One more day of stims.

(Above: Left Follies, Below: Right Follies).

I received all my updates this afternoon at school. (I am always anxious to call as soon as 3 o'clock hits!) The nurse told me my numbers (see: right side bar) and said that I won't have the ER on 10.10.10, but most likely the next day Monday, 10.11.10 or at the latest Tuesday, 10.12.10. I am DAYS AWAY PEOPLE--DAYS! DH should feel lucky if I hold back from counting hours and minutes!

I am bummed that I will have to take off more school for this but it's another instance of "it will all be worth it in the end". There are about 36 follies at this point that are worth measuring. Some of the original 43 have "dissolved" into the others or haven't been keeping up. It is funny to me because the right ovary had 29 follies at the first count. Now it has less jumbo follies because each of the 29 follies had to "share the stim medication" with the others. While the left ovary had only 14 follies to begin with, so there was more medication to go around and therefore the follies we able to grow larger. Ah, so is life. . .

I'm hoping all the follies have some eggs to retrieve. I'm thankful that I have ANY follies, but would really like to have a bunch that are able to go to freeze. Unless we are able to use those for a FET, we will most likely not do another IVF cycle until Summer--but this will work so why am I even wondering? :)

In the meantime, DH and I are addicted to all-foods-crappy. We are about to indulge in some Little Caesars $5 pizza for dinner. I wish we could get our eating habits back on track. We are not huge or overweight (in fact DH runs marathons) but we usually eat much better. Last year at this time I was on a vegan cleanse. We just can't seem to get back on track.

We're stressed, tired, and I am HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I have gained 10 pounds from the meds and this way of eating. Crazy.

All I do know is, when I get the positive pregnancy test, I will repeat my habits of the last pregnancy--I am a fitness/diet animal. I paid good money for this baby (or babies)--I'm treatin' it right!

CD9 and counting. . .

It appears I am VERY close to my ER.

The estimated date was 10.10.10. I think they may be right. It will most likely either be Sunday or Monday. Tricky when you are a teacher. I have to make and prepare sub-plans tonight for Monday in case I am not in. BAH!

Either way, it will be worth it--I just have to find the motivation to get my butt in gear.

In other news, Yesterday was a bit of a mess with scheduling my day. I was running on a tight schedule hoping to get back to school in time to teacher ALL of my classes that day. However, before we even got a few miles down he highway, there was a HUGE accident and it pushed us 30-40 minutes late. . . which of course threw everything else off for the rest of the day. I have to say though, with all the driving DH and I have been doing down to IL over the past few weeks, we are simply thankful it was not us in the fatal car accident.

Today, went much better. It was a halfway calm day. We went in, I got poked for blood work and an u/s and then DH made his "emergency deposit".

Allow me to explain: If there was any trouble with DH providing a "sample", "deposit", "splooge" on the ER date, we'd be screwed. So to take stress off of DH and to give us some added security, DH did a "just in case sample" that will be checked and frozen today. If for whatever reason he can't give on on ER date, they will just use the frozen sample from today. it's an extra 100 bucks, but compared to what this whole thing has cost us in time and money--that's chump change.

We also got more update on follie sizes. (See sidebar to right).

I'm pretty happy with where things are right now. In a way its good to know that not 43 follies have grown to 16mm. On the other hand, I wish more of them would grow faster and catch up with their bigger sisters. As long as they are big and strong or "Big is beautiful" as the u/s tech said today, then it will all be okay. (16mm is needed).

Hopefully, tomorrow is the last "during a school day" that I will have to travel to the RE and then to school. For ER and ET, when I'm back--I stay put!

BRING IT!!!

WOOT!

Back up to 112.5 units of Gonal-F!

I think that's a good thing, right?

I had gotten dropped down to 75 units the last few days because of my "too good response". I just want to keep my 43 follies in motion! Grow suckers, GROW!

Tomorrow, I hope does not turn into a nightmare. I am attempting to drive all the way to the clinic for a 6:30am apt and then be back to teach at my high school by 8:14am.

HAHAHAHA!

I have to. If I don't go in, the first two classes of kids will be SO behind and have NOTHING to do while I'm gone. Gotta get them all on board. Hopefully everyone is there for the demo tomorrow. (Fingers Crossed).

Another day filled with frustration. This is getting old.

Spent the morning in the emergency room. Yeah, I know I must be living on top of an Indian burial ground.

In light of all the other craziness, I've not mentioned the massive amount of pain I've been in. My neck, back (no I'm not singing that song. . . dirty minds.) and arm on my left side are KILLING ME. I'm not sure what I pulled or tore during this last week, but I can't even turn my neck or lift my arms properly. It's bad people, real bad. Biggest problem? I can't take the muscle relaxer they've prescribed because they don't have enough evidence to know what harm it causes pregnant women. WTF. So in the meantime, I must sit in pain. I've made an apt with the spine center-- I hope they can fix me.

In other news, the ultrasound tech/ nurse, whatever was the crankiest bitch today--yes, more than usual. The clinic was unexplainably late today. We arrived on time and there was no one in any of the rooms. I went in for my blood work and briefly talked to the nurse.

No one really told me what was going on after this point. One nurse told me to go into a u/s room. So I did. They told me to go empty my bladder (Also see: take a pee) as usual. I did. I came out and DH had my stuff in his hands and the tech kinda pushed us into another room without really saying anything.

I finally went and asked if I should be getting undressed (as usual). She said, "Just wait."

Uh, okay.

So poor DH who had been in the ER with me since 4:30am and then drove all the way to Chicago and had to work later had to sit there with me. And we sat. . . . and sat. . .and then DH tried to sleep. So did I, but my neck hurt too badly to fall asleep.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to know what the heck was going on. Am I still waiting? Is someone coming? What is the hold up?

I just stuck my head out and said to the one nurse, "Do you know how much longer it is going to be? We've been in this room for over a half an hour without anyone telling us why or what we are waiting for?"

She seemed a little surprised that I even asked what was going on. But said she was sorry and that my RE was running behind. I asked if he was going to be giving the u/s. She said he wasn't. . . . so why am I waiting for him then?

Finally, the foreign u/s tech came in and told us to move to the other room again. She was mumbling something about how things get backed up and the doctor does what he wants and saying things that made it seem like we were being too uptight about the wait.

Before, I was fine. I just wanted to know what was going on.

Now, I was mad. She was accusing me of being unreasonable. Like I did something wrong by asking how much longer I;d have to wait past my apt time?

During the u/s I didn't say a thing. I seriously wanted to cry. DH stood there with his hand on my chest and didn't say anything either.

After she finished she said, "I can see you're upset."

I tried to explain why and that I wasn't upset before, I just wanted to ask what was going on. Why is that a problem? I have no idea how this got so blown out of proportion. But again, something must have gotten lost on translation. There was an uncomfortable silence and feeling in the office on the way out. We left angry and confused as to what had just happened.

All I know is, we've paid wayyyyyy too much money to be treated like this. Especially since we now have to go in every day this week. . . most likely every day until the retrieval.

On the way home, I tried to relax and talk with DH. But we were very agitated and tired, not at each other, just at this whole situation.

When we arrived home, we took a nap before DH had to go to work. I took the whole day off luckily. I usually don't but since the apt time was so late (9:00am) I decided it might be best. Glad I did. Hardly got any sleep last night and with my neck in such pain, I would have been horrible to be around today. Students--be glad I called in.

This afternoon, I called the medical voicemail where I got my stim instructions for tonight. Another day of 75 units of Gonal-F and then 5 units of Lupron.

They also said I have 29 follicles on my right side and 14 on my left. That's 43 follies people!

As of yesterday, sizes are 11, 10, two-9's, four-8's, four-7's and then lots of little guys.

If these guys keep growing and develop well, hopefully I won;t have to go through another full IVF cycle again. Good Lord, PLEASE!

Oh for F*ck Sake!

I'm still recovering from yesterday (and the day before).

So when today hit, I kinda. . . .wanted to throw myself under the train.

. . . . . . . . . .

This morning, we left for a very welcome WEEKEND (insert angel music) visit to the RE. It was the second u/s and blood work test--the first since going on stims (Gonal-F).

When we arrived just after 9 am, we were promptly taken back right away. The first time this as happened, might I add. When the nurse told me to come back, I looked around and actually asked, "Me?"

It wasn't worth rehashing what happened two days ago. So I didn't ramble on when she said they now have all the clearance needed. She took my blood and then sent me in for another ultrasound with the foreign lady.

She is an interesting woman. The first time we met, she went on and on about what a "beautiful uterus" I have. But every time we've met since then, she's been crabby as Hell. DH and I think she must never want to be there.

Anyhow, she did the ultrasound and seemed to roll her eyes as I asked for another print out of my ovaries (this time the left one, see: below).

But what do I care? I feel like we've paid BIG BUCKS for this. So if I want 20 photos a day, I've paid for it.

And then. . .we were done. In and out in twenty minutes. Yet it takes us over two hours to drive there and back. It did feel weird to leave without having to stop at the little payment window. Well, at least it did until we realized we had already paid last visit. I think that amount should cover us for a while. :)

On the way home, I did the mortal sin. Although I stayed vegetarian, I ate breakfast with DH at McDonalds: "The death bin". I have many issues with the animal practices at most fast food restaurants. But we were very hungry and a long way from home. I did enjoy a "Cheese and Egg McGriddle" with greasy hash browns and an OJ. Felt a little sick-- that's what I get.

Once home I anxiously awaited the results of the blood work.

Around 1pm, the RE's office called.

I was expecting, "All good, see you on Tuesday."

I got, "You need to come in every day this week."

WHAT?!?!?

Apparently, I'm "responding too well" to the stims.

What the Hell.

I have a new teaching job, in a new district, which is enough on it's own. Now I need to miss a week? Before I miss for the ER and ET? BAH!

My estrogen levels were at 424. They should be between 150-300. I don't want to get overstimulated and 'kick the bucket' so I know I have to go to these appointments each day.

I am just so sick of everything going wrong over the last few days.

I'm nervous that I'll develop OHSS or have to cancel this cycle.

Hopefully, it's just another bump along this screwed up road of infertility. Next stop? I'm only getting off in "babyland" :)

Tomorrow: Another RE u/s and blood work scheduled. . . Just like the rest of this week. . .

Stupid people strike again-- AGAIN!!!

BAH.

Today, poor DH got up bright an early (on a weekend) to give me my morning shot of Gonal-F and then sit around and wait for our delivery of a refrigerated Gonal-F pen to come from Freedom pharmacy before noon.

He watched a movie, did some school work, ate some cookies and waited. . . . and waited. . . and finally, he came upstairs about 12:30pm and told me nobody came yet.

WTF.

I called the pharmacy and told them how we are still waiting for the package that was supposed to arrive before noon. The lady said, "wait. . . let me track it. Can you hold?"

Can I hold. Kinda ironic I think. I've been doing a LOT of holding for other people lately. More work and stress on my part for other people not doing their jobs

"Yes." I say. So now I wait. . . and wait. . . and finally another chick answers the phone. She says "Can I help you?"

I sure as shit hope you can, lady.

I tell her how I've been waiting and explain the whole thing over again. She clearly had no idea what I was on the phone waiting for before she answered. I told her I need this today--in fact hours ago. This is a fertility pharmacy. They should have a clue.

She tells me they have the wrong address on the shipping slip and that it appears it was sent to "1135" instead of "1335".

Seriously?

You've sent me 5-6 packages in the past. I've never had to change my address. In fact, I repeated my address to you when I made this order. Whatever. The fact is somebody screwed up and I'm still sitting here waiting for an 800 dollar pen. She said she'd email this info to customer service and get back to me. I told her I want to talk to someone NOW. I need to know what the Hell is going to happen. She assured me someone will call me back within the hour.

I wait. . . again. DH goes down the street to the imaginary "1135" address. No building is there. I try to spend time panning healthy meals for the week.

An hour or so later I get a phone call. This time it's from Fex Ex. They apparently claim no responsibility for the package being addressed to the wrong place. I get that. They try and take it to where it says it needs to go. But that doesn't change my predicament. She says, "We'll have someone bring it to you Monday."

Monday.

BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I told her, "Uh, not a chance in HELL. It needs to refrigerated, hence the refrigerated package it's in. It's an 800 dollar medication that I need today. No, not Monday, TODAY. I need someone to bring this now. I don't care who's fault it is, all I know it's not my fault and I need it--NOW."

She says, "Well it's not our fault it's the company that sent it, they made the address--"

"You don't seem to understand", I interrupt. "I don't care how or why this happened. I need this today, you have my medication. You know where it needs to go. You need to bring it to me. Period,"

Now she goes and talks to her supervisor.

She comes back onto the phone and says, they don't know what time, but they'll have it for me sometime today-- Now we're talkin'.

Another hour later, she calls back and says it'll be here in about 20 minutes.

I'm waiting.

But no call from Freedom pharmacy yet. Weren't they supposed call over an hour ago. I'm calling those bastards now. . . .

Update: No response from the pharmacy yet. Fed Ex, finally dropped of the package at 2:45pm. But, Freedom pharmacy, I'm not done with you yet.

I'm STIMMING!!!

That's right people, I'm on the stimming meds. 225 of Gonal-F each day.

Here's how this all happened:

Thursday, September 30th, I awoke (very) early and headed to the RE. When DH and I got there we waited again for them to call us back. About 15 minutes after our apt time, we were called back. The nurse (not my usual, Sue) said I was missing an approval from my old OBGYN that said it was okay for me to proceed with the IVF cycle.

Apparently, way back over a year ago when I had my last Pap a few abnormal things appeared. I guess not enough to make my Gyno's office tell me about it, because I didn't know until now. Anyway, because of that they needed clearance from the doctor in addition to the report--which I might add was already a fiasco trying to get to them. Funny though, my RE's office saw this last week (9.20) and didn't tell me until the LAST MINUTE. Not to mention my old RE did our first IUI-- if they didn't think I should be pregnant they definatley wouldn't have given me an IUI or clomid 3x.

The nurse said I needed to get that to them TODAY or I couldn't get my stimming instructions for that night by 4pm. Nice. Aren't I supposed to be trying to stay stress-free?

She said she was going to fax them the letter they needed and hoped they'd return it right away, but that I still needed to call myself (again).

After that whole ordeal, we had to try and explain our new insurance. Why our IVF isn't covered even after they had approval from some dumb bitch at Humana. Then, I had to try and explain why we haven't paid two tiny bills because I am still in debate with the insurance company about them. This and then we had to pay them 9,100 dollars.

Then the real fun began.

First, I had my blood drawn so they could check my levels and give me stim instructions. Then, I went in with the foreign lady for my dildo cam apt. Yeah, that's right during my period. Get used to it ladies-- if you're doing IVF, it's just part of the deal.

Anyways, it was a little annoying, but still interesting. Look what the Lupron did!!! I have many a follie now!!!

(ABOVE: My ute and the tiny lining).

(ABOVE: Right ovary pictured, more on the left ovary as well).

Afterwards, we left and headed to breakfast (It was only 8am at this point). We indulged in the usual on-the-way-home stop-- The Cracker Barrel. PANCAKES!!!

When we arrived back in Milwaukee about 9:45am, we needed to take quick powernaps before we headed back to work (teaching) for the afternoon. Problem was I only got a 45-minute nap. This + Christine= CRANKY. Damn kids drove me NUTZ the rest of the day.

Finally, 3 o'clock came. I headed home. NO MESSAGE OF MY STIM INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE RE.

NONE.

So I called and asked if they got anything back from the OBGYN.

First the stupid girl at the front didn't know what I was talking about. I am so sick of having to tell her everything I want to ask the nurse BEFORE I talk to the nurse. Just let me talk to the woman, damnit! Why do I have to give you my life story every time I call?

When the nurse finally answered, she said they hadn't gotten anything from the OB yet and won't be able to give me my stim instructions until they get it.

I FLIPPED.

I went off on her. I bet she wasn't happy she had to take my call. I told her it was utter bullshit that they waited until THE DAY I needed my stim instructions to tell me I needed to get this info from my OBGYN. That if they didn't give the instructions to me regardless of whether they had 'clearance or not', I was going to take 225 units of gonal-F this evening with my 10 units of lupron, like I remember the nurse saying something about last week. I told her we've paid too much damn money and invested too much of our time and effort to f#ck this up because you guys didn't give me adequate time to handle this.

I had enough. I told her I was going to do my best and call the OBGYN and get the stupid fax back to them.

I called. They had to find the fax. FIND IT.

It was sent about 7:30am that morning. It was now 3:50pm. I told the lady, they needed to do this now, or I was screwed. I also mentioned how I was pissed no one told me I had anything abnormal on my last pap, especially since I was someone who had cancerous cells on her cervix that had to be removed within the last 10 years. (At this point, I was pissed about a LOT).

She said she'd find a doctor to sign it and fax it to them.

Not 3 minutes later, she calls back.

Apparently, she said they HAD faxed the letter signed by my doctor last TUESDAY the 28th.

Yep.

The 28th. . .

Mmm, Hmmm.

"Okay." I said. "I'll let them know."

She said she'd fax it again, just in case.

I called back the RE's office. I tried to tell the stupid girl at the front desk they'd already sent the f'n fax two days ago, but she put me on hold before I could even finish my sentence. Ass.

When the nurse answered, she jumped right into, "Okay, we have it--now here's your stims instructions--are you ready? Are you ready!??!!?"

I was so damn anxious to get the damn thing started and be done with the bullshit of cleaning up everyone else's messes, I just said, "Yep! I'm ready--got my pen!!!!"

The plan:

Thursday 9.30: 225 units of Gonal-F--"RIGHT NOW." She said. (Uh, okay). Then 5 units of Lupron and the baby aspirin.

Friday 10.1: 112.5 untis of Gonal-F in the AM. 112.5 units of Gonal-f, 5 units of Lupron, and the baby aspirin in the PM.

Saturday: Same as Friday.

Sunday: No drugs until you see us at 9:10am for your next u/s and blood work.

I also had to order another Gonal-F pen. $780 bucks a pop!

In the meantime, the gonal-F pen it a breeze. Yet, I am still a cranky bastard. I have constant headaches, and my NECK and BACK ARE KILLING ME. I already set-up two massages for the next two weeks.

So there you have it. I feel my posts getting more testy as time passes and medications increase.

Therefore, as a public service announcement to the RE's office: You better have your shit together when I see you next--'cause I'm stimmin'.