likely deliver before my "normal singleton due date" and may even end up on bed-rest before. I don't need the added stress of worrying about all of that. It's just not for me anymore.

All my work this year (and the years leading up to it) to get this job and make it the best program and facility possible. . . and now I just give it to someone else. This is simply another example of how little money teachers actually make. *Sigh*

Oh well. Life will go on. I have always talked about how much I'd love to stay home with my children for a few years. Now it's here and I am having trouble making the adjustment. I'm sure when September rolls around and I have no meetings to attend or lesson plans to finalize or papers to copy in massive quantities-- I will be just fine with my decision.

I was at a party for retiring teachers last night. One of whom was my mentor and 'teaching idol'. Those that knew about my choice to resign were very excited for me and told me I'd never regret my choice. Many of them had made the same choice themselves-- even a few with twins. I really do feel I have made the right choice. I just need some time to understand that I have now given up all control of my life to two people that are not even born yet.

Now if we could just sell this house so we can buy one for the babies and start nesting!!!

14 weeks 1 day.

Babies are as big as lemons. My belly is getting obvious. I am getting heavier. . . eek! I saw the scale this morning and hoped I wouldn't gain that weight until the end of this week or mid-way through next week! Hopefully it'll even out tomorrow morning :)

Current stats:

Weight Gain: As of this morning, I am back to the weight I was at when I had the FET. Ugh. . . it's a lot.

Cravings: LOVE cola soda. Regular coke is my favorite in a glass of ice. :) YUM!

Nauseous: I seem to get it the most when I begin eating or drinking my OJ on the way to work. I also have it at work during the middle of the day every once in a while.

Belly touches: Of course DH and now I think my MIL has made a few attempts. I'm not so into people being inside my bubble. . .so I am trying to get used to it.

Feeling: Very sleepy. I could nap anytime during the day. You could literately point at me and say, "SLEEP!". . . and I could.

Boy or girl: After our perinatologist appointment, I am convinced there is at least one boy in there. I'm getting ready to bet on one girl and one boy :)

Emotional state: I cry at Billy Joel's, "Lullaby" song every time.

OBGYN: Eh, she's okay. I've only had one appointment with her so far, so the next time on June 15th will be a better test.

Movement: Pretty sure it's just gas :)

Told anyone yet?: Just about everyone possible! Parents, family, friends, co-workers, etc. . .

Maternity clothes: Major purchases at Destination maternity and Kohls. I love my new preggo jeans with the fabric flap on top. I also need shirts with more space in the belly area!

Baby purchases: Bought a few boppy covers for our pillows while they were on sale at Target.

Nesting: We are having a new roof put on our house this week so that this next weekend-- it'll be on the market! If we sell this sucker before September we will be in our new place before the babies come. If we don't sell by the end of August, we will have to stay here for a while and then I will prepare the nursery here. So. . . until we sell or the end of Summer. . . I won't now what is going to happen. Grr. Someone buy this place!

It's been a while. . . I've missed you. :)

Today is 14 weeks exactly.

I have been so busy (and tired) lately that I haven't taken ANY time to write the blog update for week 12 or 13! So much has happened, that I was intimidated by the massive job of explaining it all.

Here is my attempt to do it justice:

1. At 12 weeks 6 days (May 14th), we drove up to DH's parent's home and surprised them with the news. We had MIL open a gift for her belated Mother's Day and Birthday gift. It was a 'Grandparent's' book. . . she figured it out right away, but as she was doing this FIL got a phone call and went into the other room to talk to their real-estate agent. He missed the whole thing!

My MIL was crying and going on about it for some time. FInally, when my FIL was ready to come back in, we had him look at the book for the first time . . .and we waited. . .and waited. Finally, he asked if I was pregnant. He later told me he was afraid to ask in case that wasn't the surprise-- but I'm not sure how else you would take receiving a Grandparent book!

We then spent most of the day talking about the twins and giving them general information. We were not going to attempt to explain our IF troubles to them that day, but another time.

When DH's Brother got back from work, we convinced him to come over to his parents house. We did some small talk for a while before having him try and guess what his Mom received for her Mother's Day/ Birthday gift. Of course, he was never able to guess, so we finally handed him the first u/s picture--even before DH's parents. He then got it right away. We then passed the u/s pictures to my FIL, who then showed them to both cats before showing my MIL! :D

2. The very next day we had planned to surprise my parents during a Brewers baseball game. However, it was unseasonably COLD and rainy. My Mom called a few days ahead of time and said that we should cancel tailgating before the game. I then suggested that we just stay at their house and watch the game there while grilling on the deck. She agreed. . . at the time.

At this point I should probably point out that my Mom is a season ticket holder to the Brewers. Everyone else could careless about the team, but my Mom will go to games by herself. . . and in the rain!

So it shouldn't have been a surprise to me when I called that morning to ask about when DH and I should arrive to their house. She said that she and my Brother were planning to 'go to the game' and I'd stay at the house with DH and my Dad.

UH, WHAT?!?!?!

Not part of the plan. But this is my Mother. To make a much longer story short, I finally had to tell her, "Fine. . . but then you are going to miss it. That's all I can say."

She, in a very uncharacteristic inquisitive voice asked, "What do you mean???"

And with that, I knew she knew.

So we went to their place, cooked a pasta salad, and I stood around waiting for her to explode or for them to notice my "We are Fans" Brewers T-Shirt. (See below).

But alas, it wasn't that noticeable. So I finally asked my Mom to open her 'Mother's Day" gift-- the same Grandparents book we had gotten for my MIL.

When she opened it, she said, 'I knew it." I figured as much.

But I was glad she didn't tell my Dad. His reactions are always priceless and my Mom would love nothing more than to have one up on him! :)

At that point my Dad began calling his Brothers, Sister and every other neighbor and relative. It was a long line of funny phone conversations. Later, My Uncle and Aunt came to the house, followed shortly after by my Dad's business partner and neighbor with his wife.

It was very strange being able to talk about the babies or at least being pregnant and other people knowing. By the time we arrived home late that night I was exhausted. But despite our whirlwind weekend, we decided to call a few friends and tell them before doing a "work" and "Facebook" announcement the next morning. My announcement at work went something like:

"A PSA for Staff.

I am not fat.

I am Pregnant.

With Twins.

Coming this November, 2011."

It went over pretty well. I have never gotten so many emails in my life. Frankly, I'm pretty sure I received work emails from people I've never even talked to before!

3. We have had our OB appointment with our new doctor. So far she's okay. . .she made a big "oops" telling me that I will have to have an epidural during delivery. WTF. Only if I say so, lady!

Her response to that was, "Well everything you've done so far hasn't been 'natural' anyways."

SERIOSULY?!? Did that rude, out-of-line comment come from a doctor's mouth??? I may have had IVF, but that doesn't mean everything after it isn't and can't be as 'natural' as I'd hope it to be.

Don't get me wrong. If my babies are breech or having issues and NEED to come out via C-section, I will be on the table ready to go. But don't tell me I've already blown my opportunity to have a natural pregnancy and possible delivery. Conception is just part of this marathon, thank you. Ugh.

4. I have also had an appointment with the 'High-risk' doctor. Last week, we had very intensive and enjoyably long ultrasound. They looked at the stomach, legs, arms, fingers, nuchal fold, spine, etc. Baby B was very cooperative. Showing him/herself well and moving like a jumping bean. Baby A, on the other hand, was giving the tech enough problems that she asked for another tech to come in and see if she could find the umbilical cord better. But no such luck. Baby A was not in the mood that day.

What we did see was a little something on Baby B. . . I said, "Uh doesn't that look like a penis to you???" The tech wasn't sure, but when the doctor came in I asked again. She said, "Now I'm curious. . . zoom in there. . . " After a few seconds she said, "Oh yeah. That's a boy." Funny!

But at only 13 weeks, 1 day it seems hard to know for sure. I am now hoping that we have one boy and one girl. In fact, I'm wanting to put my money on it. :)

5. Last weekend, DH and I went to register for some items at "Babies R Us". We nearly had a heart attack when we walked in. If you've never been to one, it is HUGE and full of a million and one items that you don't really know if you need or not! We pretty much inventoried the store. I also left with a new sleep pillow that I like much better. The full length one from "boppy" is much more comfortable and just fits my body shape better.

I feel better having now set up our two registries at Kohls and Babies R Us.

The things I am most looking forward to are the Medela breast pump (strange I know) and the comfy gliders. We plan to purchase two: One for DH and one for me. That way both babies can be rocked in comfort at the same time :)

6. Destination Maternity!

I blew wayyyyyyyy too much cash at that place but it was pretty fun. I got to go maternity clothes shopping with DH--who was such a good hubby-shopper that day. I seriously ran out of things that fit right and pants that could button without me being completely uncomfortable in them. I now have a pair of jeans that fit, cute summer dresses, tanks and shirts.

7. The last notable thing from the past few weeks is that stroller shopping was a bust. Actually we know which stroller we want; The B.O.B. Dullie SE. DH and I love the stroller. It's good for runners like DH and it can comfortably carry two babies. . .but not two newborns. The stroller does not allow two car seat adapters on at the same time. Frankly it's next to impossible to find one that does allow to infant seats at once and still have all of the other features that we like. Grrr. How are parents of twins supposed to do this?!?!?

My FIL had a good point, though. We live in WI. If the babies are born in November, when exactly are we going to want to go outside with newborns? In the snow? Sleet? Freezing winter temps with two newborn babies??? I don't think so. The reality is we probably won't even use the stroller until March/ April and by then they can sit in the stroller without the car seats anyways.

So the plan is to wait until late this year or early next year so we can buy the newest model available.

Yes, it has been a long couple of weeks. I'm sure I left out a few things, but I would be amazed if anyone actually read this far anyways!!! :)

I will give my stats update this week as well-- I promise!!! My babies are lemons :D

Mothers Day-- 11 weeks.

Today is my first, "kinda" Mother's Day.

I awoke to DH bringing me breakfast in bed this morning the best way he knows how: Chocolate chip Eggo waffles, OJ and melon serves on a cookie tray. It was accompanied by a pink rose and two giant candy bars. I love that guy :)

We spent the rest of the day cleaning the house to prepare it to sell. The hardest part was going through my entire closet. I decided to pack up all clothes that are now, or in the near future will be too small (or inappropriate) to wear while being preggo with twins. I had to pack up five, count 'em, five boxes of clothes. (Plus the giant trash bag to donate). It was kinda sad to think, one year ago today, pre-IVF and FET I weighed 20 pounds less. Seriously. One year ago. My dress size was also two sizes smaller. *Sigh* Small price to pay compared to everything else I've been through to have these babies, but DAMN. My closet looks like a barren desert!

Today also marks 11 weeks and counting! Our babies are about the size of limes. This most exciting thing this week is going to see the new OBGYN for the first time on Thursday. More updates and 'calming' baby check-ups. I just can't believe it's real until each time I see them on the screen, jumping around like crazies.

Current stats:

Weight Gain: Still down about 5 pounds since the beginning, but slowly gaining it back.

Cravings: Still love pasta and apples are pretty good lately.

Nauseous: Beginning to come and go in waves. Some days I fell it mostly at night, other times I feel it all day.

Belly touches: Good 'ol DH.

Feeling: Still amazed at how quickly I am exhausted. I had heard you gain your energy back after the placentas are finished developing, but I am still pooped. Most days at work, I am fine until I sit down at the end of the day--and then there is no way I can get up!

Boy or girl: DH is beginning to waiver and perhaps for a boy and a girl. But again, we have no clue. It will be interesting to hear what pour families think.

Emotional state: I am still a cry a baby, but it doesn't seem to be a bad thing. I cry when people are happy--and I am really happy too!

OBGYN: Seeing her this Thursday for the first time!

Movement: Can't feel it yet.

Told anyone yet?: Nooope.

Maternity clothes: Now that I have 'cleaned' the closet, I think I will need to make a few new purchases within the next few weeks.

Baby purchases: Nothing new. Trying to sell the house quickly so we don;t have to fill this one up with twice the baby gear.

Nesting: I dream of it daily. . . but still hoping for that big move--so cleaning this one up to sell, I guess, is my way of nesting.

Tina Fey's Prayer for her daughter.

An excerpt from her new book, Bossypants.

Found this piece of gold posted on the blog, Momaster. Check her out, too.

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short - a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day - And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

-An excerpt from Tina Fey's new book -Bossypants, 2011

I am totally getting one of these.

Yep, why not deliver in style!?!

These are super fly. Too bad it's $50 bucks a pop, but they'll be in photos that last a lifetime, right? :)

I believe they are called "Baby be mine, maternity 'Gownies'".

10 weeks. Double digits!

Today we move into the land of fetus, no more embryo. (Or is it fetuses???)

Anyways, I've put a few more questions on the list since we are moving onto bigger and more exciting things.

Current stats:

Weight Gain: Down about 6-8 pounds, depending on the day. I ate at restaurants the last to nights and put on 2!

Cravings: Vegan meatballs, root beer, angel hair pasta.

Nauseous: Still bad towards the evening and night.

Belly touches: DH, of course.

Feeling: TIRED. Exhausted doing just about everything. I'm not sure how I am going to make it through the last 2 months of school. UGH. In addition, I found out that I have a 'kidney stone' in my right kidney on Thursday night. Back on another dose of antibiotics.

Boy or girl: DH still thinks they are boys. I'm beginning to hope for one of each.

Emotional state: Still cry at most things and also moody. DH can vouch for that. I am going to be even worse once I go back to work after Spring Break tomorrow.

OBGYN: Still awaiting the May 12th appointment.

Movement: None that I can feel. But we still see them bouncing around on the u/s.

Told anyone yet?: Around 12 weeks, we are planning to begin the announcements.

Maternity clothes: Pants are getting tight around the waist, but nowhere else. I bought a few 'maternity dresses' that can be worn now and later to fix that problem.

Baby purchases: Found a Christmas baby onesie on clearance at Kohls. Other than that, I have begun researching and choosing items for our registry. Fun stuff!

Nesting: Wish I could. We are still trying to sell the house first. This is not a house that works well for little ones. It's stressing me out a bit.