My BUMP exchange necklace.

Here is one of the necklaces that I wear to my treatments.

This is the necklace I received from the "Bumpf Elfster exchange". Danni225 sent me a very appropritate necklace. "Courage" is going to be my battle cry.

MASSIVE UPDATE.

So last time we chatted, I was about to head to our CD3 tests.

Then . . .LIFE GOT IN THE WAY.

So here I am, almost two weeks later. But with lots of info to share.

First of all, we got there at the crack of dawn, asked lots of questions and then did the many blood draws. My tests were just fine and nothing was out of the normal.

We did later find out that DH's sperm count was something like 241 million. That's a lot--That's great. The bad news? One of the other aspects of the swimmies is not so good.

The motility or morphology (too confusing that day-- can't remember which) is only at 3%.

I am really hoping this means I won't have to do ICSI, but who knows now. This just gets more annoying each day. . .

Either way, for the most part everything was still a "go" for us. Bring it on.

9.20.10-

I went in for the scary "Mock transfer".

The nurses told me it would consist of three different metal catheters being inserted through my cervix and into my uterus--they will get progressively bigger as they go--Awesome.

I also had to arrive with a FULL bladder.

On the way down there I took 3 vicodin (by my own choice) and drank tons of water. I also donned my lucky green socks, and three lucky necklaces; one from my exchange buddy, one from our honeymoon (I always wear) and a new horseshoe necklace I bought myself for luck. I was ready--kinda.

When we arrived at 1:45pm, I first explained to the billing lady how screwed up our insurance is and that although they claimed at one point that they will pay for IVF--they say another time that they really won't. They are also not paying for tons of other bills that were NEVER coded for infertility--they need to pay this shit.

After talking with her, we went back to the u/s room. They began by checking to see my uterus on the screen--but apparently I hadn't drank enough water for them. (When your bladder is full--or inflated-- it raises your uterus up so it's easier to insert something straight) So I drank another bottle and waited. . . they checked me. . . still not enough. . .drank another bottle of water . . .waited. . .finally I was "good enough".

By this time I was good and juiced on my vicodin (the plan) and could only feel the last bit of the procedure. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had DH right there with me. But I definitely felt cramping. I also had to pee every five minutes for the rest of the night.

Before we left I asked about a billion questions. The nurse must have wanted to kill herself. But we were literately signing lives away; what to do with the embryos, do we freeze DH's sperm, how will you pay this 10,000 dollars, sign, sign, sign. . .

On the way home, we stopped for Mexican. I figured it was a fair trade-- Hector's Mexican is not ordinary Mexican food.

9.22.10-

MEDS ARRIVE.

DH took off of work today (because I can't) and waited for the refrigerated box to arrive. It needed a signature and we couldn't just have them leave 1500 dollars worth of meds on the back porch. So about 10am DH called and said it had arrived. I was antsy the whole day to get home and see what was there.

Once I arrived home, I opened the fridge to see DH had thrown everything in the fridge. Including the needles and alcohol wipes. HAHA. When I asked him about it later, and I told him only one box (out of 15?) needed to be refrigerated, he said, "I just wanted to be sure . . ."

At 8:30pm tonight, DH gave me my first shot of Lupron. We read carefully. We even googled what "subcutaneous" meant. He washed his hands, wiped off the bottle and filled the syringe with 10 cc of the Lupron. I squeezed my gut-fat and POKE! It felt a bit strange after a minute, but it went away soon after. I am also finishing up the tetracycline from the mock, birth control, and will stay on baby aspirin until further notice.

Next up?

My first baseline test and u/s is on 9.30.10.

But more importantly, DH's and my 5 year dating anniversary is tomorrow. So much has happened to us in such a short period of time. From just knowing each other as friends to now, going through our first IVF cycle. I don't know what I would do without his love and support. :)

CD3 testing for DH and I, plus injects training.

I'm not sure what it all entails but we've got to be at the RE by 7 am tomorrow morning to do the blood draws and injects training. That means we need to leave no later than 5:45am . . . BAH!

I assume they will get the tests back quickly and we can get our "tentative schedule" for the rest of the IVF process.

I'll update when I get back . . . yeah, before I head to work.

I can't deal with all of this right now.

I'm not sure how anyone can do this.

Story of my craptastic day:

I was woken up this morning by horrible AF cramps. Yes, the bitch is back.

Not only could I not go back to sleep, but the usual "lay in the shower" trick didn't work either.

This was AF from Hell.

In all my years of needing major medication for cramps, I can't remember the last time they were this bad. I tried 1/2 a vicodin. Nada. I tried sitting, standing, laying, crouching, falling wet from the shower onto the cold tile floor-- NADA. I tried another whole vicodin and still nothing! I was nauseous, tired, dizzy, and in serious pain.

To top it all off, nobody was home-- just me. I kept thinking, "Well, if I were to pass out on the floor right now and die, at least they'll someday find me clean."

It went one for hours. Finally, I forced myself to say ontop of towels on the bed without moving and endure the pain until I fell asleep. I slept until 2pm. Like. a. rock.

******

I awoke to the sounds of the doorbell ringing. Apparently some package that I didn't feel necessary to go and retrieve. By the time I go downstairs I decided to make some tea and call my RE's office and tell them I am finally on CD1. It was one long as Hell conversation.

The nurse told me that I could come in Thursday (The first day I can actually set-up my room for teaching) but not until 7am. When I asked if we could do the injection training afterwards (since I don't feel like driving another 2 hours and missing work just to do that 30 minute thing) she said, "We don't do them that early blah, blah, blah. . . "

WHAT?!?! What 'chu talkin' 'bout?

Then she told me I needed to make another appointment for a "Mock ET". Seriously. A mock ET? Like they haven't seen a vagina before? Or mine for that matter?!? I asked if it was like an IUI she said no, because they need to have my bladder full (aware of that) but then use a "dilator" to open up my cervix so they can pass the catheter through. (NOT AWARE OF THAT).

I love how every time I think I have been given all the information, they surprise me with wonderful bits of info like this. Oh and it gets better. . .

I told her I'll schedule it with her now so I can make sure I have a weekend available. She said, "We don't do mock transfers on the weekend." O.M.G. What the fuck do you mean you "Don't do mock transfers on the weekend!" When do you do anything? It doesn't seem to me like you are making time for someone who actually has to work full-time AND is coming to your clinic from out of state to do ANYTHING.

I'm beginning to feel like this is impossible. Like there is something always working against me. First the hydro, now this scheduling nightmare! I am already so aggravated. I'm not even going to go into the mess of trying to have my transcripts transfered. BAH!

I mean, seriously. What do they think I do? I am not in a profession where I can just take off any day of the week. (Correction: DayS).

I have a new job, in a new district, where I am in charge of an entire department. I cannot look bad straight out of the gate. NOR can we afford for me to get fired. I kinda need to pay for this whole cluster-fuck.

Now, I know. Some of you may be thinking, "This is just part of what you need to go through in this process."

BUT WHY?

Why? Why does it need to be made even more difficult than it already is? Can't someone keep their job and have a baby at the same time? Where is the compassion for couples that already have their lives turned upside down? The whole thing is a scheduling nightmare to begin with. Why can we not make an appointment for something that actually is schedule-able? I will gladly wait in the waiting room on a Saturday for an ER or ET to take place if I can get in before everyone goes home. Work with me here people. . . I'm only offering you tens of thousands of dollars.

*****

I don't know where I go from here.

Do I tell my new principal that I need about 10-15 days off in the next two months and when he asks. "Which days?" I say, "I dunno. . . "

Do I say screw the mock transfer? I know they got in with three IUI's, why do they need to charge me more money and more time off or this?

Do I push off this whole thing? . . . 'till when? When is it ever going to be a convenient time?

Until an RE's office becomes a little more compassionate and flexible, there may never be a better time.

What's my plan?

Go in on Thursday. Get the blood tests. Wait for results. Plead with them to let me go in on a weekend for the mock trial or skip it all together. If I decide to quit along the way, at least I tried, right? Bleeeeh. . . .

What to pick?

Not telling who this is for but on the IF chat board we are exchanging jewelry for ladies to wear during their treatments.

I'm having a hard time deciding if any of these would be good.

THOUGHTS?!?!?!?

1.

2. This one in Pink pearls.

3.

4.

5.

AWESOME VIDEO.

Infertility affected approximately 8 million couples last year. With all the misinformation out there (Today show-- that mean YOU!) it's nice to see the real voices in infertility sometimes.

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

Find her blog: hannahweptsarahlaughed.blogspot.com

Coincidences are funny.

Today I switched our health insurance from DH's work to mine. We have to pay a little more for the coverage since I am .90 FTE and not 1.0 FTE-- YET. But in the long run I think it will be worth it. My job seems to have more staying power as DH might be looking to go elsewhere.

While I was talking to the new insurance chick, I was explaining how important having IF coverage was and how ABSOLUTELY ABSURD it is that WI (Allong with MANY MANY other states) do NOT mandate that IF is covered by insurance companies.

Click here for more info.

And YES, it IS absurd. The only way to change these laws is to speak up. Calling your legislators and demanding that they mandate this for all insurance companies is the ONLY way it will ever change. Yes, you need to call. Yes, you should tell friends and family to call as well.

Anyways, as I was talking this over as well as the things I would hope to have covered, Laparoscopy included, she mentioned that she went to a clinic in Madison, WI and was about to have her first IUI done there.

We spent the rest of our hour long phone call talking about treatments, medications, RE's, insurance, and the 100% back (if no baby) IVF plan at my RE.

It was very strange to talk to someone (even on the phone) about infertility. I may even say WEIRD. But in a really good way.

I told her about the IF board that I am on constantly (thebump.com). I hope she joins, because when you can't get support from your insurance company, even when you work for them, at least you can from otherwise perfect strangers.