Hump day.

Well, not for DH and I.

More like half-way to BETA on Sunday.

I am very antsy and anxious to POAS! But I won't. This time I;m going to do this different. Mostly because DH and I are having a combined birthday party the night before BETA. The last thing I want to do is have bad news before the party. . .UGH. I don't know.

Of course it would be great to party knowing I had the BFP-- but I am just so nervous-- so used to disappointment. Not that I've gotten bad news at the BETA necessarily, but more the aftermath of the BFP has turned sour--each time. *Sigh*

4 days. . . dear Lord. Please give me strength to get through the week: Job, politics, home, IF and the stresses of life in general.

Yesterday, I screwed up the estrogen pills. Monday night I feel asleep without taking it. Tuesday morning, I took it ASAP. Then Tuesday night, I took one exactly 12 hours later, thinking that would help. But then I took ANOTHER one for night-time from my pill box with the other 9 pills I take each day. WHOOPS!!! I hope that is okay. I called the RE's office and they said it was fine :/

Now time for another PIO shot!!!

And for fun--

The snowbabies! Remember I said I picture them in winter hats and mittens???

To pee or not to pee . . .

I wanna pee on this damn stick tomorrow. But after looking back at my results from July, I'm afraid that my line will not show up on 12dpET or be so light that it's disappointing.

I'm afraid of a tiny beta--which would make me think one or both embies might be in my tubes again. The ectopic has made me "gun shy" about this whole process. I can't just be happy now when I get pregnant--Not at least until 7 weeks when I can see the ultrasound and know my tubes haven't exploded from the kiddos.

So I want to know--am I pregnant???

These PIO (Progesterone In Oil) shoots are a pain in my ass. A few days ago, DH was giving me my shot in the right side of my booty. When we pulled the giant needle out--blood squirted out like a pouting fountain--all over the white rug. Crazy, right?

I am hoping that I will have good (BFP) news very soon--so that I feel there is reason for doing all these shots and wearing these stupid estrogen patches that I hate. The patches come off all the time. They annoy me every time I move. Today they are lined up, three strong, on my lower back. Before that, I had my lower tummy tagged. Good thing it's not bikini season anymore! But man, everyday at 8:30pm our life has to STOP!

So do I POAS before BETA or not?

I'm not sure-- I'll have to decide tomorrow morning before I pee at the crack of dawn. But I've gotta be honest--I probably won't give the results if I do. I'd need to keep the "unsure-ness" of an "at-home-preggo-test" between DH and I until Monday afternoon. Then, when BETA arrives-- I'll let you in!

PRAY FOR US PEOPLE!!!! (All four of us! :D)

Now that's a line!